Conversation between Bill Gates and our very own Laloo of Bihar
Gates : Namaskar! you must have heard of Windows.
Laloo : Oh yes! most govt. offices we have the single window clearance
concept.
Gates : At home have u installed Windows?
Laloo : I have removed all windows due to increased burgalaries in our
house.
Gates(Confused) : Then what is the system you operate on?
Laloo : OPERATION? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month.
Gates(Sweating) : Hope the internet is being used a lot in India.
Laloo: Oh Yes! Due to increased mosquito problems many people are sleeping under the net.
Gates: India should export computer chips.
Laloo: We are already exporting Uncle Chips.
Gates(Feeling very Uneasy): do you regularly use LapTops?
Laloo: My grand-child sleeps on the top of my lap.
Gates(Heavily Sweating): The Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh knows a lot about RAM and ROM.
Laloo : RUM? Prohibition is being lifted and it will be shortly available in A.P..
Gates(Feeling Dizzy): I would like to take your leave before my system crashes.
Laloo: I have exhuasted all my leave.
Gates: I have no energy left, let us go out and have a bite.
Laloo: BITE? I believe in non-violence. I will not bite.
Gates: (System Crashes and Found Missing).
"Windows is restarting.Please wait........ ....."
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Mr.Intelligent
A Sardar is invited to tea with President Abdul Kalam.
He asks President Kalam what his leadership philosophy is.
He says that, it is to surround himself with intelligent people.sardar asks how he knows if they're intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says President Kalam.
"Allow me to demonstrate. Sardar watches as President Kalam phones Manmohan Singh, the Indian Prime Minister and says,
"Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister.
Who is it?"
Manmohan immediately responds,
"It's me, Sir !"
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says Kalam.
He hangs up and says,
"Did you get that, Mr. Sardar?"
Sardar nods:
"Yes Mr. President.
Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that. Sardar upon returning to his house , decides he'd better put his brother to the test.
Sardar says,
"brother, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, Bayya. What's on your mind?"
Sardar poses the question:
"Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister.
Who is it?" ;The brother was puzzled and finally asks,
"Can I think about it and get back to you?"
Sardar agrees, and his brother leaves.
Sardar's brother immediately calls his other brothers,and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer.
Finally, in desperation, sardar's brother calls his aunt simran and explains the problem.
"Aunt simran, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Simran answers immediately,
"It's me, of course."
Much relieved, brother rushes back to the elder sardars house, and exclaims,
"I know the answer, Bayya!
I know, who it is!
It's simran!"
And sardar replies in disgust,
"Wrong, its Manmohan Singh!"
He asks President Kalam what his leadership philosophy is.
He says that, it is to surround himself with intelligent people.sardar asks how he knows if they're intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says President Kalam.
"Allow me to demonstrate. Sardar watches as President Kalam phones Manmohan Singh, the Indian Prime Minister and says,
"Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister.
Who is it?"
Manmohan immediately responds,
"It's me, Sir !"
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says Kalam.
He hangs up and says,
"Did you get that, Mr. Sardar?"
Sardar nods:
"Yes Mr. President.
Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that. Sardar upon returning to his house , decides he'd better put his brother to the test.
Sardar says,
"brother, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, Bayya. What's on your mind?"
Sardar poses the question:
"Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister.
Who is it?" ;The brother was puzzled and finally asks,
"Can I think about it and get back to you?"
Sardar agrees, and his brother leaves.
Sardar's brother immediately calls his other brothers,and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer.
Finally, in desperation, sardar's brother calls his aunt simran and explains the problem.
"Aunt simran, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Simran answers immediately,
"It's me, of course."
Much relieved, brother rushes back to the elder sardars house, and exclaims,
"I know the answer, Bayya!
I know, who it is!
It's simran!"
And sardar replies in disgust,
"Wrong, its Manmohan Singh!"
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Chak de india ippodhu tamilil....!!!!!!!
சமீபத்தில் நான் பார்த்து ரசித்த படம் சக் தே இந்தியா. தரமான படம். ஷாருக்கான் என்ற அற்புதமான நடிகன் எப்படி மற்ற படங்களில் வீணடிக்கப்படுகிறான் என்பதற்கு இந்த படம் நல்ல உதாரணம். இது போல ஒரு படம் ஏன் தமிழில் வருவதில்லை என்று விவாதித்தோம். அப்போது வேடிக்கையாக நம் தமிழ் நடிகர்கள் இந்த மாதிரி படத்தில் நடித்தால் கதை எப்படி இருக்கும் என்று யோசித்தோம். அதை தான் இப்போது இங்கே பகிர்ந்துகொள்ள போகிறேன்.
கேப்டன் புரட்சிக்கலைஞர் விஜயகாந்த்: நம் கேப்டன் இந்த படத்தில் நடித்திருந்தால், 16 பெண்களுக்கும் ஹாக்கி மட்டை பதில், ஏகே 47 துப்பாக்கி பயிற்சி கொடுத்திருப்பார். பின்பு அனைவருடன் ஒரு டூயட் பாடி முடித்து, நம் நாட்டை பற்றி விலாவரியாக statistics சொல்லி முடித்து, எல்லாரையும் கூப்பிட்டு போய் காஷ்மீரில் baakistaan தீவரவாதிகிளுடன் சண்டை போடுவார். படத்தில் இவரோட பன்ச் லைன் "penalty தமில்ல எனக்கு பிடிக்காத வார்த்த.." படத்திற்கு அட்டகாசமாக "சுக்கு டா இந்தியா" என்று பெயர் வைத்திருப்பார். சன் டிவியில், கால் மேல் கால் போட்டுகொண்டு "சுக்கு டா இந்தியா...காரம் இல்லை" என்று விமர்சனம் செய்வார்கள்.
கமல்ஹாசன்: 16 பெண்களில், பத்து கெட்டப்பை அவரே போட்டிருப்பார். கோச்சாக 'நம்மவர்' தாடி வைத்துகொண்டு வந்திருப்பார். அவருடைய ·ப்ளாஷ்பேக்கை ஒருவர் பாகிஸ்தானிடம் அவர் பெட்டி வாங்கிக்கொண்டு இந்தியாவுக்கு துரோகம் செய்துவிட்டார் என்று வில்லன் ரேஞ்சுக்கு சொல்லுவார், ஆனால் அவரோ அதெ ·ப்ளாஷ்பேக் காட்சியை கேமிரா அங்கிளை மாற்றி வேறு மாதிரி சொல்லி அவர் நிரபராதி என்று நிரூபிப்பார்.
சூப்பர்ஸ்டார்: தலைவரை 16 பெண்களும் ஒருதலையாக காதலிப்பார்கள், தலைவரின் பெற்றோர்கள் அந்த பதினாறில் ஒன்றை செலக்ட் செய்ய சொல்லுவார்கள், ஆனால் தலைவரோ தனக்கு 'தமிழ் கலாச்சாரதோட ஒரு பெண் தான் வேண்டும்' என்று சொல்லி, ஹாக்கி ஸ்டேடியம் கூட்டிகொண்டிருக்கும் பெண்ணை டாவடிப்பார். வில்லன் ஹாக்கி மேட்சை fix செய்யும் ப்ரோக்கராக வருவார். அவர் தலைவரிடம் தோற்றுபோக சொல்ல, தலைவரோ மாட்டேன் என்று சொல்ல, வில்லன் வில்லத்தனம் செய்து தலைவரை பாகிஸ்தான் கையாள் என்று முத்திரை குற்றி விடுவான். தலைவர் பிறகு ஹாக்கி மேட்சில் புரளும் பெட்டிங் பணத்தை எல்லாம் வில்லன்களிடம் வெளியே கொண்டு வந்து, ஊருக்கு ஊர் ஹாக்கி ஸ்டேடியம் கட்டுவார். படத்தின் பெயர் "சிவாஜி the coach". படத்தில் இவரோட பன்ச் லைன் "goalஅ போட்டாலே ச்சும்மா அதிருதுல்ல..."
விக்ரம்: 'நான் கோச் இல்ல...பொறுக்கி' இது தான் படத்தில் இவரோட பஞ்ச் லைன். ரேய்மண்ட் க்ளாஸ் போட்டுக்கொண்டு முறுக்காக 16 பெண்களுக்கும் கோச் கொடுப்பார். அதில் ஒரு மாமி ·பிகரை மட்டும் காதலிப்பார். இங்கேயும் வில்லன் மேட்ச் ·பிக்ஸிங் பார்ட்டி. வில்லன் லஞ்சம் கொடுக்க, அதை வாங்கிக்கொள்வார், க்ளைமாக்சில் தான் அந்த பணத்தையெல்லாம் பிரதமர் ஹாக்கி நிதிக்கு அவர் கொடுத்தது தெரியும்.
சிம்பு: தம்பி சிம்புவை ஹாக்கி ஆடும் பெண் ஒருத்தி ஏமாற்றிவிட, அதற்கு பழிவாங்க அண்ணன் சிம்பு கோச்சாக பொய் சொல்லிக்கொண்டு 16 பெண்களையும் ஏமாற்றுவார். அடிக்கடி "யார் முதல்ல கோல் போடுறாங்கன்னு முக்கியம் இல்ல..கடைசில் யார் நிறைய கோல் போடுறாங்கன்னு தான் முக்கியம்.." என்று விரலை மடக்கி மடக்கி சொல்லுவார்.
_netil suttadhu!
