Conversation between Bill Gates and our very own Laloo of Bihar
Gates : Namaskar! you must have heard of Windows.
Laloo : Oh yes! most govt. offices we have the single window clearance
concept.
Gates : At home have u installed Windows?
Laloo : I have removed all windows due to increased burgalaries in our
house.
Gates(Confused) : Then what is the system you operate on?
Laloo : OPERATION? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month.
Gates(Sweating) : Hope the internet is being used a lot in India.
Laloo: Oh Yes! Due to increased mosquito problems many people are sleeping under the net.
Gates: India should export computer chips.
Laloo: We are already exporting Uncle Chips.
Gates(Feeling very Uneasy): do you regularly use LapTops?
Laloo: My grand-child sleeps on the top of my lap.
Gates(Heavily Sweating): The Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh knows a lot about RAM and ROM.
Laloo : RUM? Prohibition is being lifted and it will be shortly available in A.P..
Gates(Feeling Dizzy): I would like to take your leave before my system crashes.
Laloo: I have exhuasted all my leave.
Gates: I have no energy left, let us go out and have a bite.
Laloo: BITE? I believe in non-violence. I will not bite.
Gates: (System Crashes and Found Missing).
"Windows is restarting.Please wait........ ....."
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Mr.Intelligent
A Sardar is invited to tea with President Abdul Kalam.
He asks President Kalam what his leadership philosophy is.
He says that, it is to surround himself with intelligent people.sardar asks how he knows if they're intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says President Kalam.
"Allow me to demonstrate. Sardar watches as President Kalam phones Manmohan Singh, the Indian Prime Minister and says,
"Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister.
Who is it?"
Manmohan immediately responds,
"It's me, Sir !"
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says Kalam.
He hangs up and says,
"Did you get that, Mr. Sardar?"
Sardar nods:
"Yes Mr. President.
Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that. Sardar upon returning to his house , decides he'd better put his brother to the test.
Sardar says,
"brother, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, Bayya. What's on your mind?"
Sardar poses the question:
"Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister.
Who is it?" ;The brother was puzzled and finally asks,
"Can I think about it and get back to you?"
Sardar agrees, and his brother leaves.
Sardar's brother immediately calls his other brothers,and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer.
Finally, in desperation, sardar's brother calls his aunt simran and explains the problem.
"Aunt simran, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Simran answers immediately,
"It's me, of course."
Much relieved, brother rushes back to the elder sardars house, and exclaims,
"I know the answer, Bayya!
I know, who it is!
It's simran!"
And sardar replies in disgust,
"Wrong, its Manmohan Singh!"
He asks President Kalam what his leadership philosophy is.
He says that, it is to surround himself with intelligent people.sardar asks how he knows if they're intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says President Kalam.
"Allow me to demonstrate. Sardar watches as President Kalam phones Manmohan Singh, the Indian Prime Minister and says,
"Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister.
Who is it?"
Manmohan immediately responds,
"It's me, Sir !"
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says Kalam.
He hangs up and says,
"Did you get that, Mr. Sardar?"
Sardar nods:
"Yes Mr. President.
Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that. Sardar upon returning to his house , decides he'd better put his brother to the test.
Sardar says,
"brother, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, Bayya. What's on your mind?"
Sardar poses the question:
"Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister.
Who is it?" ;The brother was puzzled and finally asks,
"Can I think about it and get back to you?"
Sardar agrees, and his brother leaves.
Sardar's brother immediately calls his other brothers,and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer.
Finally, in desperation, sardar's brother calls his aunt simran and explains the problem.
"Aunt simran, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Simran answers immediately,
"It's me, of course."
Much relieved, brother rushes back to the elder sardars house, and exclaims,
"I know the answer, Bayya!
I know, who it is!
It's simran!"
And sardar replies in disgust,
"Wrong, its Manmohan Singh!"
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Chak de india ippodhu tamilil....!!!!!!!
சமீபத்தில் நான் பார்த்து ரசித்த படம் சக் தே இந்தியா. தரமான படம். ஷாருக்கான் என்ற அற்புதமான நடிகன் எப்படி மற்ற படங்களில் வீணடிக்கப்படுகிறான் என்பதற்கு இந்த படம் நல்ல உதாரணம். இது போல ஒரு படம் ஏன் தமிழில் வருவதில்லை என்று விவாதித்தோம். அப்போது வேடிக்கையாக நம் தமிழ் நடிகர்கள் இந்த மாதிரி படத்தில் நடித்தால் கதை எப்படி இருக்கும் என்று யோசித்தோம். அதை தான் இப்போது இங்கே பகிர்ந்துகொள்ள போகிறேன்.
கேப்டன் புரட்சிக்கலைஞர் விஜயகாந்த்: நம் கேப்டன் இந்த படத்தில் நடித்திருந்தால், 16 பெண்களுக்கும் ஹாக்கி மட்டை பதில், ஏகே 47 துப்பாக்கி பயிற்சி கொடுத்திருப்பார். பின்பு அனைவருடன் ஒரு டூயட் பாடி முடித்து, நம் நாட்டை பற்றி விலாவரியாக statistics சொல்லி முடித்து, எல்லாரையும் கூப்பிட்டு போய் காஷ்மீரில் baakistaan தீவரவாதிகிளுடன் சண்டை போடுவார். படத்தில் இவரோட பன்ச் லைன் "penalty தமில்ல எனக்கு பிடிக்காத வார்த்த.." படத்திற்கு அட்டகாசமாக "சுக்கு டா இந்தியா" என்று பெயர் வைத்திருப்பார். சன் டிவியில், கால் மேல் கால் போட்டுகொண்டு "சுக்கு டா இந்தியா...காரம் இல்லை" என்று விமர்சனம் செய்வார்கள்.
கமல்ஹாசன்: 16 பெண்களில், பத்து கெட்டப்பை அவரே போட்டிருப்பார். கோச்சாக 'நம்மவர்' தாடி வைத்துகொண்டு வந்திருப்பார். அவருடைய ·ப்ளாஷ்பேக்கை ஒருவர் பாகிஸ்தானிடம் அவர் பெட்டி வாங்கிக்கொண்டு இந்தியாவுக்கு துரோகம் செய்துவிட்டார் என்று வில்லன் ரேஞ்சுக்கு சொல்லுவார், ஆனால் அவரோ அதெ ·ப்ளாஷ்பேக் காட்சியை கேமிரா அங்கிளை மாற்றி வேறு மாதிரி சொல்லி அவர் நிரபராதி என்று நிரூபிப்பார்.
சூப்பர்ஸ்டார்: தலைவரை 16 பெண்களும் ஒருதலையாக காதலிப்பார்கள், தலைவரின் பெற்றோர்கள் அந்த பதினாறில் ஒன்றை செலக்ட் செய்ய சொல்லுவார்கள், ஆனால் தலைவரோ தனக்கு 'தமிழ் கலாச்சாரதோட ஒரு பெண் தான் வேண்டும்' என்று சொல்லி, ஹாக்கி ஸ்டேடியம் கூட்டிகொண்டிருக்கும் பெண்ணை டாவடிப்பார். வில்லன் ஹாக்கி மேட்சை fix செய்யும் ப்ரோக்கராக வருவார். அவர் தலைவரிடம் தோற்றுபோக சொல்ல, தலைவரோ மாட்டேன் என்று சொல்ல, வில்லன் வில்லத்தனம் செய்து தலைவரை பாகிஸ்தான் கையாள் என்று முத்திரை குற்றி விடுவான். தலைவர் பிறகு ஹாக்கி மேட்சில் புரளும் பெட்டிங் பணத்தை எல்லாம் வில்லன்களிடம் வெளியே கொண்டு வந்து, ஊருக்கு ஊர் ஹாக்கி ஸ்டேடியம் கட்டுவார். படத்தின் பெயர் "சிவாஜி the coach". படத்தில் இவரோட பன்ச் லைன் "goalஅ போட்டாலே ச்சும்மா அதிருதுல்ல..."
விக்ரம்: 'நான் கோச் இல்ல...பொறுக்கி' இது தான் படத்தில் இவரோட பஞ்ச் லைன். ரேய்மண்ட் க்ளாஸ் போட்டுக்கொண்டு முறுக்காக 16 பெண்களுக்கும் கோச் கொடுப்பார். அதில் ஒரு மாமி ·பிகரை மட்டும் காதலிப்பார். இங்கேயும் வில்லன் மேட்ச் ·பிக்ஸிங் பார்ட்டி. வில்லன் லஞ்சம் கொடுக்க, அதை வாங்கிக்கொள்வார், க்ளைமாக்சில் தான் அந்த பணத்தையெல்லாம் பிரதமர் ஹாக்கி நிதிக்கு அவர் கொடுத்தது தெரியும்.
சிம்பு: தம்பி சிம்புவை ஹாக்கி ஆடும் பெண் ஒருத்தி ஏமாற்றிவிட, அதற்கு பழிவாங்க அண்ணன் சிம்பு கோச்சாக பொய் சொல்லிக்கொண்டு 16 பெண்களையும் ஏமாற்றுவார். அடிக்கடி "யார் முதல்ல கோல் போடுறாங்கன்னு முக்கியம் இல்ல..கடைசில் யார் நிறைய கோல் போடுறாங்கன்னு தான் முக்கியம்.." என்று விரலை மடக்கி மடக்கி சொல்லுவார்.
_netil suttadhu!
கேப்டன் புரட்சிக்கலைஞர் விஜயகாந்த்: நம் கேப்டன் இந்த படத்தில் நடித்திருந்தால், 16 பெண்களுக்கும் ஹாக்கி மட்டை பதில், ஏகே 47 துப்பாக்கி பயிற்சி கொடுத்திருப்பார். பின்பு அனைவருடன் ஒரு டூயட் பாடி முடித்து, நம் நாட்டை பற்றி விலாவரியாக statistics சொல்லி முடித்து, எல்லாரையும் கூப்பிட்டு போய் காஷ்மீரில் baakistaan தீவரவாதிகிளுடன் சண்டை போடுவார். படத்தில் இவரோட பன்ச் லைன் "penalty தமில்ல எனக்கு பிடிக்காத வார்த்த.." படத்திற்கு அட்டகாசமாக "சுக்கு டா இந்தியா" என்று பெயர் வைத்திருப்பார். சன் டிவியில், கால் மேல் கால் போட்டுகொண்டு "சுக்கு டா இந்தியா...காரம் இல்லை" என்று விமர்சனம் செய்வார்கள்.
கமல்ஹாசன்: 16 பெண்களில், பத்து கெட்டப்பை அவரே போட்டிருப்பார். கோச்சாக 'நம்மவர்' தாடி வைத்துகொண்டு வந்திருப்பார். அவருடைய ·ப்ளாஷ்பேக்கை ஒருவர் பாகிஸ்தானிடம் அவர் பெட்டி வாங்கிக்கொண்டு இந்தியாவுக்கு துரோகம் செய்துவிட்டார் என்று வில்லன் ரேஞ்சுக்கு சொல்லுவார், ஆனால் அவரோ அதெ ·ப்ளாஷ்பேக் காட்சியை கேமிரா அங்கிளை மாற்றி வேறு மாதிரி சொல்லி அவர் நிரபராதி என்று நிரூபிப்பார்.
சூப்பர்ஸ்டார்: தலைவரை 16 பெண்களும் ஒருதலையாக காதலிப்பார்கள், தலைவரின் பெற்றோர்கள் அந்த பதினாறில் ஒன்றை செலக்ட் செய்ய சொல்லுவார்கள், ஆனால் தலைவரோ தனக்கு 'தமிழ் கலாச்சாரதோட ஒரு பெண் தான் வேண்டும்' என்று சொல்லி, ஹாக்கி ஸ்டேடியம் கூட்டிகொண்டிருக்கும் பெண்ணை டாவடிப்பார். வில்லன் ஹாக்கி மேட்சை fix செய்யும் ப்ரோக்கராக வருவார். அவர் தலைவரிடம் தோற்றுபோக சொல்ல, தலைவரோ மாட்டேன் என்று சொல்ல, வில்லன் வில்லத்தனம் செய்து தலைவரை பாகிஸ்தான் கையாள் என்று முத்திரை குற்றி விடுவான். தலைவர் பிறகு ஹாக்கி மேட்சில் புரளும் பெட்டிங் பணத்தை எல்லாம் வில்லன்களிடம் வெளியே கொண்டு வந்து, ஊருக்கு ஊர் ஹாக்கி ஸ்டேடியம் கட்டுவார். படத்தின் பெயர் "சிவாஜி the coach". படத்தில் இவரோட பன்ச் லைன் "goalஅ போட்டாலே ச்சும்மா அதிருதுல்ல..."
விக்ரம்: 'நான் கோச் இல்ல...பொறுக்கி' இது தான் படத்தில் இவரோட பஞ்ச் லைன். ரேய்மண்ட் க்ளாஸ் போட்டுக்கொண்டு முறுக்காக 16 பெண்களுக்கும் கோச் கொடுப்பார். அதில் ஒரு மாமி ·பிகரை மட்டும் காதலிப்பார். இங்கேயும் வில்லன் மேட்ச் ·பிக்ஸிங் பார்ட்டி. வில்லன் லஞ்சம் கொடுக்க, அதை வாங்கிக்கொள்வார், க்ளைமாக்சில் தான் அந்த பணத்தையெல்லாம் பிரதமர் ஹாக்கி நிதிக்கு அவர் கொடுத்தது தெரியும்.
சிம்பு: தம்பி சிம்புவை ஹாக்கி ஆடும் பெண் ஒருத்தி ஏமாற்றிவிட, அதற்கு பழிவாங்க அண்ணன் சிம்பு கோச்சாக பொய் சொல்லிக்கொண்டு 16 பெண்களையும் ஏமாற்றுவார். அடிக்கடி "யார் முதல்ல கோல் போடுறாங்கன்னு முக்கியம் இல்ல..கடைசில் யார் நிறைய கோல் போடுறாங்கன்னு தான் முக்கியம்.." என்று விரலை மடக்கி மடக்கி சொல்லுவார்.
_netil suttadhu!
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Lion's Onsite Experience
In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day.
The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US Zoo.
The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also.
On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast.
The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few bananas.
Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.
The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.
The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, 'Don't you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with your management?, what nonsense is this?, why are you delivering bananas to me?'
The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle but ... did you know that you have been brought here on a monkey's visa!!!
The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US Zoo.
The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also.
On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast.
The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few bananas.
Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.
The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.
The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, 'Don't you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with your management?, what nonsense is this?, why are you delivering bananas to me?'
The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle but ... did you know that you have been brought here on a monkey's visa!!!
Study Computer in 30 days namba chennaiyila!!!!
>> >File = failu
>> >Save = kaapathu
>> >Save as = Aiyye, ipdi kaapathu
>> >Save All = alaathaium kaapathu
>> >Help = udhvu
>> >Find = thedu
>> >Find Again = inoru thaba thedu
>> >Move = jaga vaangu
>> >Mail = postu
>> >Mailer = posttuman
>> >Zoom = persa kaattu
>> >Zoom Out = velilavanthu persa kaattu
>> >Open = thera naina
>> >Close = pothiko
>> >New = pucchu
>> >Old = palsu
>> >Replace = itha thooki athle, athe thooki ithle podu
>> >
>> >Run = odu naina
>> >Execute = kollu
>> >Print = achu adi
>> >Print Preview = paathu achu adi
>> >Cut = vetu - kuthu
>> >Copy
= Eaduchan kaapi
>> >Paste = ottu
>> >Paste Special = nalla echcha thottu ottu
>> >Delete = keesidu
>> >View = look-vudu
>> >Tools = spannaru
>> >Toolsbar = spanner setu
>> >Spreadsheet = verisheetu
>> >Database = Dappaa
>> >Exit = odra dei
>> >Compress = amuki-podu
>> >Mouse = eili
>> >Click = Poto satham
>> >Scrollbar = inge angae alathadi
>> >Pay Per View = dhudukku bayascoppu
>> >Next = appaala
>> >Previous = munaagati
>> >Trash bin = koovam nadhi
>> >Solitaire = mangaatha
>> >Drag & hold = nallaa isthu pudi
>> >Double click = rendu dhabaa
>> >Do you want to delete selected item? = Maiyalume
>> >thukirava?
>>
>Do you want to move selected item? = Maiyalume
>> >kadasidava?
>> >Do you want to save selected item? = Maiyalume
>> >vachukkava?
>> >Abort, Retry, Ignore = Ishtam illati uttudu
>> >Yes,No,Cancel = ippa innaa sollikeere nee
>> >General protection fault = Gaali
>> >Access denied = Kai veche keesiduven
>> > Unrecoverable error = Bada bejarpa
Avolo thaanunga!!!
>> >Save = kaapathu
>> >Save as = Aiyye, ipdi kaapathu
>> >Save All = alaathaium kaapathu
>> >Help = udhvu
>> >Find = thedu
>> >Find Again = inoru thaba thedu
>> >Move = jaga vaangu
>> >Mail = postu
>> >Mailer = posttuman
>> >Zoom = persa kaattu
>> >Zoom Out = velilavanthu persa kaattu
>> >Open = thera naina
>> >Close = pothiko
>> >New = pucchu
>> >Old = palsu
>> >Replace = itha thooki athle, athe thooki ithle podu
>> >
>> >Run = odu naina
>> >Execute = kollu
>> >Print = achu adi
>> >Print Preview = paathu achu adi
>> >Cut = vetu - kuthu
>> >Copy
= Eaduchan kaapi
>> >Paste = ottu
>> >Paste Special = nalla echcha thottu ottu
>> >Delete = keesidu
>> >View = look-vudu
>> >Tools = spannaru
>> >Toolsbar = spanner setu
>> >Spreadsheet = verisheetu
>> >Database = Dappaa
>> >Exit = odra dei
>> >Compress = amuki-podu
>> >Mouse = eili
>> >Click = Poto satham
>> >Scrollbar = inge angae alathadi
>> >Pay Per View = dhudukku bayascoppu
>> >Next = appaala
>> >Previous = munaagati
>> >Trash bin = koovam nadhi
>> >Solitaire = mangaatha
>> >Drag & hold = nallaa isthu pudi
>> >Double click = rendu dhabaa
>> >Do you want to delete selected item? = Maiyalume
>> >thukirava?
>>
>Do you want to move selected item? = Maiyalume
>> >kadasidava?
>> >Do you want to save selected item? = Maiyalume
>> >vachukkava?
>> >Abort, Retry, Ignore = Ishtam illati uttudu
>> >Yes,No,Cancel = ippa innaa sollikeere nee
>> >General protection fault = Gaali
>> >Access denied = Kai veche keesiduven
>> > Unrecoverable error = Bada bejarpa
Avolo thaanunga!!!
Reason Why Never a 5* Hotel
Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"
Answer: "tea please"
Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "
Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?"
Answer: "white"
Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?"
Answer: "With milk "
Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"
Answer: "With cow milk please.
Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "
Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar"
Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "
Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"
Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."
Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "
Answer: "Mineral water"
Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst
Answer: "tea please"
Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "
Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?"
Answer: "white"
Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?"
Answer: "With milk "
Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"
Answer: "With cow milk please.
Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "
Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar"
Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "
Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"
Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."
Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "
Answer: "Mineral water"
Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst
Vetti paya mavaney Vetti paya mavaney(Sutrum vizhi sudare mettula paadanunga)
Vetti paya mavaney Vetti paya mavaney
Vettiya nee oorai suthadhey!
Sattai payyil dhambadi kaasukooda illama Koottam katti vambu pesadhey!
Netru endhan kanavil, ottai thattai yendhiye Pichai ketka soppanam
kandane! Nee vandhu Pichai ketka soppanam kandane!
(Vetti paya mavaney)
Thinnayil unnai kandane Rummyil unnai kandane Kallukkadai benchil unnai
kandane!