கேப்டன் புரட்சிக்கலைஞர் விஜயகாந்த்: நம் கேப்டன் இந்த படத்தில் நடித்திருந்தால், 16 பெண்களுக்கும் ஹாக்கி மட்டை பதில், ஏகே 47 துப்பாக்கி பயிற்சி கொடுத்திருப்பார். பின்பு அனைவருடன் ஒரு டூயட் பாடி முடித்து, நம் நாட்டை பற்றி விலாவரியாக statistics சொல்லி முடித்து, எல்லாரையும் கூப்பிட்டு போய் காஷ்மீரில் baakistaan தீவரவாதிகிளுடன் சண்டை போடுவார். படத்தில் இவரோட பன்ச் லைன் "penalty தமில்ல எனக்கு பிடிக்காத வார்த்த.." படத்திற்கு அட்டகாசமாக "சுக்கு டா இந்தியா" என்று பெயர் வைத்திருப்பார். சன் டிவியில், கால் மேல் கால் போட்டுகொண்டு "சுக்கு டா இந்தியா...காரம் இல்லை" என்று விமர்சனம் செய்வார்கள்.
கமல்ஹாசன்: 16 பெண்களில், பத்து கெட்டப்பை அவரே போட்டிருப்பார். கோச்சாக 'நம்மவர்' தாடி வைத்துகொண்டு வந்திருப்பார். அவருடைய ·ப்ளாஷ்பேக்கை ஒருவர் பாகிஸ்தானிடம் அவர் பெட்டி வாங்கிக்கொண்டு இந்தியாவுக்கு துரோகம் செய்துவிட்டார் என்று வில்லன் ரேஞ்சுக்கு சொல்லுவார், ஆனால் அவரோ அதெ ·ப்ளாஷ்பேக் காட்சியை கேமிரா அங்கிளை மாற்றி வேறு மாதிரி சொல்லி அவர் நிரபராதி என்று நிரூபிப்பார்.
சூப்பர்ஸ்டார்: தலைவரை 16 பெண்களும் ஒருதலையாக காதலிப்பார்கள், தலைவரின் பெற்றோர்கள் அந்த பதினாறில் ஒன்றை செலக்ட் செய்ய சொல்லுவார்கள், ஆனால் தலைவரோ தனக்கு 'தமிழ் கலாச்சாரதோட ஒரு பெண் தான் வேண்டும்' என்று சொல்லி, ஹாக்கி ஸ்டேடியம் கூட்டிகொண்டிருக்கும் பெண்ணை டாவடிப்பார். வில்லன் ஹாக்கி மேட்சை fix செய்யும் ப்ரோக்கராக வருவார். அவர் தலைவரிடம் தோற்றுபோக சொல்ல, தலைவரோ மாட்டேன் என்று சொல்ல, வில்லன் வில்லத்தனம் செய்து தலைவரை பாகிஸ்தான் கையாள் என்று முத்திரை குற்றி விடுவான். தலைவர் பிறகு ஹாக்கி மேட்சில் புரளும் பெட்டிங் பணத்தை எல்லாம் வில்லன்களிடம் வெளியே கொண்டு வந்து, ஊருக்கு ஊர் ஹாக்கி ஸ்டேடியம் கட்டுவார். படத்தின் பெயர் "சிவாஜி the coach". படத்தில் இவரோட பன்ச் லைன் "goalஅ போட்டாலே ச்சும்மா அதிருதுல்ல..."
விக்ரம்: 'நான் கோச் இல்ல...பொறுக்கி' இது தான் படத்தில் இவரோட பஞ்ச் லைன். ரேய்மண்ட் க்ளாஸ் போட்டுக்கொண்டு முறுக்காக 16 பெண்களுக்கும் கோச் கொடுப்பார். அதில் ஒரு மாமி ·பிகரை மட்டும் காதலிப்பார். இங்கேயும் வில்லன் மேட்ச் ·பிக்ஸிங் பார்ட்டி. வில்லன் லஞ்சம் கொடுக்க, அதை வாங்கிக்கொள்வார், க்ளைமாக்சில் தான் அந்த பணத்தையெல்லாம் பிரதமர் ஹாக்கி நிதிக்கு அவர் கொடுத்தது தெரியும்.
சிம்பு: தம்பி சிம்புவை ஹாக்கி ஆடும் பெண் ஒருத்தி ஏமாற்றிவிட, அதற்கு பழிவாங்க அண்ணன் சிம்பு கோச்சாக பொய் சொல்லிக்கொண்டு 16 பெண்களையும் ஏமாற்றுவார். அடிக்கடி "யார் முதல்ல கோல் போடுறாங்கன்னு முக்கியம் இல்ல..கடைசில் யார் நிறைய கோல் போடுறாங்கன்னு தான் முக்கியம்.." என்று விரலை மடக்கி மடக்கி சொல்லுவார்.
_netil suttadhu!
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Lion's Onsite Experience
In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day.
The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US Zoo.
The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also.
On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast.
The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few bananas.
Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.
The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.
The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, 'Don't you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with your management?, what nonsense is this?, why are you delivering bananas to me?'
The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle but ... did you know that you have been brought here on a monkey's visa!!!
The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US Zoo.
The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also.
On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast.
The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few bananas.
Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.
The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.
The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, 'Don't you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with your management?, what nonsense is this?, why are you delivering bananas to me?'
The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle but ... did you know that you have been brought here on a monkey's visa!!!
Study Computer in 30 days namba chennaiyila!!!!
>> >File = failu
>> >Save = kaapathu
>> >Save as = Aiyye, ipdi kaapathu
>> >Save All = alaathaium kaapathu
>> >Help = udhvu
>> >Find = thedu
>> >Find Again = inoru thaba thedu
>> >Move = jaga vaangu
>> >Mail = postu
>> >Mailer = posttuman
>> >Zoom = persa kaattu
>> >Zoom Out = velilavanthu persa kaattu
>> >Open = thera naina
>> >Close = pothiko
>> >New = pucchu
>> >Old = palsu
>> >Replace = itha thooki athle, athe thooki ithle podu
>> >
>> >Run = odu naina
>> >Execute = kollu
>> >Print = achu adi
>> >Print Preview = paathu achu adi
>> >Cut = vetu - kuthu
>> >Copy
= Eaduchan kaapi
>> >Paste = ottu
>> >Paste Special = nalla echcha thottu ottu
>> >Delete = keesidu
>> >View = look-vudu
>> >Tools = spannaru
>> >Toolsbar = spanner setu
>> >Spreadsheet = verisheetu
>> >Database = Dappaa
>> >Exit = odra dei
>> >Compress = amuki-podu
>> >Mouse = eili
>> >Click = Poto satham
>> >Scrollbar = inge angae alathadi
>> >Pay Per View = dhudukku bayascoppu
>> >Next = appaala
>> >Previous = munaagati
>> >Trash bin = koovam nadhi
>> >Solitaire = mangaatha
>> >Drag & hold = nallaa isthu pudi
>> >Double click = rendu dhabaa
>> >Do you want to delete selected item? = Maiyalume
>> >thukirava?
>>
>Do you want to move selected item? = Maiyalume
>> >kadasidava?
>> >Do you want to save selected item? = Maiyalume
>> >vachukkava?
>> >Abort, Retry, Ignore = Ishtam illati uttudu
>> >Yes,No,Cancel = ippa innaa sollikeere nee
>> >General protection fault = Gaali
>> >Access denied = Kai veche keesiduven
>> > Unrecoverable error = Bada bejarpa
Avolo thaanunga!!!
>> >Save = kaapathu
>> >Save as = Aiyye, ipdi kaapathu
>> >Save All = alaathaium kaapathu
>> >Help = udhvu
>> >Find = thedu
>> >Find Again = inoru thaba thedu
>> >Move = jaga vaangu
>> >Mail = postu
>> >Mailer = posttuman
>> >Zoom = persa kaattu
>> >Zoom Out = velilavanthu persa kaattu
>> >Open = thera naina
>> >Close = pothiko
>> >New = pucchu
>> >Old = palsu
>> >Replace = itha thooki athle, athe thooki ithle podu
>> >
>> >Run = odu naina
>> >Execute = kollu
>> >Print = achu adi
>> >Print Preview = paathu achu adi
>> >Cut = vetu - kuthu
>> >Copy
= Eaduchan kaapi
>> >Paste = ottu
>> >Paste Special = nalla echcha thottu ottu
>> >Delete = keesidu
>> >View = look-vudu
>> >Tools = spannaru
>> >Toolsbar = spanner setu
>> >Spreadsheet = verisheetu
>> >Database = Dappaa
>> >Exit = odra dei
>> >Compress = amuki-podu
>> >Mouse = eili
>> >Click = Poto satham
>> >Scrollbar = inge angae alathadi
>> >Pay Per View = dhudukku bayascoppu
>> >Next = appaala
>> >Previous = munaagati
>> >Trash bin = koovam nadhi
>> >Solitaire = mangaatha
>> >Drag & hold = nallaa isthu pudi
>> >Double click = rendu dhabaa
>> >Do you want to delete selected item? = Maiyalume
>> >thukirava?
>>
>Do you want to move selected item? = Maiyalume
>> >kadasidava?
>> >Do you want to save selected item? = Maiyalume
>> >vachukkava?
>> >Abort, Retry, Ignore = Ishtam illati uttudu
>> >Yes,No,Cancel = ippa innaa sollikeere nee
>> >General protection fault = Gaali
>> >Access denied = Kai veche keesiduven
>> > Unrecoverable error = Bada bejarpa
Avolo thaanunga!!!
Reason Why Never a 5* Hotel
Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"
Answer: "tea please"
Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "
Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?"
Answer: "white"
Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?"
Answer: "With milk "
Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"
Answer: "With cow milk please.
Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "
Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar"
Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "
Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"
Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."
Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "
Answer: "Mineral water"
Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst
Answer: "tea please"
Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "
Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?"
Answer: "white"
Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?"
Answer: "With milk "
Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"
Answer: "With cow milk please.
Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "
Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar"
Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "
Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"
Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."
Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "
Answer: "Mineral water"
Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst
Vetti paya mavaney Vetti paya mavaney(Sutrum vizhi sudare mettula paadanunga)
Vetti paya mavaney Vetti paya mavaney
Vettiya nee oorai suthadhey!
Sattai payyil dhambadi kaasukooda illama Koottam katti vambu pesadhey!