Somberigal kootam pottaal,
Nee adhil thalaivan endru
Indru dhaney naanum kandu kondane!
Bladeugalil mokkai blade
Unnidmdhan naan kandane - une vaarthai
Bladeai kollum blade enbane!
(Vetti paya mavaney)
Marangothi paravai ondru Sevikkuley ponadhendru Udal mudhal uyir varai
nondhane!
Theeyindri thiriyumindri ennudal eriyumendru Une pechai kettunarndhu
kondane!
Mazhai azhaga? Veyyil azhaga?
Neeyirundhaal yedhu azhagu? Nee ooril,
Illavittaal rendum azhagu!(vettipaya...)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-netil suttadhu!!!!!
Vettiya nee oorai suthadhey!
Sattai payyil dhambadi kaasukooda illama Koottam katti vambu pesadhey!
Netru endhan kanavil, ottai thattai yendhiye Pichai ketka soppanam
kandane! Nee vandhu Pichai ketka soppanam kandane!
(Vetti paya mavaney)
Thinnayil unnai kandane Rummyil unnai kandane Kallukkadai benchil unnai
kandane!
Somberigal kootam pottaal,
Nee adhil thalaivan endru
Indru dhaney naanum kandu kondane!
Bladeugalil mokkai blade
Unnidmdhan naan kandane - une vaarthai
Bladeai kollum blade enbane!
(Vetti paya mavaney)
Marangothi paravai ondru Sevikkuley ponadhendru Udal mudhal uyir varai
nondhane!
Theeyindri thiriyumindri ennudal eriyumendru Une pechai kettunarndhu
kondane!
Mazhai azhaga? Veyyil azhaga?
Neeyirundhaal yedhu azhagu? Nee ooril,
Illavittaal rendum azhagu!(vettipaya...)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-netil suttadhu!!!!!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
just for laugh!!!
If Sonia Gandhi became PM of India
If Sonia Gandhi becomes the Prime Minister....
10.There will be branches of Olive Garden all over India
and they will be called OZinda Bagicha!!
9. Their only vegetarian dish will be Eggplant Parmesan and
it will be called Anda-Pauda Parmeshwaran!!
8. All Vadapav Gaadis and Stalls will be selling Pizza and
Pasta.
7. India's National Sport will be - Ofcourse Soccer.
6. Laloo will lose his position as the national animal and
will be replaced by Jayalalitha!
5. National vegetable-Zucchini
4. There will be Pope John Paul's 'yearly' visit - twice
every year!!
3. Jahangir Art gallery will be renamed to "Michaelangelo's
Confetti house"!!
2. Men in Indian Army will wear Mini Skirts!!
And ...the number one thing that will happen if Sonia
Becomes the Prime Minister of India is.....
1.All Sindhi People will get promotions in their positions
because she thinks they are all ITALIANS!! (Kotwani, Multani, Vaswani
......resemble Mussolini, Gianini, Benini etc.....*Kulkarni
also have a fair chance*...)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man is on his way home from work one afternoon in Chennai. He's stopped in traffic and thinks, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual we're not even moving."
He notices a police officer walking down thehighway in between the cars and he rolls down his window and says,"Excuse me officer, what's the hold up?"
"Jayalalitha just found out the verdict, and she's all depressed. She's lying down in the middle of the highway and she's threatening to douse herself in gasoline and light herself on fire. She just doesn't have Rs.85 Crores for the tax dues. I'm walking around taking up a collection for her"
The man says,"Oh really, how much have you got so far."
"So far....ten litres."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Sonia Gandhi becomes the Prime Minister....
10.There will be branches of Olive Garden all over India
and they will be called OZinda Bagicha!!
9. Their only vegetarian dish will be Eggplant Parmesan and
it will be called Anda-Pauda Parmeshwaran!!
8. All Vadapav Gaadis and Stalls will be selling Pizza and
Pasta.
7. India's National Sport will be - Ofcourse Soccer.
6. Laloo will lose his position as the national animal and
will be replaced by Jayalalitha!
5. National vegetable-Zucchini
4. There will be Pope John Paul's 'yearly' visit - twice
every year!!
3. Jahangir Art gallery will be renamed to "Michaelangelo's
Confetti house"!!
2. Men in Indian Army will wear Mini Skirts!!
And ...the number one thing that will happen if Sonia
Becomes the Prime Minister of India is.....
1.All Sindhi People will get promotions in their positions
because she thinks they are all ITALIANS!! (Kotwani, Multani, Vaswani
......resemble Mussolini, Gianini, Benini etc.....*Kulkarni
also have a fair chance*...)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man is on his way home from work one afternoon in Chennai. He's stopped in traffic and thinks, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual we're not even moving."
He notices a police officer walking down thehighway in between the cars and he rolls down his window and says,"Excuse me officer, what's the hold up?"
"Jayalalitha just found out the verdict, and she's all depressed. She's lying down in the middle of the highway and she's threatening to douse herself in gasoline and light herself on fire. She just doesn't have Rs.85 Crores for the tax dues. I'm walking around taking up a collection for her"
The man says,"Oh really, how much have you got so far."
"So far....ten litres."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There Was Life Before the Computer
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account!
And if you had a broken disk,
It would hurt when you found out!
Compress was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile!
Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!
Cut--you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu!
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!
-netil suttadhu!!!
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account!
And if you had a broken disk,
It would hurt when you found out!
Compress was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile!
Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!
Cut--you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu!
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!
-netil suttadhu!!!
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
JOKES!!!!!!!
Different stages a man face during his life....
----------------------------------------------
Before finding a Girl.....................Superman
After finding a Girl......................Spiderman
After Engaging with a Girl................Gentleman
After Marrying a Girl.....................Watchman
5 Years after marriage ...................Doberman !!!
__________________________________________________________
Who Killed Jesus Christ?
Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask
each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer.
When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who Killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The
Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question. He replied Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was
asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow." When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How was the interview?" Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
எவ்வளவு பெரிய Advocate-டா இருந்தாலும் அவராள வாழ மீனுக்கும் விலங்கு மீனுக்கும் divorce வாங்கித்தர முடியாது
ஆயிரம் தான் இருந்தாலும் ஆயிரத்து ஒனு தான் பெருசு..
" ஈ "அடிச்சா " ஈ " சாகும் . கொசு அடிச்சா கொசு சாகும் .. Phone அடிச்சா Phone சாகுமா ?
தெங்காயிலயும் தண்ணி இருக்கு , பூமிலயும் தண்ணி இருக்கு ,ஆனா தெங்காயில Bore போட முடியுமா... இல்ல பூமிலதான் straw போட்டு தண்ணி எடுக்க முடியுமா ?? நல்லா யொசிங்க...
போகிக்கும் பொங்களுக்கும் ஒரு நாள் தான் வித்தியாசம் , ஆனா பொங்களுக்கும் போகிக்கும் ஒரு வருசம் வித்தியாசம் . என்னா உலகமாடா இது ....
T நகர்ல டீ வாஙலாம் ..... ஆனா விருதுநகர்ல விருது வாங்க முடியுமா??
சின்ன சந்தேகம் ... பஸ் Route-ல பஸ் போகும் , Train Route-ல Train போகும்,.. பீட்ருட்டுல என்ன போகும் ? இப்படி தான் புதுசு புதுசா யொசிக்கனும் ...
முதல்வரே ஆனாலும் முதல் சீட்டு Driver க்கு தான்.
தெங்காயிலிருந்து வந்தா அது தெங்கா எண்னை... கடலையிலேந்து வந்தா கடலயெண்னை ... அப்படினா விளக்குலேருந்து வரது விளக்கெண்னயா ??
உனக்கு என்னாதான் தல சுத்துனாலூம் உன்னால முதுக பாக்க முடியாது
கோலமாவுல கோலம் பொடலாம் ... ஆனா கடலை மாவுல கடலை போட முடியுமா?
நீ எவ்வளவுதான் Costly-யான Cell வச்சிருந்தாலூம் Msg-அ forward- தான் பன்ன முடியும் ... Rewind பன்ன முடியாது ..
Butter'fly fly ஆகும் ..... Catter'pillar pillar ஆகுமா?
Cycle ல போனா Cycling, Train ல போனா Training ஆ ..!!
Iron Box வச்சு Iron பண்ணலாம் ஆனா Pencil Box வச்சு Pencil பண்ண முடியுமா?
குவாட்டர் அடிச்சிட்டு குப்புற படுத்துகலாம் ! ஆனா குப்புற படுத்துகிட்டு குவாட்டர் அடிக்க முடியுமா
நாய் வால ஆட்டலாம் , ஆனா வால் நாய ஆட்ட முடியாது
Train-னுக்கு டிக்கட்டு வாங்கி platform-ல உட்காரலாம் ! ஆனா Platform டிக்கட்டு வாங்கி Train-ல உட்க்கார முடியாது
உலகம் தெரியாம வாழ்ந்தா அவன் வெகுளி ! ஆனா கிரிக்கட் தெரியாம வாழ்ந்தா அவன் GANGULY
Cycle carrirer- ல டீப்பன் வச்சூ எடுத்துட்டு போகலாம் ! ஆனா டீப்பன் carrier-ல Cycle வச்சூ எடுத்துட்டு போக முடியாது
கால்வாயில கால் வைக்க முடியும் ! ஆனா வாய்க்காலுல வாய் வைக்க முடியுமா?
பால்கோவா , பால்லிருந்து பண்ணலாம் ... ஆனா ரசகுல்லாவா ரசத்திலிருந்து பண்ண முடியுமா?
சோடாவ, fridge- ல வச்சா cooling சோடா ஆகும் ! ஆனா washing machine-ல வச்சா washing சோடா ஆகுமா ??
நெய் ரொஸ்ட்டுல நெய் இருக்கும் ! ஆனா பேப்பர் ரொஸ்ட்டுல பேப்பர் இருக்குமா?
தண்ணீர.. தண்ணினு சொல்லலாம் ஆனா , பண்ணிர பண்ணினு சொல்ல முடியுமா?
தயிர் வடையில தயிர் இருக்கும்...
உளுந்த வடையில உளுந்து இருக்கும்...
ரச வடையில கூட ரசம் இருக்கும்...
ஆனா
ஆமை வடையில ஆமை இருக்காது....
இதெல்லாம் நிங்க ஏத்துக்கலெனா... இருக்கவெ இருக்கு ..
-sutta kadi
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Top 21 things Indians do when they come back to India.....
Here are TOP 21:
21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.
20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health
conscious.
19. Sprays duo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.
18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.
17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four
Instead of Seven Zero Four)
Says "gas" instead of "petrol"
16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing
every
time he steps out.
15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and
counts
in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)
14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible
(but
deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).
13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.
12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee"
several
times, if the other person unable to
get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)
11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY,
says
"Oh! British Style!!!!"
10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.
9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".
8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.
7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.
6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is
experiencing it for the first time.
5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "Mojule".
4. Looks speciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.
Few more important
3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways
by
which he traveled back to India, even
after 4 months of arrival.
2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to
roll the bag on Indian Roads.
Ultimate one
1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was
in
US..."
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Before finding a Girl.....................Superman
After finding a Girl......................Spiderman
After Engaging with a Girl................Gentleman
After Marrying a Girl.....................Watchman
5 Years after marriage ...................Doberman !!!
__________________________________________________________
Who Killed Jesus Christ?
Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask
each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer.
When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who Killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The
Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question. He replied Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was
asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow." When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How was the interview?" Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder."
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எவ்வளவு பெரிய Advocate-டா இருந்தாலும் அவராள வாழ மீனுக்கும் விலங்கு மீனுக்கும் divorce வாங்கித்தர முடியாது
ஆயிரம் தான் இருந்தாலும் ஆயிரத்து ஒனு தான் பெருசு..
" ஈ "அடிச்சா " ஈ " சாகும் . கொசு அடிச்சா கொசு சாகும் .. Phone அடிச்சா Phone சாகுமா ?
தெங்காயிலயும் தண்ணி இருக்கு , பூமிலயும் தண்ணி இருக்கு ,ஆனா தெங்காயில Bore போட முடியுமா... இல்ல பூமிலதான் straw போட்டு தண்ணி எடுக்க முடியுமா ?? நல்லா யொசிங்க...
போகிக்கும் பொங்களுக்கும் ஒரு நாள் தான் வித்தியாசம் , ஆனா பொங்களுக்கும் போகிக்கும் ஒரு வருசம் வித்தியாசம் . என்னா உலகமாடா இது ....
T நகர்ல டீ வாஙலாம் ..... ஆனா விருதுநகர்ல விருது வாங்க முடியுமா??
சின்ன சந்தேகம் ... பஸ் Route-ல பஸ் போகும் , Train Route-ல Train போகும்,.. பீட்ருட்டுல என்ன போகும் ? இப்படி தான் புதுசு புதுசா யொசிக்கனும் ...
முதல்வரே ஆனாலும் முதல் சீட்டு Driver க்கு தான்.
தெங்காயிலிருந்து வந்தா அது தெங்கா எண்னை... கடலையிலேந்து வந்தா கடலயெண்னை ... அப்படினா விளக்குலேருந்து வரது விளக்கெண்னயா ??
உனக்கு என்னாதான் தல சுத்துனாலூம் உன்னால முதுக பாக்க முடியாது
கோலமாவுல கோலம் பொடலாம் ... ஆனா கடலை மாவுல கடலை போட முடியுமா?
நீ எவ்வளவுதான் Costly-யான Cell வச்சிருந்தாலூம் Msg-அ forward- தான் பன்ன முடியும் ... Rewind பன்ன முடியாது ..
Butter'fly fly ஆகும் ..... Catter'pillar pillar ஆகுமா?
Cycle ல போனா Cycling, Train ல போனா Training ஆ ..!!
Iron Box வச்சு Iron பண்ணலாம் ஆனா Pencil Box வச்சு Pencil பண்ண முடியுமா?
குவாட்டர் அடிச்சிட்டு குப்புற படுத்துகலாம் ! ஆனா குப்புற படுத்துகிட்டு குவாட்டர் அடிக்க முடியுமா
நாய் வால ஆட்டலாம் , ஆனா வால் நாய ஆட்ட முடியாது
Train-னுக்கு டிக்கட்டு வாங்கி platform-ல உட்காரலாம் ! ஆனா Platform டிக்கட்டு வாங்கி Train-ல உட்க்கார முடியாது
உலகம் தெரியாம வாழ்ந்தா அவன் வெகுளி ! ஆனா கிரிக்கட் தெரியாம வாழ்ந்தா அவன் GANGULY
Cycle carrirer- ல டீப்பன் வச்சூ எடுத்துட்டு போகலாம் ! ஆனா டீப்பன் carrier-ல Cycle வச்சூ எடுத்துட்டு போக முடியாது
கால்வாயில கால் வைக்க முடியும் ! ஆனா வாய்க்காலுல வாய் வைக்க முடியுமா?
பால்கோவா , பால்லிருந்து பண்ணலாம் ... ஆனா ரசகுல்லாவா ரசத்திலிருந்து பண்ண முடியுமா?
சோடாவ, fridge- ல வச்சா cooling சோடா ஆகும் ! ஆனா washing machine-ல வச்சா washing சோடா ஆகுமா ??
நெய் ரொஸ்ட்டுல நெய் இருக்கும் ! ஆனா பேப்பர் ரொஸ்ட்டுல பேப்பர் இருக்குமா?
தண்ணீர.. தண்ணினு சொல்லலாம் ஆனா , பண்ணிர பண்ணினு சொல்ல முடியுமா?
தயிர் வடையில தயிர் இருக்கும்...
உளுந்த வடையில உளுந்து இருக்கும்...
ரச வடையில கூட ரசம் இருக்கும்...
ஆனா
ஆமை வடையில ஆமை இருக்காது....
இதெல்லாம் நிங்க ஏத்துக்கலெனா... இருக்கவெ இருக்கு ..
-sutta kadi
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Top 21 things Indians do when they come back to India.....
Here are TOP 21:
21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.
20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health
conscious.
19. Sprays duo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.
18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.
17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four
Instead of Seven Zero Four)
Says "gas" instead of "petrol"
16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing
every
time he steps out.
15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and
counts
in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)
14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible
(but
deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).
13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.
12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee"
several
times, if the other person unable to
get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)
11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY,
says
"Oh! British Style!!!!"
10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.
9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".
8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.
7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.
6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is
experiencing it for the first time.
5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "Mojule".
4. Looks speciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.
Few more important
3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways
by
which he traveled back to India, even
after 4 months of arrival.
2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to
roll the bag on Indian Roads.
Ultimate one
1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was
in
US..."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Mythical Bridge To Voters
In the Valmiki Ramayan, the character Ahalya, was transformed from a stone into a beautiful woman because Lord Rama merely stepped on her. In a similar way Lord Ram has once again breathed new life into our normally stony politicians, who though immovable as rocks on issues such as floods and and poverty reports have been galvanized into new life by the mere touch of Lord Rama.
The sangh parivar is looking far busier than it has in months. A saffron fatwa has been issued by Ram Vilas Vedanti calling for Karunanidhi to be killed. Pravin Togadia of the VHP has materialised from oblivion, yelling furiously that Hindus will be avenged if the Ramar Sethu is damaged by the Sethusamudram Shipping Canal Project. Another sangh stalwart, Murli Manohar Joshi, until recently grumbling on the sidelines about the perils of sex education, is blazing forth again, his tilak redder and more defiant than ever, even spearheading a resolution at the BJP national executive held last weekend in Bhopal. Narendra Modi has found new strength to his anti-Sonia campaign. Rama was not born in Italy, he shouts at his rallies nowadays.
Karunanidhi normally silent on the graver issue of the day such as the manner in which the DMK is able to destroy the constitutional integrity of the union cabinet by reserving ministerial berths, is roaring like a bloodthirsty lion. He too has been transformed from stone to life by the touch of Lord Rama. His atheism and Dravida war cry was never more ostentatious, his anti-Ram pro Ravana ideology was never louder. Rama has transformed Karunandhi into the god of Indian atheism. The Congress, heading into assembly polls in `hindutva' Gujarat is also in a shashtang pranam at the feet of Lord Rama. Ambika Soni, by all accounts a fine minister of tourism who has traveled the world trying to bring tourists, finds herself confronted by asuras in her own cabinet who want to slay her for not being devout enough.
What explains all this hectic political positioning over Rama? The answers lie in the 1991 Ayodhya movement that transformed the Hindus into a "votebank". The Ram Janmabhoomi movement took the BJP from being a marginal force in Indian politics in the 1980s to the status of a dominant national party by the mid 90s. For the first time, the Congress received an ideological as well as a political challenge and the BJP was successful as Advani has often claimed, in at last creating "the second pole" in Indian politics. The NDA victory of 1999 was the triumph of this new political idea. Jai Sri Ram was the new emotive slogan seen to yield rich political dividends.
Undoubtedly, the Ramayan remain fundamental to the Indian cultural identity. In times of globalization, the dominant feeling is one of loss. The loss of our culture, the loss of our values, our languages, our family systems, our festivals, all of it being steamrolled by the seeming juggernaut of the shopping mall, the naked ladies, and the glossy mass media, robbing us of everything we hold dear. The fears are perhaps not exaggerated. Large numbers of 21st century urban youth are not just semi-literate but growing up focused mostly on the nearest ATM machine and the candyfloss Bollywood film with little knowledge of their own traditions. The thousands of smses, emails and blogs that are being sent and written on the need to defend the Ramar setu shows that Ram, when posited as a symbol of an endangered identity, has found a ready echo in many many hearts. The point is however a little different: we all love and respect Rama, but will we necessarily vote for him? There lies a reality check. Ram as a political project is now subject to the law of diminishing returns.