Netru endhan kanavil, ottai thattai yendhiye Pichai ketka soppanam
kandane! Nee vandhu Pichai ketka soppanam kandane!
(Vetti paya mavaney)
Thinnayil unnai kandane Rummyil unnai kandane Kallukkadai benchil unnai
kandane!
Somberigal kootam pottaal,
Nee adhil thalaivan endru
Indru dhaney naanum kandu kondane!
Bladeugalil mokkai blade
Unnidmdhan naan kandane - une vaarthai
Bladeai kollum blade enbane!
(Vetti paya mavaney)
Marangothi paravai ondru Sevikkuley ponadhendru Udal mudhal uyir varai
nondhane!
Theeyindri thiriyumindri ennudal eriyumendru Une pechai kettunarndhu
kondane!
Mazhai azhaga? Veyyil azhaga?
Neeyirundhaal yedhu azhagu? Nee ooril,
Illavittaal rendum azhagu!(vettipaya...)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-netil suttadhu!!!!!
Vettiya nee oorai suthadhey!
Sattai payyil dhambadi kaasukooda illama Koottam katti vambu pesadhey!
Netru endhan kanavil, ottai thattai yendhiye Pichai ketka soppanam
kandane! Nee vandhu Pichai ketka soppanam kandane!
(Vetti paya mavaney)
Thinnayil unnai kandane Rummyil unnai kandane Kallukkadai benchil unnai
kandane!
Somberigal kootam pottaal,
Nee adhil thalaivan endru
Indru dhaney naanum kandu kondane!
Bladeugalil mokkai blade
Unnidmdhan naan kandane - une vaarthai
Bladeai kollum blade enbane!
(Vetti paya mavaney)
Marangothi paravai ondru Sevikkuley ponadhendru Udal mudhal uyir varai
nondhane!
Theeyindri thiriyumindri ennudal eriyumendru Une pechai kettunarndhu
kondane!
Mazhai azhaga? Veyyil azhaga?
Neeyirundhaal yedhu azhagu? Nee ooril,
Illavittaal rendum azhagu!(vettipaya...)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-netil suttadhu!!!!!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
just for laugh!!!
If Sonia Gandhi became PM of India
If Sonia Gandhi becomes the Prime Minister....
10.There will be branches of Olive Garden all over India
and they will be called OZinda Bagicha!!
9. Their only vegetarian dish will be Eggplant Parmesan and
it will be called Anda-Pauda Parmeshwaran!!
8. All Vadapav Gaadis and Stalls will be selling Pizza and
Pasta.
7. India's National Sport will be - Ofcourse Soccer.
6. Laloo will lose his position as the national animal and
will be replaced by Jayalalitha!
5. National vegetable-Zucchini
4. There will be Pope John Paul's 'yearly' visit - twice
every year!!
3. Jahangir Art gallery will be renamed to "Michaelangelo's
Confetti house"!!
2. Men in Indian Army will wear Mini Skirts!!
And ...the number one thing that will happen if Sonia
Becomes the Prime Minister of India is.....
1.All Sindhi People will get promotions in their positions
because she thinks they are all ITALIANS!! (Kotwani, Multani, Vaswani
......resemble Mussolini, Gianini, Benini etc.....*Kulkarni
also have a fair chance*...)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man is on his way home from work one afternoon in Chennai. He's stopped in traffic and thinks, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual we're not even moving."
He notices a police officer walking down thehighway in between the cars and he rolls down his window and says,"Excuse me officer, what's the hold up?"
"Jayalalitha just found out the verdict, and she's all depressed. She's lying down in the middle of the highway and she's threatening to douse herself in gasoline and light herself on fire. She just doesn't have Rs.85 Crores for the tax dues. I'm walking around taking up a collection for her"
The man says,"Oh really, how much have you got so far."
"So far....ten litres."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Sonia Gandhi becomes the Prime Minister....
10.There will be branches of Olive Garden all over India
and they will be called OZinda Bagicha!!
9. Their only vegetarian dish will be Eggplant Parmesan and
it will be called Anda-Pauda Parmeshwaran!!
8. All Vadapav Gaadis and Stalls will be selling Pizza and
Pasta.
7. India's National Sport will be - Ofcourse Soccer.
6. Laloo will lose his position as the national animal and
will be replaced by Jayalalitha!
5. National vegetable-Zucchini
4. There will be Pope John Paul's 'yearly' visit - twice
every year!!
3. Jahangir Art gallery will be renamed to "Michaelangelo's
Confetti house"!!
2. Men in Indian Army will wear Mini Skirts!!
And ...the number one thing that will happen if Sonia
Becomes the Prime Minister of India is.....
1.All Sindhi People will get promotions in their positions
because she thinks they are all ITALIANS!! (Kotwani, Multani, Vaswani
......resemble Mussolini, Gianini, Benini etc.....*Kulkarni
also have a fair chance*...)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man is on his way home from work one afternoon in Chennai. He's stopped in traffic and thinks, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual we're not even moving."
He notices a police officer walking down thehighway in between the cars and he rolls down his window and says,"Excuse me officer, what's the hold up?"
"Jayalalitha just found out the verdict, and she's all depressed. She's lying down in the middle of the highway and she's threatening to douse herself in gasoline and light herself on fire. She just doesn't have Rs.85 Crores for the tax dues. I'm walking around taking up a collection for her"
The man says,"Oh really, how much have you got so far."
"So far....ten litres."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There Was Life Before the Computer
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account!
And if you had a broken disk,
It would hurt when you found out!
Compress was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile!
Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!
Cut--you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu!
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!
-netil suttadhu!!!
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account!
And if you had a broken disk,
It would hurt when you found out!
Compress was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile!
Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!
Cut--you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu!
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!
-netil suttadhu!!!
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
JOKES!!!!!!!
Different stages a man face during his life....
----------------------------------------------
Before finding a Girl.....................Superman
After finding a Girl......................Spiderman
After Engaging with a Girl................Gentleman
After Marrying a Girl.....................Watchman
5 Years after marriage ...................Doberman !!!
__________________________________________________________
Who Killed Jesus Christ?
Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask
each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer.
When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who Killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The
Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question. He replied Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was
asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow." When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How was the interview?" Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
எவ்வளவு பெரிய Advocate-டா இருந்தாலும் அவராள வாழ மீனுக்கும் விலங்கு மீனுக்கும் divorce வாங்கித்தர முடியாது
ஆயிரம் தான் இருந்தாலும் ஆயிரத்து ஒனு தான் பெருசு..
" ஈ "அடிச்சா " ஈ " சாகும் . கொசு அடிச்சா கொசு சாகும் .. Phone அடிச்சா Phone சாகுமா ?
தெங்காயிலயும் தண்ணி இருக்கு , பூமிலயும் தண்ணி இருக்கு ,ஆனா தெங்காயில Bore போட முடியுமா... இல்ல பூமிலதான் straw போட்டு தண்ணி எடுக்க முடியுமா ?? நல்லா யொசிங்க...
போகிக்கும் பொங்களுக்கும் ஒரு நாள் தான் வித்தியாசம் , ஆனா பொங்களுக்கும் போகிக்கும் ஒரு வருசம் வித்தியாசம் . என்னா உலகமாடா இது ....
T நகர்ல டீ வாஙலாம் ..... ஆனா விருதுநகர்ல விருது வாங்க முடியுமா??
சின்ன சந்தேகம் ... பஸ் Route-ல பஸ் போகும் , Train Route-ல Train போகும்,.. பீட்ருட்டுல என்ன போகும் ? இப்படி தான் புதுசு புதுசா யொசிக்கனும் ...
முதல்வரே ஆனாலும் முதல் சீட்டு Driver க்கு தான்.
தெங்காயிலிருந்து வந்தா அது தெங்கா எண்னை... கடலையிலேந்து வந்தா கடலயெண்னை ... அப்படினா விளக்குலேருந்து வரது விளக்கெண்னயா ??
உனக்கு என்னாதான் தல சுத்துனாலூம் உன்னால முதுக பாக்க முடியாது
கோலமாவுல கோலம் பொடலாம் ... ஆனா கடலை மாவுல கடலை போட முடியுமா?
நீ எவ்வளவுதான் Costly-யான Cell வச்சிருந்தாலூம் Msg-அ forward- தான் பன்ன முடியும் ... Rewind பன்ன முடியாது ..
Butter'fly fly ஆகும் ..... Catter'pillar pillar ஆகுமா?
Cycle ல போனா Cycling, Train ல போனா Training ஆ ..!!
Iron Box வச்சு Iron பண்ணலாம் ஆனா Pencil Box வச்சு Pencil பண்ண முடியுமா?
குவாட்டர் அடிச்சிட்டு குப்புற படுத்துகலாம் ! ஆனா குப்புற படுத்துகிட்டு குவாட்டர் அடிக்க முடியுமா
நாய் வால ஆட்டலாம் , ஆனா வால் நாய ஆட்ட முடியாது
Train-னுக்கு டிக்கட்டு வாங்கி platform-ல உட்காரலாம் ! ஆனா Platform டிக்கட்டு வாங்கி Train-ல உட்க்கார முடியாது
உலகம் தெரியாம வாழ்ந்தா அவன் வெகுளி ! ஆனா கிரிக்கட் தெரியாம வாழ்ந்தா அவன் GANGULY
Cycle carrirer- ல டீப்பன் வச்சூ எடுத்துட்டு போகலாம் ! ஆனா டீப்பன் carrier-ல Cycle வச்சூ எடுத்துட்டு போக முடியாது
கால்வாயில கால் வைக்க முடியும் ! ஆனா வாய்க்காலுல வாய் வைக்க முடியுமா?
பால்கோவா , பால்லிருந்து பண்ணலாம் ... ஆனா ரசகுல்லாவா ரசத்திலிருந்து பண்ண முடியுமா?