Economic reforms are creating their own kind of politics. India's voting preferences and the issues that drive people to actually cast their vote are radically different from what they were in the last century. The politics of emotion has given way to the politics of expectation and the politics of aspiration. The NDA defeat of 2004 showed that a Hindutva government was not able to retain cultural passion. By the end of its term, it was the Vajpayee persona, standing for moderation and development that had become the NDA's trump card, not the Advani persona of ideological purity. Lets glance at the elections that have taken place this year. What explains Mayawati's victory in UP? Mayawati was able to convey that the BSP is no longer just the party of ideology, but also the party of opportunity. A party where the sarvajan samaj-all castes--can find patronage, jobs, social mobility and a better life. A pure attachment to ideology may have thrilled the BSP cadres, but the public at large was attracted to Mayawati not because of ambedkarite slogans but promise of a better life for all. Why did Captain Amrinder Singh, chief minister of Punjab lose the election? Whatever promises he held out the raja was seen as far too remote, far too arrogant, far too distant from the people. "if he can't even come for my daughter's wedding, why should I vote for him?' was the question. Today the Indian voter demands a political manifesto that holds out opportunity and inclusion. Appeals to pure emotion or pure ideology may be interesting to talk about, but are not considered worth voting on.
Inspite of the DMK agitations and the BJP's protests, the streets of Tamil nadu are quiet. The VHP bandh in north India got a lukewarm response and was called off in a couple of hours. Why did the "national integration" rath yatras of Advani and Rajnath Singh of 2006 fail, when the idea was galvanise "Hindu rage against the UPA's "minorityism." Simply because there are no takers for rath yatras anymore, there are no takers for "hindu rage" anymore. Advani's 1990 Somnath to Ayodhya rath yatra occurred at a time when India was not as global as it is now, the Indian was not as aspirational and still liable to be swayed by provincial passions. It could also be argued that for many thousands of kar sevaks at that time Rama was about finding a job or getting a business opportunity, not necessarily about ideology. Importantly, Advani's rath yatra took place before 24 hour television news. Today the coming of the new economy, the new media, the smses, the bloggers, the mmses and the citizen journalists, have created a voting public far more interested in immediate issues that directly impact them and directly affect their future. Today, even Narendra Modi is shedding his hindutva tag and relying more on his development record. Narendra Modi's preferred identity is of "vikas purush" , someone who harps on his road construction, rural development and his women and child welfare schemes.
It is time perhaps to recognise that, as the forces of the new economy sweep in, the notions of the big ideas that work and those which do not are rapidly changing. Ram as an idea and as a political project has run out of shelf life. The Ram issue is similar to the Left's attempt to whip up anti-imperialism ideology on the Indo-US nuclear deal to galvanise its cadres and hang onto survival. Ideology and the cultural war may be very sexy. But they will yield limited political returns at a time when Indians are more worried about their life on earth rather than their place in heaven or in the socialist utopia.
Posted by Sagarika Ghose
The sangh parivar is looking far busier than it has in months. A saffron fatwa has been issued by Ram Vilas Vedanti calling for Karunanidhi to be killed. Pravin Togadia of the VHP has materialised from oblivion, yelling furiously that Hindus will be avenged if the Ramar Sethu is damaged by the Sethusamudram Shipping Canal Project. Another sangh stalwart, Murli Manohar Joshi, until recently grumbling on the sidelines about the perils of sex education, is blazing forth again, his tilak redder and more defiant than ever, even spearheading a resolution at the BJP national executive held last weekend in Bhopal. Narendra Modi has found new strength to his anti-Sonia campaign. Rama was not born in Italy, he shouts at his rallies nowadays.
Karunanidhi normally silent on the graver issue of the day such as the manner in which the DMK is able to destroy the constitutional integrity of the union cabinet by reserving ministerial berths, is roaring like a bloodthirsty lion. He too has been transformed from stone to life by the touch of Lord Rama. His atheism and Dravida war cry was never more ostentatious, his anti-Ram pro Ravana ideology was never louder. Rama has transformed Karunandhi into the god of Indian atheism. The Congress, heading into assembly polls in `hindutva' Gujarat is also in a shashtang pranam at the feet of Lord Rama. Ambika Soni, by all accounts a fine minister of tourism who has traveled the world trying to bring tourists, finds herself confronted by asuras in her own cabinet who want to slay her for not being devout enough.
What explains all this hectic political positioning over Rama? The answers lie in the 1991 Ayodhya movement that transformed the Hindus into a "votebank". The Ram Janmabhoomi movement took the BJP from being a marginal force in Indian politics in the 1980s to the status of a dominant national party by the mid 90s. For the first time, the Congress received an ideological as well as a political challenge and the BJP was successful as Advani has often claimed, in at last creating "the second pole" in Indian politics. The NDA victory of 1999 was the triumph of this new political idea. Jai Sri Ram was the new emotive slogan seen to yield rich political dividends.
Undoubtedly, the Ramayan remain fundamental to the Indian cultural identity. In times of globalization, the dominant feeling is one of loss. The loss of our culture, the loss of our values, our languages, our family systems, our festivals, all of it being steamrolled by the seeming juggernaut of the shopping mall, the naked ladies, and the glossy mass media, robbing us of everything we hold dear. The fears are perhaps not exaggerated. Large numbers of 21st century urban youth are not just semi-literate but growing up focused mostly on the nearest ATM machine and the candyfloss Bollywood film with little knowledge of their own traditions. The thousands of smses, emails and blogs that are being sent and written on the need to defend the Ramar setu shows that Ram, when posited as a symbol of an endangered identity, has found a ready echo in many many hearts. The point is however a little different: we all love and respect Rama, but will we necessarily vote for him? There lies a reality check. Ram as a political project is now subject to the law of diminishing returns.
Economic reforms are creating their own kind of politics. India's voting preferences and the issues that drive people to actually cast their vote are radically different from what they were in the last century. The politics of emotion has given way to the politics of expectation and the politics of aspiration. The NDA defeat of 2004 showed that a Hindutva government was not able to retain cultural passion. By the end of its term, it was the Vajpayee persona, standing for moderation and development that had become the NDA's trump card, not the Advani persona of ideological purity. Lets glance at the elections that have taken place this year. What explains Mayawati's victory in UP? Mayawati was able to convey that the BSP is no longer just the party of ideology, but also the party of opportunity. A party where the sarvajan samaj-all castes--can find patronage, jobs, social mobility and a better life. A pure attachment to ideology may have thrilled the BSP cadres, but the public at large was attracted to Mayawati not because of ambedkarite slogans but promise of a better life for all. Why did Captain Amrinder Singh, chief minister of Punjab lose the election? Whatever promises he held out the raja was seen as far too remote, far too arrogant, far too distant from the people. "if he can't even come for my daughter's wedding, why should I vote for him?' was the question. Today the Indian voter demands a political manifesto that holds out opportunity and inclusion. Appeals to pure emotion or pure ideology may be interesting to talk about, but are not considered worth voting on.
Inspite of the DMK agitations and the BJP's protests, the streets of Tamil nadu are quiet. The VHP bandh in north India got a lukewarm response and was called off in a couple of hours. Why did the "national integration" rath yatras of Advani and Rajnath Singh of 2006 fail, when the idea was galvanise "Hindu rage against the UPA's "minorityism." Simply because there are no takers for rath yatras anymore, there are no takers for "hindu rage" anymore. Advani's 1990 Somnath to Ayodhya rath yatra occurred at a time when India was not as global as it is now, the Indian was not as aspirational and still liable to be swayed by provincial passions. It could also be argued that for many thousands of kar sevaks at that time Rama was about finding a job or getting a business opportunity, not necessarily about ideology. Importantly, Advani's rath yatra took place before 24 hour television news. Today the coming of the new economy, the new media, the smses, the bloggers, the mmses and the citizen journalists, have created a voting public far more interested in immediate issues that directly impact them and directly affect their future. Today, even Narendra Modi is shedding his hindutva tag and relying more on his development record. Narendra Modi's preferred identity is of "vikas purush" , someone who harps on his road construction, rural development and his women and child welfare schemes.
It is time perhaps to recognise that, as the forces of the new economy sweep in, the notions of the big ideas that work and those which do not are rapidly changing. Ram as an idea and as a political project has run out of shelf life. The Ram issue is similar to the Left's attempt to whip up anti-imperialism ideology on the Indo-US nuclear deal to galvanise its cadres and hang onto survival. Ideology and the cultural war may be very sexy. But they will yield limited political returns at a time when Indians are more worried about their life on earth rather than their place in heaven or in the socialist utopia.
Posted by Sagarika Ghose
Monday, September 24, 2007
India lift inaugural Twenty20 World Cup
JOHANNESBURG, September 24: Mahendra Singh Dhoni's young Team India snatched the inaugural Twenty20 world title after defeating archrivals Pakistan by five runs in a rousing final on Monday.
The Indians, restricted to 157-5 after electing to take first strike in good batting conditions, fought back to bowl out valiant Pakistan for 152 before a sell-out crowd of 32,000 at the Wanderers.
Pakistan appeared out for the count when they were reduced to 104-7 after 16 overs, but Misbah-ul Haq gave the Indians a scare with a late charge of 43 off 38 balls. Misbah and his tail-end partners took 19 runs in the 18th over bowled by Shanthakumaran Sree Santh and seven runs in the 19th from Rudra Pratap Singh, leaving 13 to get off the final over.
Seamer Joginder Sharma bowled a wide off the first ball and was hammered for a six by Misbah with the second legitimate ball, but gave India victory with his next delivery as the batsman holed out to fine-leg. Rudra Pratap and Irfan Pathan claimed three wickets each as Pakistan's jinx of never having beaten India in a World Cup or world championship match continued.
Top Bollywood star Shah Rukh Khan was at hand to witness India take home the winner's purse of 490,000 dollars while Pakistan received no prize money for their efforts in the final. It was a remarkable performance by the Indians who had played just one Twenty20 international before the tournament began.
India's innings was restricted by seamer Umar Gul who scalped three prize wickets of Yuvraj Singh, Dhoni and top-scorer Gautam Gambhir. Gambhir slammed 75 off 54 balls, studded with eight boundaries and two sixes, but none of the other batsmen settled in to play a long innings. The best partnership in the innings was between Gambhir and Yuvraj, who put on 63 for the third wicket.
India's total was boosted by Rohit Sharma and Irfan Pathan who plundered 27 runs in the final two overs. Sharma remained unbeaten on a 16-ball 30.
Pakistan's chase of the victory target of eight runs an over was launched by Imran Nazir who smashed 33 off 14 balls, taking 21 runs in the second over sent down by Sree Santh. But Pakistan lost three wickets by the sixth over as left-armer Rudra Pratap dismissed Mohammad Hafeez and Kamran Akmal in his first two overs and Nazir was run out by a direct throw from Robin Uthappa.
Pakistan took the total to 65-3 in the ninth over when three further wickets fell for 12 runs, two in one over from Irfan Pathan. Batting mainstay Younis Khan made 24 when he gave a catch to mid-on off Joginder Sharma and Irfan removed captain Shoaib Malik and Shahid Afridi in the 12th over.
Malik on-drove Pathan to Rohit Sharma at mid-wicket and Afridi, expected to provide the late fireworks, was caught in the deep off the first ball he faced.
India went into the match without aggressive opener Virender Sehwag who was ruled out of the key match with a thigh strain sustained during Saturday's semi-final against Australia in Durban.
Yousuf Pathan, elder brother of all-rounder Irfan Pathan who replaced Sehwag, made a dramatic start to his international career after being sent in to open the batting.
Pathan survived a run-out scare off the first ball of the match and smashed the fourth ball from Mohammad Asif over long-on for six.
timesofindia
The Indians, restricted to 157-5 after electing to take first strike in good batting conditions, fought back to bowl out valiant Pakistan for 152 before a sell-out crowd of 32,000 at the Wanderers.
Pakistan appeared out for the count when they were reduced to 104-7 after 16 overs, but Misbah-ul Haq gave the Indians a scare with a late charge of 43 off 38 balls. Misbah and his tail-end partners took 19 runs in the 18th over bowled by Shanthakumaran Sree Santh and seven runs in the 19th from Rudra Pratap Singh, leaving 13 to get off the final over.
Seamer Joginder Sharma bowled a wide off the first ball and was hammered for a six by Misbah with the second legitimate ball, but gave India victory with his next delivery as the batsman holed out to fine-leg. Rudra Pratap and Irfan Pathan claimed three wickets each as Pakistan's jinx of never having beaten India in a World Cup or world championship match continued.
Top Bollywood star Shah Rukh Khan was at hand to witness India take home the winner's purse of 490,000 dollars while Pakistan received no prize money for their efforts in the final. It was a remarkable performance by the Indians who had played just one Twenty20 international before the tournament began.
India's innings was restricted by seamer Umar Gul who scalped three prize wickets of Yuvraj Singh, Dhoni and top-scorer Gautam Gambhir. Gambhir slammed 75 off 54 balls, studded with eight boundaries and two sixes, but none of the other batsmen settled in to play a long innings. The best partnership in the innings was between Gambhir and Yuvraj, who put on 63 for the third wicket.
India's total was boosted by Rohit Sharma and Irfan Pathan who plundered 27 runs in the final two overs. Sharma remained unbeaten on a 16-ball 30.
Pakistan's chase of the victory target of eight runs an over was launched by Imran Nazir who smashed 33 off 14 balls, taking 21 runs in the second over sent down by Sree Santh. But Pakistan lost three wickets by the sixth over as left-armer Rudra Pratap dismissed Mohammad Hafeez and Kamran Akmal in his first two overs and Nazir was run out by a direct throw from Robin Uthappa.
Pakistan took the total to 65-3 in the ninth over when three further wickets fell for 12 runs, two in one over from Irfan Pathan. Batting mainstay Younis Khan made 24 when he gave a catch to mid-on off Joginder Sharma and Irfan removed captain Shoaib Malik and Shahid Afridi in the 12th over.
Malik on-drove Pathan to Rohit Sharma at mid-wicket and Afridi, expected to provide the late fireworks, was caught in the deep off the first ball he faced.
India went into the match without aggressive opener Virender Sehwag who was ruled out of the key match with a thigh strain sustained during Saturday's semi-final against Australia in Durban.
Yousuf Pathan, elder brother of all-rounder Irfan Pathan who replaced Sehwag, made a dramatic start to his international career after being sent in to open the batting.
Pathan survived a run-out scare off the first ball of the match and smashed the fourth ball from Mohammad Asif over long-on for six.
timesofindia
Epic India-Pak clash on the cards in T20 final
Johannesburg: It is a colossal day for cricket on the sub-continent. What had seemed an event to test the waters in a new format of the game has taken epic proportions as famed adversaries India and Pakistan strive to become champions of the first ICC Twenty20 World Championship.
The stars have contrived to repair the damage done by their early exit from the World Cup in the West Indies and the two young sides have already done their bit in resurrecting the game that is known to be nothing short of a religion in their respective countries but took a beating earlier this year.
Seeing their run in this 12-team tournament, a fierce contest is definitely on the cards in the final to be played at the Wanderers on Monday afternoon.
India and Pakistan have both lost just one match each going into the final, India going down to New Zealand in a Super Eights match and Pakistan losing to India in a preliminary league tie that saw the first 'bowl out' of the championship.
But all that has happened in the past will matter for little, a point emphasized by skippers Mahendra Singh Dhoni and Shoaib Malik on the eve of the big day.
Rare India-Pak final:
This is only the second instance of India and Pakistan locking horns in the final of a world level event. But in contrast to the World Championship played in Australia in 1985, when banners like "tram drivers versus bus conductors" greeted them, they have great fan following here.
In fact, it was almost a home ground for India at Kingsmead in Durban when they vanquished Australia in the semi-finals, but that is not the kind of support they are likely to get here.
By surprisingly topping their part of the Super Eights league, India had ensured a semi-final at Durban, which proved to be a great advantage for them as they had played all but one of their outings there.
They now move out of their den to the Wanderers, where they lost to New Zealand by 10 runs.
A slight edge here and there:
Both teams have shown the kind of consistency that they are not exactly known for and it is just that wee bit here and there that separates the teams.
India have a slight edge in batting because most of their batsmen have chipped in at some time or the other with Yuvraj Singh being the pick of the lot with 134 runs in four matches (he missed one match) and an astounding strike rate of 235 with a world record 36 in an over to boast of.
Openers Gautam Gambhir and Virender Sehwag have ensured steady starts with Dhoni and Yuvraj doing the accelerating job, Robin Uthappa shining in patches, Rohit Sharma showing promise and Irfan Pathan lending some balance.
Pakistan have two of the most successful batsmen in the tournament with Malik (187) and Misbah-ul-Haq (175) scoring a heap of runs but which also suggests an over-dependence on these two.
Their third most successful batsman, the experienced Younis Khan has scored 103 thus far, not anywhere near the aggregates of Gambhir (152), Dhoni (148), Yuvraj (134) or Sehwag (133).
Cautious captains:
However, Dhoni said he did not believe in going by statistics, nor did he see any relevance of the past record of world level events in which Pakistan have never prevailed.
"Any batsman that gets set can be dangerous and any bowler who strikes rhythm can trouble you," he said on the eve of the match.
On the other hand, Pakistan have an edge in their bowling with Shahid Afridi (12 wickets), Umar Gul (10) and Mohammad Asif (nine) all showing superb abilities while India have generally struggled with their fifth bowler except for the Aussie outing.
Malik was wary of the Indian bowling and worried about India's batting.
"RP Singh and Sreesanth have been bowling well while Yuvraj's batting form is a worry for us. I have never seen him bat like he is doing right now," he said.
Friendlier turf for batting:
The pitch here is not likely to be as seamer-friendly as the one in Durban. One will have to wait and see to whose advantage that it eventually turns out to be.
India's bowlers did well because they used the windy conditions well while their batsmen may find it less disconcerting to take on a spicy Pakistan pace combination.
The average run-rate at the Wanderers has been 8.72 per over so far in the championship.
cricketnext.com
The stars have contrived to repair the damage done by their early exit from the World Cup in the West Indies and the two young sides have already done their bit in resurrecting the game that is known to be nothing short of a religion in their respective countries but took a beating earlier this year.
Seeing their run in this 12-team tournament, a fierce contest is definitely on the cards in the final to be played at the Wanderers on Monday afternoon.
India and Pakistan have both lost just one match each going into the final, India going down to New Zealand in a Super Eights match and Pakistan losing to India in a preliminary league tie that saw the first 'bowl out' of the championship.
But all that has happened in the past will matter for little, a point emphasized by skippers Mahendra Singh Dhoni and Shoaib Malik on the eve of the big day.
Rare India-Pak final:
This is only the second instance of India and Pakistan locking horns in the final of a world level event. But in contrast to the World Championship played in Australia in 1985, when banners like "tram drivers versus bus conductors" greeted them, they have great fan following here.
In fact, it was almost a home ground for India at Kingsmead in Durban when they vanquished Australia in the semi-finals, but that is not the kind of support they are likely to get here.
By surprisingly topping their part of the Super Eights league, India had ensured a semi-final at Durban, which proved to be a great advantage for them as they had played all but one of their outings there.
They now move out of their den to the Wanderers, where they lost to New Zealand by 10 runs.
A slight edge here and there:
Both teams have shown the kind of consistency that they are not exactly known for and it is just that wee bit here and there that separates the teams.
India have a slight edge in batting because most of their batsmen have chipped in at some time or the other with Yuvraj Singh being the pick of the lot with 134 runs in four matches (he missed one match) and an astounding strike rate of 235 with a world record 36 in an over to boast of.
Openers Gautam Gambhir and Virender Sehwag have ensured steady starts with Dhoni and Yuvraj doing the accelerating job, Robin Uthappa shining in patches, Rohit Sharma showing promise and Irfan Pathan lending some balance.