சோடாவ, fridge- ல வச்சா cooling சோடா ஆகும் ! ஆனா washing machine-ல வச்சா washing சோடா ஆகுமா ??
நெய் ரொஸ்ட்டுல நெய் இருக்கும் ! ஆனா பேப்பர் ரொஸ்ட்டுல பேப்பர் இருக்குமா?
தண்ணீர.. தண்ணினு சொல்லலாம் ஆனா , பண்ணிர பண்ணினு சொல்ல முடியுமா?
தயிர் வடையில தயிர் இருக்கும்...
உளுந்த வடையில உளுந்து இருக்கும்...
ரச வடையில கூட ரசம் இருக்கும்...
ஆனா
ஆமை வடையில ஆமை இருக்காது....
இதெல்லாம் நிங்க ஏத்துக்கலெனா... இருக்கவெ இருக்கு ..
-sutta kadi
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Top 21 things Indians do when they come back to India.....
Here are TOP 21:
21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.
20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health
conscious.
19. Sprays duo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.
18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.
17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four
Instead of Seven Zero Four)
Says "gas" instead of "petrol"
16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing
every
time he steps out.
15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and
counts
in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)
14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible
(but
deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).
13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.
12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee"
several
times, if the other person unable to
get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)
11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY,
says
"Oh! British Style!!!!"
10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.
9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".
8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.
7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.
6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is
experiencing it for the first time.
5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "Mojule".
4. Looks speciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.
Few more important
3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways
by
which he traveled back to India, even
after 4 months of arrival.
2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to
roll the bag on Indian Roads.
Ultimate one
1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was
in
US..."
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Before finding a Girl.....................Superman
After finding a Girl......................Spiderman
After Engaging with a Girl................Gentleman
After Marrying a Girl.....................Watchman
5 Years after marriage ...................Doberman !!!
__________________________________________________________
Who Killed Jesus Christ?
Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask
each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer.
When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who Killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The
Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question. He replied Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was
asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow." When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How was the interview?" Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder."
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எவ்வளவு பெரிய Advocate-டா இருந்தாலும் அவராள வாழ மீனுக்கும் விலங்கு மீனுக்கும் divorce வாங்கித்தர முடியாது
ஆயிரம் தான் இருந்தாலும் ஆயிரத்து ஒனு தான் பெருசு..
" ஈ "அடிச்சா " ஈ " சாகும் . கொசு அடிச்சா கொசு சாகும் .. Phone அடிச்சா Phone சாகுமா ?
தெங்காயிலயும் தண்ணி இருக்கு , பூமிலயும் தண்ணி இருக்கு ,ஆனா தெங்காயில Bore போட முடியுமா... இல்ல பூமிலதான் straw போட்டு தண்ணி எடுக்க முடியுமா ?? நல்லா யொசிங்க...
போகிக்கும் பொங்களுக்கும் ஒரு நாள் தான் வித்தியாசம் , ஆனா பொங்களுக்கும் போகிக்கும் ஒரு வருசம் வித்தியாசம் . என்னா உலகமாடா இது ....
T நகர்ல டீ வாஙலாம் ..... ஆனா விருதுநகர்ல விருது வாங்க முடியுமா??
சின்ன சந்தேகம் ... பஸ் Route-ல பஸ் போகும் , Train Route-ல Train போகும்,.. பீட்ருட்டுல என்ன போகும் ? இப்படி தான் புதுசு புதுசா யொசிக்கனும் ...
முதல்வரே ஆனாலும் முதல் சீட்டு Driver க்கு தான்.
தெங்காயிலிருந்து வந்தா அது தெங்கா எண்னை... கடலையிலேந்து வந்தா கடலயெண்னை ... அப்படினா விளக்குலேருந்து வரது விளக்கெண்னயா ??
உனக்கு என்னாதான் தல சுத்துனாலூம் உன்னால முதுக பாக்க முடியாது
கோலமாவுல கோலம் பொடலாம் ... ஆனா கடலை மாவுல கடலை போட முடியுமா?
நீ எவ்வளவுதான் Costly-யான Cell வச்சிருந்தாலூம் Msg-அ forward- தான் பன்ன முடியும் ... Rewind பன்ன முடியாது ..
Butter'fly fly ஆகும் ..... Catter'pillar pillar ஆகுமா?
Cycle ல போனா Cycling, Train ல போனா Training ஆ ..!!
Iron Box வச்சு Iron பண்ணலாம் ஆனா Pencil Box வச்சு Pencil பண்ண முடியுமா?
குவாட்டர் அடிச்சிட்டு குப்புற படுத்துகலாம் ! ஆனா குப்புற படுத்துகிட்டு குவாட்டர் அடிக்க முடியுமா
நாய் வால ஆட்டலாம் , ஆனா வால் நாய ஆட்ட முடியாது
Train-னுக்கு டிக்கட்டு வாங்கி platform-ல உட்காரலாம் ! ஆனா Platform டிக்கட்டு வாங்கி Train-ல உட்க்கார முடியாது
உலகம் தெரியாம வாழ்ந்தா அவன் வெகுளி ! ஆனா கிரிக்கட் தெரியாம வாழ்ந்தா அவன் GANGULY
Cycle carrirer- ல டீப்பன் வச்சூ எடுத்துட்டு போகலாம் ! ஆனா டீப்பன் carrier-ல Cycle வச்சூ எடுத்துட்டு போக முடியாது
கால்வாயில கால் வைக்க முடியும் ! ஆனா வாய்க்காலுல வாய் வைக்க முடியுமா?
பால்கோவா , பால்லிருந்து பண்ணலாம் ... ஆனா ரசகுல்லாவா ரசத்திலிருந்து பண்ண முடியுமா?
சோடாவ, fridge- ல வச்சா cooling சோடா ஆகும் ! ஆனா washing machine-ல வச்சா washing சோடா ஆகுமா ??
நெய் ரொஸ்ட்டுல நெய் இருக்கும் ! ஆனா பேப்பர் ரொஸ்ட்டுல பேப்பர் இருக்குமா?
தண்ணீர.. தண்ணினு சொல்லலாம் ஆனா , பண்ணிர பண்ணினு சொல்ல முடியுமா?
தயிர் வடையில தயிர் இருக்கும்...
உளுந்த வடையில உளுந்து இருக்கும்...
ரச வடையில கூட ரசம் இருக்கும்...
ஆனா
ஆமை வடையில ஆமை இருக்காது....
இதெல்லாம் நிங்க ஏத்துக்கலெனா... இருக்கவெ இருக்கு ..
-sutta kadi
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Top 21 things Indians do when they come back to India.....
Here are TOP 21:
21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.
20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health
conscious.
19. Sprays duo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.
18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.
17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four
Instead of Seven Zero Four)
Says "gas" instead of "petrol"
16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing
every
time he steps out.
15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and
counts
in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)
14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible
(but
deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).
13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.
12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee"
several
times, if the other person unable to
get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)
11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY,
says
"Oh! British Style!!!!"
10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.
9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".
8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.
7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.
6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is
experiencing it for the first time.
5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "Mojule".
4. Looks speciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.
Few more important
3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways
by
which he traveled back to India, even
after 4 months of arrival.
2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to
roll the bag on Indian Roads.
Ultimate one
1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was
in
US..."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Mythical Bridge To Voters
In the Valmiki Ramayan, the character Ahalya, was transformed from a stone into a beautiful woman because Lord Rama merely stepped on her. In a similar way Lord Ram has once again breathed new life into our normally stony politicians, who though immovable as rocks on issues such as floods and and poverty reports have been galvanized into new life by the mere touch of Lord Rama.
The sangh parivar is looking far busier than it has in months. A saffron fatwa has been issued by Ram Vilas Vedanti calling for Karunanidhi to be killed. Pravin Togadia of the VHP has materialised from oblivion, yelling furiously that Hindus will be avenged if the Ramar Sethu is damaged by the Sethusamudram Shipping Canal Project. Another sangh stalwart, Murli Manohar Joshi, until recently grumbling on the sidelines about the perils of sex education, is blazing forth again, his tilak redder and more defiant than ever, even spearheading a resolution at the BJP national executive held last weekend in Bhopal. Narendra Modi has found new strength to his anti-Sonia campaign. Rama was not born in Italy, he shouts at his rallies nowadays.
Karunanidhi normally silent on the graver issue of the day such as the manner in which the DMK is able to destroy the constitutional integrity of the union cabinet by reserving ministerial berths, is roaring like a bloodthirsty lion. He too has been transformed from stone to life by the touch of Lord Rama. His atheism and Dravida war cry was never more ostentatious, his anti-Ram pro Ravana ideology was never louder. Rama has transformed Karunandhi into the god of Indian atheism. The Congress, heading into assembly polls in `hindutva' Gujarat is also in a shashtang pranam at the feet of Lord Rama. Ambika Soni, by all accounts a fine minister of tourism who has traveled the world trying to bring tourists, finds herself confronted by asuras in her own cabinet who want to slay her for not being devout enough.
What explains all this hectic political positioning over Rama? The answers lie in the 1991 Ayodhya movement that transformed the Hindus into a "votebank". The Ram Janmabhoomi movement took the BJP from being a marginal force in Indian politics in the 1980s to the status of a dominant national party by the mid 90s. For the first time, the Congress received an ideological as well as a political challenge and the BJP was successful as Advani has often claimed, in at last creating "the second pole" in Indian politics. The NDA victory of 1999 was the triumph of this new political idea. Jai Sri Ram was the new emotive slogan seen to yield rich political dividends.