Pakistan have two of the most successful batsmen in the tournament with Malik (187) and Misbah-ul-Haq (175) scoring a heap of runs but which also suggests an over-dependence on these two.
Their third most successful batsman, the experienced Younis Khan has scored 103 thus far, not anywhere near the aggregates of Gambhir (152), Dhoni (148), Yuvraj (134) or Sehwag (133).
Cautious captains:
However, Dhoni said he did not believe in going by statistics, nor did he see any relevance of the past record of world level events in which Pakistan have never prevailed.
"Any batsman that gets set can be dangerous and any bowler who strikes rhythm can trouble you," he said on the eve of the match.
On the other hand, Pakistan have an edge in their bowling with Shahid Afridi (12 wickets), Umar Gul (10) and Mohammad Asif (nine) all showing superb abilities while India have generally struggled with their fifth bowler except for the Aussie outing.
Malik was wary of the Indian bowling and worried about India's batting.
"RP Singh and Sreesanth have been bowling well while Yuvraj's batting form is a worry for us. I have never seen him bat like he is doing right now," he said.
Friendlier turf for batting:
The pitch here is not likely to be as seamer-friendly as the one in Durban. One will have to wait and see to whose advantage that it eventually turns out to be.
India's bowlers did well because they used the windy conditions well while their batsmen may find it less disconcerting to take on a spicy Pakistan pace combination.
The average run-rate at the Wanderers has been 8.72 per over so far in the championship.
cricketnext.com
Sun goes on the blink on TV sets in Tamil Nadu
Monday September 24, 02:21 AM
The channel war between the powerful Sun TV Group, controlled by the Maran brothers, and the Kalaignar TV, launched with the blessings of Chief Minister and DMK chief M Karunanidhi, is taking an ugly turn. Since Friday, there have been reports that viewers at many places, including Chennai, have been deprived of the popular Sun TV channels.
The cable TV operators, particularly those backing Kalaignar TV, raised the war cry after a full-page advertisement appeared on Friday in the local newspapers about the Sun TV Group's Direct-to-Home service. Sun Direct is offering 75 television channels, besides 15 radio stations, for just Rs 75 as monthly fee.
Former Union Minister Dayanidhi Maran, who has now assumed responsibility as Chief Executive Officer of the family-owned Dinakaran, told The Indian Express that "certain people who want to promote their own channel (read promoters of Kalaignar TV)" were behind the "harassment" and were instigating operators.
A virtual riot broke out in Chennai and some districts of Tamil Nadu, with cable TV operators setting fire to the copies of the Sun TV advertisement. The operators insist that the monthly fee being charged by the DTH was "too low" and would affect their revenue. They claim it is "stifling" the last mile cable operators. Representatives of Tamizhaga Cable TV Operators' General Welfare Association (TCOA), comprising last mile operators, threatened to black out Sun channels and launch their own control room networks by snapping business links with Sumangali Cable Vision, the multi system operator run by Sun network. The operators have threatened a state-wide fast on Monday to urge the Government to initiate action against the Sun TV Group for "misleading people" about the DTH service.
The most affected was Madurai district, controlled by M K Azhagiri, the Chief Minister's son. Maran confirmed that Sun TV signals were switched off in most parts of Madurai. On Friday, police also swooped down on 50 Sun Direct DTH distributors in the district and picked them up, but have not provided any reason for their detention.
In Chennai, protesting operators went on the rampage tearing down advertisement banners put up by some distributors of Sun Direct at their offices. The advertisement invited subscribers to avail an offer before September 30, which includes a free dish antenna, a set top box and two months' subscription free. The subscriber would have to pay an installation charge of Rs 999 and a service charge of Rs 100.
Presently, the Sun TV bouquet costs a subscriber Rs 100 per month, which includes the 15 Sun TV channels and the various English news and local regional channels. "We want to give people a better option. That is why we are offering the DTH services. If we charge a monthly fee of Rs 150 as the cable TV operators are demanding, then how can our DTH be a better option?" said Maran.
Cable TV operators said they had switched off signals of the Sun bouquet from Friday in several districts including Madurai, Tirunelveli, Theni, Pudukkottai, Ramnad, Villupuram and Cuddalore. "Cable TV operators cannot operate on such a low fee. At least the Government should consider imposing a tax like it is done in Maharashtra and Uttar Pradesh," said Kayal R S Ilavarasu, the state president of Tamil Nadu Cable TV Urimaiyalargal Sangam.
Sun TV Group sources, however, said subscribers in only the Madurai region were being deprived of the Sun TV channels. They blamed cable TV operators loyal to Azhagiri for it. "We are trying to make the DTH service popular and giving subscribers more flexibility," said Maran.
In the news room too, Kalaignar TV has declared war. After its news bulletin from 1 pm to 1.30 pm, the channel telecasts a new Tamil film. It clashes with the popular news capsule of Sun TV, which begins at 1.30 pm. "We have now introduced a brief capsule which just announces the news headlines at 2 pm," said Maran.
The war is bound to turn uglier once the DMK Government-run Arasu Cable TV Corporation begins operations.
Indian Express
The channel war between the powerful Sun TV Group, controlled by the Maran brothers, and the Kalaignar TV, launched with the blessings of Chief Minister and DMK chief M Karunanidhi, is taking an ugly turn. Since Friday, there have been reports that viewers at many places, including Chennai, have been deprived of the popular Sun TV channels.
The cable TV operators, particularly those backing Kalaignar TV, raised the war cry after a full-page advertisement appeared on Friday in the local newspapers about the Sun TV Group's Direct-to-Home service. Sun Direct is offering 75 television channels, besides 15 radio stations, for just Rs 75 as monthly fee.
Former Union Minister Dayanidhi Maran, who has now assumed responsibility as Chief Executive Officer of the family-owned Dinakaran, told The Indian Express that "certain people who want to promote their own channel (read promoters of Kalaignar TV)" were behind the "harassment" and were instigating operators.
A virtual riot broke out in Chennai and some districts of Tamil Nadu, with cable TV operators setting fire to the copies of the Sun TV advertisement. The operators insist that the monthly fee being charged by the DTH was "too low" and would affect their revenue. They claim it is "stifling" the last mile cable operators. Representatives of Tamizhaga Cable TV Operators' General Welfare Association (TCOA), comprising last mile operators, threatened to black out Sun channels and launch their own control room networks by snapping business links with Sumangali Cable Vision, the multi system operator run by Sun network. The operators have threatened a state-wide fast on Monday to urge the Government to initiate action against the Sun TV Group for "misleading people" about the DTH service.
The most affected was Madurai district, controlled by M K Azhagiri, the Chief Minister's son. Maran confirmed that Sun TV signals were switched off in most parts of Madurai. On Friday, police also swooped down on 50 Sun Direct DTH distributors in the district and picked them up, but have not provided any reason for their detention.
In Chennai, protesting operators went on the rampage tearing down advertisement banners put up by some distributors of Sun Direct at their offices. The advertisement invited subscribers to avail an offer before September 30, which includes a free dish antenna, a set top box and two months' subscription free. The subscriber would have to pay an installation charge of Rs 999 and a service charge of Rs 100.
Presently, the Sun TV bouquet costs a subscriber Rs 100 per month, which includes the 15 Sun TV channels and the various English news and local regional channels. "We want to give people a better option. That is why we are offering the DTH services. If we charge a monthly fee of Rs 150 as the cable TV operators are demanding, then how can our DTH be a better option?" said Maran.
Cable TV operators said they had switched off signals of the Sun bouquet from Friday in several districts including Madurai, Tirunelveli, Theni, Pudukkottai, Ramnad, Villupuram and Cuddalore. "Cable TV operators cannot operate on such a low fee. At least the Government should consider imposing a tax like it is done in Maharashtra and Uttar Pradesh," said Kayal R S Ilavarasu, the state president of Tamil Nadu Cable TV Urimaiyalargal Sangam.
Sun TV Group sources, however, said subscribers in only the Madurai region were being deprived of the Sun TV channels. They blamed cable TV operators loyal to Azhagiri for it. "We are trying to make the DTH service popular and giving subscribers more flexibility," said Maran.
In the news room too, Kalaignar TV has declared war. After its news bulletin from 1 pm to 1.30 pm, the channel telecasts a new Tamil film. It clashes with the popular news capsule of Sun TV, which begins at 1.30 pm. "We have now introduced a brief capsule which just announces the news headlines at 2 pm," said Maran.
The war is bound to turn uglier once the DMK Government-run Arasu Cable TV Corporation begins operations.
Indian Express
Sunday, September 23, 2007
More sardar jokes!!!!!!!!!!
Sardarji on KBC 2
Amitabh : apka 13th question 25 lakh yeh raha apke samne..
Contestant Sardar is tensed.
Amitabh : Who is the father of Abhishek Bachan?
Computer Screen:
A. Amitabh Bachan B. Laloo Prasad Yadav
C. Moh. Azhar D. General Perverz Musharaff.
Amitabh : Apka kya jawab hai ?
(He is quite sure that Sardar will opt for A)
But Sardar is still confused.
Amitabh : Apke pas do life line hai..(50:50 and phone a friend)
Sardar: I think it is A but am not sure.
Amitabh : Not sure... Hmmm Ap kya karna chahenge?
Sardar : I would like to use 50:50?
Amitabh: Ok computer , 2 galat javabo ko mita de..
Computer after deleting two names, leaves two options which are: -
B. Laloo Prasad Yadav.
C. Moh. Azhar.
Amitabh is confused and tensed thinks how come the computer has made this mistake But as is said in bollywood the show must go on. Now Sardar is even more confused.
Sardar: I would like to use the last life line phone a friend..
Amitabh : Ap kisko phone karna chahenge?
Sardar : Mein Jaya Bachan ji ko phone karna chahoonga.
Amitabh Bachchan Shocked !!! But the Call gets connected to Jaya Bachchan
Santa Singh: "Jayaji, Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan!?"
Receiving reply from JAYA, Amitabh Bachan faints..