Undoubtedly, the Ramayan remain fundamental to the Indian cultural identity. In times of globalization, the dominant feeling is one of loss. The loss of our culture, the loss of our values, our languages, our family systems, our festivals, all of it being steamrolled by the seeming juggernaut of the shopping mall, the naked ladies, and the glossy mass media, robbing us of everything we hold dear. The fears are perhaps not exaggerated. Large numbers of 21st century urban youth are not just semi-literate but growing up focused mostly on the nearest ATM machine and the candyfloss Bollywood film with little knowledge of their own traditions. The thousands of smses, emails and blogs that are being sent and written on the need to defend the Ramar setu shows that Ram, when posited as a symbol of an endangered identity, has found a ready echo in many many hearts. The point is however a little different: we all love and respect Rama, but will we necessarily vote for him? There lies a reality check. Ram as a political project is now subject to the law of diminishing returns.
Economic reforms are creating their own kind of politics. India's voting preferences and the issues that drive people to actually cast their vote are radically different from what they were in the last century. The politics of emotion has given way to the politics of expectation and the politics of aspiration. The NDA defeat of 2004 showed that a Hindutva government was not able to retain cultural passion. By the end of its term, it was the Vajpayee persona, standing for moderation and development that had become the NDA's trump card, not the Advani persona of ideological purity. Lets glance at the elections that have taken place this year. What explains Mayawati's victory in UP? Mayawati was able to convey that the BSP is no longer just the party of ideology, but also the party of opportunity. A party where the sarvajan samaj-all castes--can find patronage, jobs, social mobility and a better life. A pure attachment to ideology may have thrilled the BSP cadres, but the public at large was attracted to Mayawati not because of ambedkarite slogans but promise of a better life for all. Why did Captain Amrinder Singh, chief minister of Punjab lose the election? Whatever promises he held out the raja was seen as far too remote, far too arrogant, far too distant from the people. "if he can't even come for my daughter's wedding, why should I vote for him?' was the question. Today the Indian voter demands a political manifesto that holds out opportunity and inclusion. Appeals to pure emotion or pure ideology may be interesting to talk about, but are not considered worth voting on.
Inspite of the DMK agitations and the BJP's protests, the streets of Tamil nadu are quiet. The VHP bandh in north India got a lukewarm response and was called off in a couple of hours. Why did the "national integration" rath yatras of Advani and Rajnath Singh of 2006 fail, when the idea was galvanise "Hindu rage against the UPA's "minorityism." Simply because there are no takers for rath yatras anymore, there are no takers for "hindu rage" anymore. Advani's 1990 Somnath to Ayodhya rath yatra occurred at a time when India was not as global as it is now, the Indian was not as aspirational and still liable to be swayed by provincial passions. It could also be argued that for many thousands of kar sevaks at that time Rama was about finding a job or getting a business opportunity, not necessarily about ideology. Importantly, Advani's rath yatra took place before 24 hour television news. Today the coming of the new economy, the new media, the smses, the bloggers, the mmses and the citizen journalists, have created a voting public far more interested in immediate issues that directly impact them and directly affect their future. Today, even Narendra Modi is shedding his hindutva tag and relying more on his development record. Narendra Modi's preferred identity is of "vikas purush" , someone who harps on his road construction, rural development and his women and child welfare schemes.
It is time perhaps to recognise that, as the forces of the new economy sweep in, the notions of the big ideas that work and those which do not are rapidly changing. Ram as an idea and as a political project has run out of shelf life. The Ram issue is similar to the Left's attempt to whip up anti-imperialism ideology on the Indo-US nuclear deal to galvanise its cadres and hang onto survival. Ideology and the cultural war may be very sexy. But they will yield limited political returns at a time when Indians are more worried about their life on earth rather than their place in heaven or in the socialist utopia.
Posted by Sagarika Ghose
The sangh parivar is looking far busier than it has in months. A saffron fatwa has been issued by Ram Vilas Vedanti calling for Karunanidhi to be killed. Pravin Togadia of the VHP has materialised from oblivion, yelling furiously that Hindus will be avenged if the Ramar Sethu is damaged by the Sethusamudram Shipping Canal Project. Another sangh stalwart, Murli Manohar Joshi, until recently grumbling on the sidelines about the perils of sex education, is blazing forth again, his tilak redder and more defiant than ever, even spearheading a resolution at the BJP national executive held last weekend in Bhopal. Narendra Modi has found new strength to his anti-Sonia campaign. Rama was not born in Italy, he shouts at his rallies nowadays.
Karunanidhi normally silent on the graver issue of the day such as the manner in which the DMK is able to destroy the constitutional integrity of the union cabinet by reserving ministerial berths, is roaring like a bloodthirsty lion. He too has been transformed from stone to life by the touch of Lord Rama. His atheism and Dravida war cry was never more ostentatious, his anti-Ram pro Ravana ideology was never louder. Rama has transformed Karunandhi into the god of Indian atheism. The Congress, heading into assembly polls in `hindutva' Gujarat is also in a shashtang pranam at the feet of Lord Rama. Ambika Soni, by all accounts a fine minister of tourism who has traveled the world trying to bring tourists, finds herself confronted by asuras in her own cabinet who want to slay her for not being devout enough.
What explains all this hectic political positioning over Rama? The answers lie in the 1991 Ayodhya movement that transformed the Hindus into a "votebank". The Ram Janmabhoomi movement took the BJP from being a marginal force in Indian politics in the 1980s to the status of a dominant national party by the mid 90s. For the first time, the Congress received an ideological as well as a political challenge and the BJP was successful as Advani has often claimed, in at last creating "the second pole" in Indian politics. The NDA victory of 1999 was the triumph of this new political idea. Jai Sri Ram was the new emotive slogan seen to yield rich political dividends.
Undoubtedly, the Ramayan remain fundamental to the Indian cultural identity. In times of globalization, the dominant feeling is one of loss. The loss of our culture, the loss of our values, our languages, our family systems, our festivals, all of it being steamrolled by the seeming juggernaut of the shopping mall, the naked ladies, and the glossy mass media, robbing us of everything we hold dear. The fears are perhaps not exaggerated. Large numbers of 21st century urban youth are not just semi-literate but growing up focused mostly on the nearest ATM machine and the candyfloss Bollywood film with little knowledge of their own traditions. The thousands of smses, emails and blogs that are being sent and written on the need to defend the Ramar setu shows that Ram, when posited as a symbol of an endangered identity, has found a ready echo in many many hearts. The point is however a little different: we all love and respect Rama, but will we necessarily vote for him? There lies a reality check. Ram as a political project is now subject to the law of diminishing returns.
Economic reforms are creating their own kind of politics. India's voting preferences and the issues that drive people to actually cast their vote are radically different from what they were in the last century. The politics of emotion has given way to the politics of expectation and the politics of aspiration. The NDA defeat of 2004 showed that a Hindutva government was not able to retain cultural passion. By the end of its term, it was the Vajpayee persona, standing for moderation and development that had become the NDA's trump card, not the Advani persona of ideological purity. Lets glance at the elections that have taken place this year. What explains Mayawati's victory in UP? Mayawati was able to convey that the BSP is no longer just the party of ideology, but also the party of opportunity. A party where the sarvajan samaj-all castes--can find patronage, jobs, social mobility and a better life. A pure attachment to ideology may have thrilled the BSP cadres, but the public at large was attracted to Mayawati not because of ambedkarite slogans but promise of a better life for all. Why did Captain Amrinder Singh, chief minister of Punjab lose the election? Whatever promises he held out the raja was seen as far too remote, far too arrogant, far too distant from the people. "if he can't even come for my daughter's wedding, why should I vote for him?' was the question. Today the Indian voter demands a political manifesto that holds out opportunity and inclusion. Appeals to pure emotion or pure ideology may be interesting to talk about, but are not considered worth voting on.
Inspite of the DMK agitations and the BJP's protests, the streets of Tamil nadu are quiet. The VHP bandh in north India got a lukewarm response and was called off in a couple of hours. Why did the "national integration" rath yatras of Advani and Rajnath Singh of 2006 fail, when the idea was galvanise "Hindu rage against the UPA's "minorityism." Simply because there are no takers for rath yatras anymore, there are no takers for "hindu rage" anymore. Advani's 1990 Somnath to Ayodhya rath yatra occurred at a time when India was not as global as it is now, the Indian was not as aspirational and still liable to be swayed by provincial passions. It could also be argued that for many thousands of kar sevaks at that time Rama was about finding a job or getting a business opportunity, not necessarily about ideology. Importantly, Advani's rath yatra took place before 24 hour television news. Today the coming of the new economy, the new media, the smses, the bloggers, the mmses and the citizen journalists, have created a voting public far more interested in immediate issues that directly impact them and directly affect their future. Today, even Narendra Modi is shedding his hindutva tag and relying more on his development record. Narendra Modi's preferred identity is of "vikas purush" , someone who harps on his road construction, rural development and his women and child welfare schemes.
It is time perhaps to recognise that, as the forces of the new economy sweep in, the notions of the big ideas that work and those which do not are rapidly changing. Ram as an idea and as a political project has run out of shelf life. The Ram issue is similar to the Left's attempt to whip up anti-imperialism ideology on the Indo-US nuclear deal to galvanise its cadres and hang onto survival. Ideology and the cultural war may be very sexy. But they will yield limited political returns at a time when Indians are more worried about their life on earth rather than their place in heaven or in the socialist utopia.
Posted by Sagarika Ghose
Monday, September 24, 2007
India lift inaugural Twenty20 World Cup
JOHANNESBURG, September 24: Mahendra Singh Dhoni's young Team India snatched the inaugural Twenty20 world title after defeating archrivals Pakistan by five runs in a rousing final on Monday.
The Indians, restricted to 157-5 after electing to take first strike in good batting conditions, fought back to bowl out valiant Pakistan for 152 before a sell-out crowd of 32,000 at the Wanderers.
Pakistan appeared out for the count when they were reduced to 104-7 after 16 overs, but Misbah-ul Haq gave the Indians a scare with a late charge of 43 off 38 balls. Misbah and his tail-end partners took 19 runs in the 18th over bowled by Shanthakumaran Sree Santh and seven runs in the 19th from Rudra Pratap Singh, leaving 13 to get off the final over.
Seamer Joginder Sharma bowled a wide off the first ball and was hammered for a six by Misbah with the second legitimate ball, but gave India victory with his next delivery as the batsman holed out to fine-leg. Rudra Pratap and Irfan Pathan claimed three wickets each as Pakistan's jinx of never having beaten India in a World Cup or world championship match continued.
Top Bollywood star Shah Rukh Khan was at hand to witness India take home the winner's purse of 490,000 dollars while Pakistan received no prize money for their efforts in the final. It was a remarkable performance by the Indians who had played just one Twenty20 international before the tournament began.
India's innings was restricted by seamer Umar Gul who scalped three prize wickets of Yuvraj Singh, Dhoni and top-scorer Gautam Gambhir. Gambhir slammed 75 off 54 balls, studded with eight boundaries and two sixes, but none of the other batsmen settled in to play a long innings. The best partnership in the innings was between Gambhir and Yuvraj, who put on 63 for the third wicket.
India's total was boosted by Rohit Sharma and Irfan Pathan who plundered 27 runs in the final two overs. Sharma remained unbeaten on a 16-ball 30.
Pakistan's chase of the victory target of eight runs an over was launched by Imran Nazir who smashed 33 off 14 balls, taking 21 runs in the second over sent down by Sree Santh. But Pakistan lost three wickets by the sixth over as left-armer Rudra Pratap dismissed Mohammad Hafeez and Kamran Akmal in his first two overs and Nazir was run out by a direct throw from Robin Uthappa.
Pakistan took the total to 65-3 in the ninth over when three further wickets fell for 12 runs, two in one over from Irfan Pathan. Batting mainstay Younis Khan made 24 when he gave a catch to mid-on off Joginder Sharma and Irfan removed captain Shoaib Malik and Shahid Afridi in the 12th over.
Malik on-drove Pathan to Rohit Sharma at mid-wicket and Afridi, expected to provide the late fireworks, was caught in the deep off the first ball he faced.
India went into the match without aggressive opener Virender Sehwag who was ruled out of the key match with a thigh strain sustained during Saturday's semi-final against Australia in Durban.
Yousuf Pathan, elder brother of all-rounder Irfan Pathan who replaced Sehwag, made a dramatic start to his international career after being sent in to open the batting.
Pathan survived a run-out scare off the first ball of the match and smashed the fourth ball from Mohammad Asif over long-on for six.
timesofindia
The Indians, restricted to 157-5 after electing to take first strike in good batting conditions, fought back to bowl out valiant Pakistan for 152 before a sell-out crowd of 32,000 at the Wanderers.
Pakistan appeared out for the count when they were reduced to 104-7 after 16 overs, but Misbah-ul Haq gave the Indians a scare with a late charge of 43 off 38 balls. Misbah and his tail-end partners took 19 runs in the 18th over bowled by Shanthakumaran Sree Santh and seven runs in the 19th from Rudra Pratap Singh, leaving 13 to get off the final over.
Seamer Joginder Sharma bowled a wide off the first ball and was hammered for a six by Misbah with the second legitimate ball, but gave India victory with his next delivery as the batsman holed out to fine-leg. Rudra Pratap and Irfan Pathan claimed three wickets each as Pakistan's jinx of never having beaten India in a World Cup or world championship match continued.
Top Bollywood star Shah Rukh Khan was at hand to witness India take home the winner's purse of 490,000 dollars while Pakistan received no prize money for their efforts in the final. It was a remarkable performance by the Indians who had played just one Twenty20 international before the tournament began.
India's innings was restricted by seamer Umar Gul who scalped three prize wickets of Yuvraj Singh, Dhoni and top-scorer Gautam Gambhir. Gambhir slammed 75 off 54 balls, studded with eight boundaries and two sixes, but none of the other batsmen settled in to play a long innings. The best partnership in the innings was between Gambhir and Yuvraj, who put on 63 for the third wicket.
India's total was boosted by Rohit Sharma and Irfan Pathan who plundered 27 runs in the final two overs. Sharma remained unbeaten on a 16-ball 30.
Pakistan's chase of the victory target of eight runs an over was launched by Imran Nazir who smashed 33 off 14 balls, taking 21 runs in the second over sent down by Sree Santh. But Pakistan lost three wickets by the sixth over as left-armer Rudra Pratap dismissed Mohammad Hafeez and Kamran Akmal in his first two overs and Nazir was run out by a direct throw from Robin Uthappa.
Pakistan took the total to 65-3 in the ninth over when three further wickets fell for 12 runs, two in one over from Irfan Pathan. Batting mainstay Younis Khan made 24 when he gave a catch to mid-on off Joginder Sharma and Irfan removed captain Shoaib Malik and Shahid Afridi in the 12th over.
Malik on-drove Pathan to Rohit Sharma at mid-wicket and Afridi, expected to provide the late fireworks, was caught in the deep off the first ball he faced.
India went into the match without aggressive opener Virender Sehwag who was ruled out of the key match with a thigh strain sustained during Saturday's semi-final against Australia in Durban.
Yousuf Pathan, elder brother of all-rounder Irfan Pathan who replaced Sehwag, made a dramatic start to his international career after being sent in to open the batting.
Pathan survived a run-out scare off the first ball of the match and smashed the fourth ball from Mohammad Asif over long-on for six.
timesofindia
Epic India-Pak clash on the cards in T20 final
Johannesburg: It is a colossal day for cricket on the sub-continent. What had seemed an event to test the waters in a new format of the game has taken epic proportions as famed adversaries India and Pakistan strive to become champions of the first ICC Twenty20 World Championship.
The stars have contrived to repair the damage done by their early exit from the World Cup in the West Indies and the two young sides have already done their bit in resurrecting the game that is known to be nothing short of a religion in their respective countries but took a beating earlier this year.
Seeing their run in this 12-team tournament, a fierce contest is definitely on the cards in the final to be played at the Wanderers on Monday afternoon.
India and Pakistan have both lost just one match each going into the final, India going down to New Zealand in a Super Eights match and Pakistan losing to India in a preliminary league tie that saw the first 'bowl out' of the championship.
But all that has happened in the past will matter for little, a point emphasized by skippers Mahendra Singh Dhoni and Shoaib Malik on the eve of the big day.
Rare India-Pak final:
This is only the second instance of India and Pakistan locking horns in the final of a world level event. But in contrast to the World Championship played in Australia in 1985, when banners like "tram drivers versus bus conductors" greeted them, they have great fan following here.
In fact, it was almost a home ground for India at Kingsmead in Durban when they vanquished Australia in the semi-finals, but that is not the kind of support they are likely to get here.
By surprisingly topping their part of the Super Eights league, India had ensured a semi-final at Durban, which proved to be a great advantage for them as they had played all but one of their outings there.
They now move out of their den to the Wanderers, where they lost to New Zealand by 10 runs.
A slight edge here and there:
Both teams have shown the kind of consistency that they are not exactly known for and it is just that wee bit here and there that separates the teams.
India have a slight edge in batting because most of their batsmen have chipped in at some time or the other with Yuvraj Singh being the pick of the lot with 134 runs in four matches (he missed one match) and an astounding strike rate of 235 with a world record 36 in an over to boast of.
Openers Gautam Gambhir and Virender Sehwag have ensured steady starts with Dhoni and Yuvraj doing the accelerating job, Robin Uthappa shining in patches, Rohit Sharma showing promise and Irfan Pathan lending some balance.
Pakistan have two of the most successful batsmen in the tournament with Malik (187) and Misbah-ul-Haq (175) scoring a heap of runs but which also suggests an over-dependence on these two.
Their third most successful batsman, the experienced Younis Khan has scored 103 thus far, not anywhere near the aggregates of Gambhir (152), Dhoni (148), Yuvraj (134) or Sehwag (133).
Cautious captains:
However, Dhoni said he did not believe in going by statistics, nor did he see any relevance of the past record of world level events in which Pakistan have never prevailed.
"Any batsman that gets set can be dangerous and any bowler who strikes rhythm can trouble you," he said on the eve of the match.
On the other hand, Pakistan have an edge in their bowling with Shahid Afridi (12 wickets), Umar Gul (10) and Mohammad Asif (nine) all showing superb abilities while India have generally struggled with their fifth bowler except for the Aussie outing.
Malik was wary of the Indian bowling and worried about India's batting.
"RP Singh and Sreesanth have been bowling well while Yuvraj's batting form is a worry for us. I have never seen him bat like he is doing right now," he said.
Friendlier turf for batting:
The pitch here is not likely to be as seamer-friendly as the one in Durban. One will have to wait and see to whose advantage that it eventually turns out to be.
India's bowlers did well because they used the windy conditions well while their batsmen may find it less disconcerting to take on a spicy Pakistan pace combination.
The average run-rate at the Wanderers has been 8.72 per over so far in the championship.
cricketnext.com
The stars have contrived to repair the damage done by their early exit from the World Cup in the West Indies and the two young sides have already done their bit in resurrecting the game that is known to be nothing short of a religion in their respective countries but took a beating earlier this year.
Seeing their run in this 12-team tournament, a fierce contest is definitely on the cards in the final to be played at the Wanderers on Monday afternoon.
India and Pakistan have both lost just one match each going into the final, India going down to New Zealand in a Super Eights match and Pakistan losing to India in a preliminary league tie that saw the first 'bowl out' of the championship.
But all that has happened in the past will matter for little, a point emphasized by skippers Mahendra Singh Dhoni and Shoaib Malik on the eve of the big day.
Rare India-Pak final:
This is only the second instance of India and Pakistan locking horns in the final of a world level event. But in contrast to the World Championship played in Australia in 1985, when banners like "tram drivers versus bus conductors" greeted them, they have great fan following here.