GUESS WHY?
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Jaya Bachchan ask's him "What are the options?"
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Once a Sadarji came home with his left forehead bleeding his wife asked him what had happened.
He replied "there was a nail in the window of the bus that pricked me each time the bus jerked", his wife said "then y didn’t u exchanged your seat with some other passengers, that did not know about the nail!
Sadarji replied "How can I exchange my seat when there were no other passengers in the bus other than me".
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When Santa came home, his wife, Jeeto, was crying.
"Your mother insulted me," Jeeto sobbed.
"My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation on the other side of the country?" Santa asked.
"I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious."
"And?"
"At the end of the letter it said, 'Dear Jeeto, when you have finished reading this letter, don't forget to give it to my son.'"
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Sardars entry in the heaven
A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate DharamRaj told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are in a year?
The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
DharamRaj said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"
The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."
DharamRaj lets him in without another word.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
A: Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My Mobile No. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
There was this news that 200 sardars are killed in a train accident at the station. Only one Sardar left alive.
The correspondent goes to the Sardarji and the conversation between them goes as follows: Correspondent: How did this happen?
Sardarji: Well, all the 200 people were waiting for the train. They were standing on the platform. Then there was this announcement that the train is arriving on platform number 2. They got scared to know that the train is arriving on the platform and hence they jumped onto the tracks to save themselves, The announcement was misleading the train arrived on the track and you can see the result.
Correspondent: Well, I guess, you must be the intelligent Sardarji. Why did you not jump onto the tracks?
Sardarji: I was actually trying to commit suicide. I was waiting for the train on the tracks. When I heard that the train is arriving on the platform, I climbed up
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardarji went to US to live with his brother. Sardarji's Brother owns an apple shop in US.
One day he asked his brother to stay at the shop because he had to go somewhere.
He asked his brother if somebody comes to shop and ask for the apple's price, tell them $2 a pound. If somebody questions whether these apples are sweet or sour, tell them some are sweet and some are not. If some body says I do not want to buy, tell them somebody else will buy.
Now the sardarji was ready to sell the apples.
A lady comes and asks sardarji, Do you know what time it is ? Sardarji replied $2 a pound.
Lady said; all sardarji's are idiot and fools.
Sardarji replied, some are some are not.
Lady got frustrated and said, I will take you to police station.
Sardarji replied, if you will not take me some body else will".
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thats all today!!!!!
Amitabh : apka 13th question 25 lakh yeh raha apke samne..
Contestant Sardar is tensed.
Amitabh : Who is the father of Abhishek Bachan?
Computer Screen:
A. Amitabh Bachan B. Laloo Prasad Yadav
C. Moh. Azhar D. General Perverz Musharaff.
Amitabh : Apka kya jawab hai ?
(He is quite sure that Sardar will opt for A)
But Sardar is still confused.
Amitabh : Apke pas do life line hai..(50:50 and phone a friend)
Sardar: I think it is A but am not sure.
Amitabh : Not sure... Hmmm Ap kya karna chahenge?
Sardar : I would like to use 50:50?
Amitabh: Ok computer , 2 galat javabo ko mita de..
Computer after deleting two names, leaves two options which are: -
B. Laloo Prasad Yadav.
C. Moh. Azhar.
Amitabh is confused and tensed thinks how come the computer has made this mistake But as is said in bollywood the show must go on. Now Sardar is even more confused.
Sardar: I would like to use the last life line phone a friend..
Amitabh : Ap kisko phone karna chahenge?
Sardar : Mein Jaya Bachan ji ko phone karna chahoonga.
Amitabh Bachchan Shocked !!! But the Call gets connected to Jaya Bachchan
Santa Singh: "Jayaji, Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan!?"
Receiving reply from JAYA, Amitabh Bachan faints..
GUESS WHY?
Scroll Down
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Jaya Bachchan ask's him "What are the options?"
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Once a Sadarji came home with his left forehead bleeding his wife asked him what had happened.
He replied "there was a nail in the window of the bus that pricked me each time the bus jerked", his wife said "then y didn’t u exchanged your seat with some other passengers, that did not know about the nail!
Sadarji replied "How can I exchange my seat when there were no other passengers in the bus other than me".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When Santa came home, his wife, Jeeto, was crying.
"Your mother insulted me," Jeeto sobbed.
"My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation on the other side of the country?" Santa asked.
"I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious."
"And?"
"At the end of the letter it said, 'Dear Jeeto, when you have finished reading this letter, don't forget to give it to my son.'"
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Sardars entry in the heaven
A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate DharamRaj told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are in a year?
The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
DharamRaj said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"
The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."
DharamRaj lets him in without another word.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
A: Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My Mobile No. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
There was this news that 200 sardars are killed in a train accident at the station. Only one Sardar left alive.
The correspondent goes to the Sardarji and the conversation between them goes as follows: Correspondent: How did this happen?
Sardarji: Well, all the 200 people were waiting for the train. They were standing on the platform. Then there was this announcement that the train is arriving on platform number 2. They got scared to know that the train is arriving on the platform and hence they jumped onto the tracks to save themselves, The announcement was misleading the train arrived on the track and you can see the result.
Correspondent: Well, I guess, you must be the intelligent Sardarji. Why did you not jump onto the tracks?
Sardarji: I was actually trying to commit suicide. I was waiting for the train on the tracks. When I heard that the train is arriving on the platform, I climbed up
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardarji went to US to live with his brother. Sardarji's Brother owns an apple shop in US.
One day he asked his brother to stay at the shop because he had to go somewhere.
He asked his brother if somebody comes to shop and ask for the apple's price, tell them $2 a pound. If somebody questions whether these apples are sweet or sour, tell them some are sweet and some are not. If some body says I do not want to buy, tell them somebody else will buy.
Now the sardarji was ready to sell the apples.
A lady comes and asks sardarji, Do you know what time it is ? Sardarji replied $2 a pound.
Lady said; all sardarji's are idiot and fools.
Sardarji replied, some are some are not.
Lady got frustrated and said, I will take you to police station.
Sardarji replied, if you will not take me some body else will".
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thats all today!!!!!
Instant Payasam
Ingredients: 1/2 litre milk
100 gm rice - broken rice
100 gm sugar
cardamom powder-1 tea spoon
Method: Take a stainless steel vessel that will fit in a pressure cooker.
Mix all the above ingredients in the steel container and Close the container with a plate. Pressure cook it.
Keep the flame in high till the first whistle comes, then reduce it to min and allow it to cook for 15 mins. Payasam is ready to be served.Garnish with cashews and pista.
100 gm rice - broken rice
100 gm sugar
cardamom powder-1 tea spoon
Method: Take a stainless steel vessel that will fit in a pressure cooker.
Mix all the above ingredients in the steel container and Close the container with a plate. Pressure cook it.
Keep the flame in high till the first whistle comes, then reduce it to min and allow it to cook for 15 mins. Payasam is ready to be served.Garnish with cashews and pista.
Prashant Tamang is new Indian Idol
New Delhi: The months turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into days and then, it was all a matter of hours. Pranshant Tamang took on Shillong's Amit Paul to be the third Indian Idol on Sunday night.
Minutes before the grand finale of the talent hunt contest Indian Idol began in the Capital on Sunday, fans rooted for their favourites.
But the judges were clear they wanted to see Amit Paul as the new idol.
“I would have preferred Amit Paul,” said lyricist and one of the judges of Indian Idol, Javed Akhtar.
Playback singer and an Indian Idol judge, Alisha Chinai agreed with Javed Akhtar in the choice of the winner. “Amit Paul,” the singer said.
However, Playback singer and also a judge of the talent hunt contest, said, “Both are equally talented and are winners.”
But the people's verdict was different from that of the judges. Prashant Tamang, a constable in the West Bengal Police, was declared the winner Indian Idol after he pipped his rival Amit Paul in a grand finale.
The decision was swayed by over seven crore votes - sent by people from all over the country - to select India's next singing sensation.
So after a well and truly hard fought battle, it was Prashant Tamang - the underdog - the boy from Darjeeling, who was crowned Indian Idol.
The crown brings with it a lot of perks including a winner’s booty of Rs 1 crore, a year's contract with Sony and a Maruti SX-4.
“I am very happy that I am the Indian Idol today. I always dreamt I will be very famous,” said Prashant.
“He is a very nice guy. I am very happy that he is the Indian Idol,” said Amit Paul.
And as the teary-eyed 24-year-old Tamang thanked his mother and the police force for allowing him to participate in the contest, the hills of his hometown Darjeeling echoed with sounds of jubilation.
ibnlive.com
Minutes before the grand finale of the talent hunt contest Indian Idol began in the Capital on Sunday, fans rooted for their favourites.
But the judges were clear they wanted to see Amit Paul as the new idol.
“I would have preferred Amit Paul,” said lyricist and one of the judges of Indian Idol, Javed Akhtar.
Playback singer and an Indian Idol judge, Alisha Chinai agreed with Javed Akhtar in the choice of the winner. “Amit Paul,” the singer said.
However, Playback singer and also a judge of the talent hunt contest, said, “Both are equally talented and are winners.”
But the people's verdict was different from that of the judges. Prashant Tamang, a constable in the West Bengal Police, was declared the winner Indian Idol after he pipped his rival Amit Paul in a grand finale.
The decision was swayed by over seven crore votes - sent by people from all over the country - to select India's next singing sensation.
So after a well and truly hard fought battle, it was Prashant Tamang - the underdog - the boy from Darjeeling, who was crowned Indian Idol.
The crown brings with it a lot of perks including a winner’s booty of Rs 1 crore, a year's contract with Sony and a Maruti SX-4.
“I am very happy that I am the Indian Idol today. I always dreamt I will be very famous,” said Prashant.
“He is a very nice guy. I am very happy that he is the Indian Idol,” said Amit Paul.
And as the teary-eyed 24-year-old Tamang thanked his mother and the police force for allowing him to participate in the contest, the hills of his hometown Darjeeling echoed with sounds of jubilation.
ibnlive.com
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