In fact, it was almost a home ground for India at Kingsmead in Durban when they vanquished Australia in the semi-finals, but that is not the kind of support they are likely to get here.
By surprisingly topping their part of the Super Eights league, India had ensured a semi-final at Durban, which proved to be a great advantage for them as they had played all but one of their outings there.
They now move out of their den to the Wanderers, where they lost to New Zealand by 10 runs.
A slight edge here and there:
Both teams have shown the kind of consistency that they are not exactly known for and it is just that wee bit here and there that separates the teams.
India have a slight edge in batting because most of their batsmen have chipped in at some time or the other with Yuvraj Singh being the pick of the lot with 134 runs in four matches (he missed one match) and an astounding strike rate of 235 with a world record 36 in an over to boast of.
Openers Gautam Gambhir and Virender Sehwag have ensured steady starts with Dhoni and Yuvraj doing the accelerating job, Robin Uthappa shining in patches, Rohit Sharma showing promise and Irfan Pathan lending some balance.
Pakistan have two of the most successful batsmen in the tournament with Malik (187) and Misbah-ul-Haq (175) scoring a heap of runs but which also suggests an over-dependence on these two.
Their third most successful batsman, the experienced Younis Khan has scored 103 thus far, not anywhere near the aggregates of Gambhir (152), Dhoni (148), Yuvraj (134) or Sehwag (133).
Cautious captains:
However, Dhoni said he did not believe in going by statistics, nor did he see any relevance of the past record of world level events in which Pakistan have never prevailed.
"Any batsman that gets set can be dangerous and any bowler who strikes rhythm can trouble you," he said on the eve of the match.
On the other hand, Pakistan have an edge in their bowling with Shahid Afridi (12 wickets), Umar Gul (10) and Mohammad Asif (nine) all showing superb abilities while India have generally struggled with their fifth bowler except for the Aussie outing.
Malik was wary of the Indian bowling and worried about India's batting.
"RP Singh and Sreesanth have been bowling well while Yuvraj's batting form is a worry for us. I have never seen him bat like he is doing right now," he said.
Friendlier turf for batting:
The pitch here is not likely to be as seamer-friendly as the one in Durban. One will have to wait and see to whose advantage that it eventually turns out to be.
India's bowlers did well because they used the windy conditions well while their batsmen may find it less disconcerting to take on a spicy Pakistan pace combination.
The average run-rate at the Wanderers has been 8.72 per over so far in the championship.
cricketnext.com
Sun goes on the blink on TV sets in Tamil Nadu
Monday September 24, 02:21 AM
The channel war between the powerful Sun TV Group, controlled by the Maran brothers, and the Kalaignar TV, launched with the blessings of Chief Minister and DMK chief M Karunanidhi, is taking an ugly turn. Since Friday, there have been reports that viewers at many places, including Chennai, have been deprived of the popular Sun TV channels.
The cable TV operators, particularly those backing Kalaignar TV, raised the war cry after a full-page advertisement appeared on Friday in the local newspapers about the Sun TV Group's Direct-to-Home service. Sun Direct is offering 75 television channels, besides 15 radio stations, for just Rs 75 as monthly fee.
Former Union Minister Dayanidhi Maran, who has now assumed responsibility as Chief Executive Officer of the family-owned Dinakaran, told The Indian Express that "certain people who want to promote their own channel (read promoters of Kalaignar TV)" were behind the "harassment" and were instigating operators.
A virtual riot broke out in Chennai and some districts of Tamil Nadu, with cable TV operators setting fire to the copies of the Sun TV advertisement. The operators insist that the monthly fee being charged by the DTH was "too low" and would affect their revenue. They claim it is "stifling" the last mile cable operators. Representatives of Tamizhaga Cable TV Operators' General Welfare Association (TCOA), comprising last mile operators, threatened to black out Sun channels and launch their own control room networks by snapping business links with Sumangali Cable Vision, the multi system operator run by Sun network. The operators have threatened a state-wide fast on Monday to urge the Government to initiate action against the Sun TV Group for "misleading people" about the DTH service.
The most affected was Madurai district, controlled by M K Azhagiri, the Chief Minister's son. Maran confirmed that Sun TV signals were switched off in most parts of Madurai. On Friday, police also swooped down on 50 Sun Direct DTH distributors in the district and picked them up, but have not provided any reason for their detention.
In Chennai, protesting operators went on the rampage tearing down advertisement banners put up by some distributors of Sun Direct at their offices. The advertisement invited subscribers to avail an offer before September 30, which includes a free dish antenna, a set top box and two months' subscription free. The subscriber would have to pay an installation charge of Rs 999 and a service charge of Rs 100.
Presently, the Sun TV bouquet costs a subscriber Rs 100 per month, which includes the 15 Sun TV channels and the various English news and local regional channels. "We want to give people a better option. That is why we are offering the DTH services. If we charge a monthly fee of Rs 150 as the cable TV operators are demanding, then how can our DTH be a better option?" said Maran.
Cable TV operators said they had switched off signals of the Sun bouquet from Friday in several districts including Madurai, Tirunelveli, Theni, Pudukkottai, Ramnad, Villupuram and Cuddalore. "Cable TV operators cannot operate on such a low fee. At least the Government should consider imposing a tax like it is done in Maharashtra and Uttar Pradesh," said Kayal R S Ilavarasu, the state president of Tamil Nadu Cable TV Urimaiyalargal Sangam.
Sun TV Group sources, however, said subscribers in only the Madurai region were being deprived of the Sun TV channels. They blamed cable TV operators loyal to Azhagiri for it. "We are trying to make the DTH service popular and giving subscribers more flexibility," said Maran.
In the news room too, Kalaignar TV has declared war. After its news bulletin from 1 pm to 1.30 pm, the channel telecasts a new Tamil film. It clashes with the popular news capsule of Sun TV, which begins at 1.30 pm. "We have now introduced a brief capsule which just announces the news headlines at 2 pm," said Maran.
The war is bound to turn uglier once the DMK Government-run Arasu Cable TV Corporation begins operations.
Indian Express
The channel war between the powerful Sun TV Group, controlled by the Maran brothers, and the Kalaignar TV, launched with the blessings of Chief Minister and DMK chief M Karunanidhi, is taking an ugly turn. Since Friday, there have been reports that viewers at many places, including Chennai, have been deprived of the popular Sun TV channels.
The cable TV operators, particularly those backing Kalaignar TV, raised the war cry after a full-page advertisement appeared on Friday in the local newspapers about the Sun TV Group's Direct-to-Home service. Sun Direct is offering 75 television channels, besides 15 radio stations, for just Rs 75 as monthly fee.
Former Union Minister Dayanidhi Maran, who has now assumed responsibility as Chief Executive Officer of the family-owned Dinakaran, told The Indian Express that "certain people who want to promote their own channel (read promoters of Kalaignar TV)" were behind the "harassment" and were instigating operators.
A virtual riot broke out in Chennai and some districts of Tamil Nadu, with cable TV operators setting fire to the copies of the Sun TV advertisement. The operators insist that the monthly fee being charged by the DTH was "too low" and would affect their revenue. They claim it is "stifling" the last mile cable operators. Representatives of Tamizhaga Cable TV Operators' General Welfare Association (TCOA), comprising last mile operators, threatened to black out Sun channels and launch their own control room networks by snapping business links with Sumangali Cable Vision, the multi system operator run by Sun network. The operators have threatened a state-wide fast on Monday to urge the Government to initiate action against the Sun TV Group for "misleading people" about the DTH service.
The most affected was Madurai district, controlled by M K Azhagiri, the Chief Minister's son. Maran confirmed that Sun TV signals were switched off in most parts of Madurai. On Friday, police also swooped down on 50 Sun Direct DTH distributors in the district and picked them up, but have not provided any reason for their detention.
In Chennai, protesting operators went on the rampage tearing down advertisement banners put up by some distributors of Sun Direct at their offices. The advertisement invited subscribers to avail an offer before September 30, which includes a free dish antenna, a set top box and two months' subscription free. The subscriber would have to pay an installation charge of Rs 999 and a service charge of Rs 100.
Presently, the Sun TV bouquet costs a subscriber Rs 100 per month, which includes the 15 Sun TV channels and the various English news and local regional channels. "We want to give people a better option. That is why we are offering the DTH services. If we charge a monthly fee of Rs 150 as the cable TV operators are demanding, then how can our DTH be a better option?" said Maran.
Cable TV operators said they had switched off signals of the Sun bouquet from Friday in several districts including Madurai, Tirunelveli, Theni, Pudukkottai, Ramnad, Villupuram and Cuddalore. "Cable TV operators cannot operate on such a low fee. At least the Government should consider imposing a tax like it is done in Maharashtra and Uttar Pradesh," said Kayal R S Ilavarasu, the state president of Tamil Nadu Cable TV Urimaiyalargal Sangam.
Sun TV Group sources, however, said subscribers in only the Madurai region were being deprived of the Sun TV channels. They blamed cable TV operators loyal to Azhagiri for it. "We are trying to make the DTH service popular and giving subscribers more flexibility," said Maran.
In the news room too, Kalaignar TV has declared war. After its news bulletin from 1 pm to 1.30 pm, the channel telecasts a new Tamil film. It clashes with the popular news capsule of Sun TV, which begins at 1.30 pm. "We have now introduced a brief capsule which just announces the news headlines at 2 pm," said Maran.
The war is bound to turn uglier once the DMK Government-run Arasu Cable TV Corporation begins operations.
Indian Express
Sunday, September 23, 2007
More sardar jokes!!!!!!!!!!
Sardarji on KBC 2
Amitabh : apka 13th question 25 lakh yeh raha apke samne..
Contestant Sardar is tensed.
Amitabh : Who is the father of Abhishek Bachan?
Computer Screen:
A. Amitabh Bachan B. Laloo Prasad Yadav
C. Moh. Azhar D. General Perverz Musharaff.
Amitabh : Apka kya jawab hai ?
(He is quite sure that Sardar will opt for A)
But Sardar is still confused.
Amitabh : Apke pas do life line hai..(50:50 and phone a friend)
Sardar: I think it is A but am not sure.
Amitabh : Not sure... Hmmm Ap kya karna chahenge?
Sardar : I would like to use 50:50?
Amitabh: Ok computer , 2 galat javabo ko mita de..
Computer after deleting two names, leaves two options which are: -
B. Laloo Prasad Yadav.
C. Moh. Azhar.
Amitabh is confused and tensed thinks how come the computer has made this mistake But as is said in bollywood the show must go on. Now Sardar is even more confused.
Sardar: I would like to use the last life line phone a friend..
Amitabh : Ap kisko phone karna chahenge?
Sardar : Mein Jaya Bachan ji ko phone karna chahoonga.
Amitabh Bachchan Shocked !!! But the Call gets connected to Jaya Bachchan
Santa Singh: "Jayaji, Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan!?"
Receiving reply from JAYA, Amitabh Bachan faints..
GUESS WHY?
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Jaya Bachchan ask's him "What are the options?"
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Once a Sadarji came home with his left forehead bleeding his wife asked him what had happened.
He replied "there was a nail in the window of the bus that pricked me each time the bus jerked", his wife said "then y didn’t u exchanged your seat with some other passengers, that did not know about the nail!
Sadarji replied "How can I exchange my seat when there were no other passengers in the bus other than me".
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When Santa came home, his wife, Jeeto, was crying.
"Your mother insulted me," Jeeto sobbed.
"My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation on the other side of the country?" Santa asked.
"I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious."
"And?"
"At the end of the letter it said, 'Dear Jeeto, when you have finished reading this letter, don't forget to give it to my son.'"
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Sardars entry in the heaven
A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate DharamRaj told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are in a year?
The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
DharamRaj said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"
The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."
DharamRaj lets him in without another word.
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1. What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
A: Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My Mobile No. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
There was this news that 200 sardars are killed in a train accident at the station. Only one Sardar left alive.
The correspondent goes to the Sardarji and the conversation between them goes as follows: Correspondent: How did this happen?
Sardarji: Well, all the 200 people were waiting for the train. They were standing on the platform. Then there was this announcement that the train is arriving on platform number 2. They got scared to know that the train is arriving on the platform and hence they jumped onto the tracks to save themselves, The announcement was misleading the train arrived on the track and you can see the result.
Correspondent: Well, I guess, you must be the intelligent Sardarji. Why did you not jump onto the tracks?
Sardarji: I was actually trying to commit suicide. I was waiting for the train on the tracks. When I heard that the train is arriving on the platform, I climbed up
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardarji went to US to live with his brother. Sardarji's Brother owns an apple shop in US.
One day he asked his brother to stay at the shop because he had to go somewhere.
He asked his brother if somebody comes to shop and ask for the apple's price, tell them $2 a pound. If somebody questions whether these apples are sweet or sour, tell them some are sweet and some are not. If some body says I do not want to buy, tell them somebody else will buy.
Now the sardarji was ready to sell the apples.
A lady comes and asks sardarji, Do you know what time it is ? Sardarji replied $2 a pound.
Lady said; all sardarji's are idiot and fools.
Sardarji replied, some are some are not.
Lady got frustrated and said, I will take you to police station.
Sardarji replied, if you will not take me some body else will".
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thats all today!!!!!
Amitabh : apka 13th question 25 lakh yeh raha apke samne..
Contestant Sardar is tensed.
Amitabh : Who is the father of Abhishek Bachan?
Computer Screen:
A. Amitabh Bachan B. Laloo Prasad Yadav
C. Moh. Azhar D. General Perverz Musharaff.
Amitabh : Apka kya jawab hai ?
(He is quite sure that Sardar will opt for A)
But Sardar is still confused.
Amitabh : Apke pas do life line hai..(50:50 and phone a friend)
Sardar: I think it is A but am not sure.
Amitabh : Not sure... Hmmm Ap kya karna chahenge?
Sardar : I would like to use 50:50?
Amitabh: Ok computer , 2 galat javabo ko mita de..
Computer after deleting two names, leaves two options which are: -
B. Laloo Prasad Yadav.
C. Moh. Azhar.
Amitabh is confused and tensed thinks how come the computer has made this mistake But as is said in bollywood the show must go on. Now Sardar is even more confused.
Sardar: I would like to use the last life line phone a friend..
Amitabh : Ap kisko phone karna chahenge?
Sardar : Mein Jaya Bachan ji ko phone karna chahoonga.
Amitabh Bachchan Shocked !!! But the Call gets connected to Jaya Bachchan
Santa Singh: "Jayaji, Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan!?"
Receiving reply from JAYA, Amitabh Bachan faints..
GUESS WHY?
Scroll Down
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Jaya Bachchan ask's him "What are the options?"
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Once a Sadarji came home with his left forehead bleeding his wife asked him what had happened.
He replied "there was a nail in the window of the bus that pricked me each time the bus jerked", his wife said "then y didn’t u exchanged your seat with some other passengers, that did not know about the nail!
Sadarji replied "How can I exchange my seat when there were no other passengers in the bus other than me".
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When Santa came home, his wife, Jeeto, was crying.
"Your mother insulted me," Jeeto sobbed.
"My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation on the other side of the country?" Santa asked.
"I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious."
"And?"
"At the end of the letter it said, 'Dear Jeeto, when you have finished reading this letter, don't forget to give it to my son.'"
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Sardars entry in the heaven
A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate DharamRaj told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are in a year?
The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
DharamRaj said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"
The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."
DharamRaj lets him in without another word.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
A: Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My Mobile No. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
There was this news that 200 sardars are killed in a train accident at the station. Only one Sardar left alive.
The correspondent goes to the Sardarji and the conversation between them goes as follows: Correspondent: How did this happen?
Sardarji: Well, all the 200 people were waiting for the train. They were standing on the platform. Then there was this announcement that the train is arriving on platform number 2. They got scared to know that the train is arriving on the platform and hence they jumped onto the tracks to save themselves, The announcement was misleading the train arrived on the track and you can see the result.
Correspondent: Well, I guess, you must be the intelligent Sardarji. Why did you not jump onto the tracks?
Sardarji: I was actually trying to commit suicide. I was waiting for the train on the tracks. When I heard that the train is arriving on the platform, I climbed up
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardarji went to US to live with his brother. Sardarji's Brother owns an apple shop in US.
One day he asked his brother to stay at the shop because he had to go somewhere.
He asked his brother if somebody comes to shop and ask for the apple's price, tell them $2 a pound. If somebody questions whether these apples are sweet or sour, tell them some are sweet and some are not. If some body says I do not want to buy, tell them somebody else will buy.
Now the sardarji was ready to sell the apples.
A lady comes and asks sardarji, Do you know what time it is ? Sardarji replied $2 a pound.
Lady said; all sardarji's are idiot and fools.
Sardarji replied, some are some are not.
Lady got frustrated and said, I will take you to police station.
Sardarji replied, if you will not take me some body else will".
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thats all today!!!!!
Instant Payasam
Ingredients: 1/2 litre milk
100 gm rice - broken rice
100 gm sugar
cardamom powder-1 tea spoon
Method: Take a stainless steel vessel that will fit in a pressure cooker.
Mix all the above ingredients in the steel container and Close the container with a plate. Pressure cook it.
Keep the flame in high till the first whistle comes, then reduce it to min and allow it to cook for 15 mins. Payasam is ready to be served.Garnish with cashews and pista.
100 gm rice - broken rice
100 gm sugar
cardamom powder-1 tea spoon
Method: Take a stainless steel vessel that will fit in a pressure cooker.
Mix all the above ingredients in the steel container and Close the container with a plate. Pressure cook it.
Keep the flame in high till the first whistle comes, then reduce it to min and allow it to cook for 15 mins. Payasam is ready to be served.Garnish with cashews and pista.
Prashant Tamang is new Indian Idol
New Delhi: The months turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into days and then, it was all a matter of hours. Pranshant Tamang took on Shillong's Amit Paul to be the third Indian Idol on Sunday night.
Minutes before the grand finale of the talent hunt contest Indian Idol began in the Capital on Sunday, fans rooted for their favourites.
But the judges were clear they wanted to see Amit Paul as the new idol.
“I would have preferred Amit Paul,” said lyricist and one of the judges of Indian Idol, Javed Akhtar.
Playback singer and an Indian Idol judge, Alisha Chinai agreed with Javed Akhtar in the choice of the winner. “Amit Paul,” the singer said.
However, Playback singer and also a judge of the talent hunt contest, said, “Both are equally talented and are winners.”
But the people's verdict was different from that of the judges. Prashant Tamang, a constable in the West Bengal Police, was declared the winner Indian Idol after he pipped his rival Amit Paul in a grand finale.
The decision was swayed by over seven crore votes - sent by people from all over the country - to select India's next singing sensation.
So after a well and truly hard fought battle, it was Prashant Tamang - the underdog - the boy from Darjeeling, who was crowned Indian Idol.
The crown brings with it a lot of perks including a winner’s booty of Rs 1 crore, a year's contract with Sony and a Maruti SX-4.
“I am very happy that I am the Indian Idol today. I always dreamt I will be very famous,” said Prashant.
“He is a very nice guy. I am very happy that he is the Indian Idol,” said Amit Paul.
And as the teary-eyed 24-year-old Tamang thanked his mother and the police force for allowing him to participate in the contest, the hills of his hometown Darjeeling echoed with sounds of jubilation.
ibnlive.com
Minutes before the grand finale of the talent hunt contest Indian Idol began in the Capital on Sunday, fans rooted for their favourites.
But the judges were clear they wanted to see Amit Paul as the new idol.
“I would have preferred Amit Paul,” said lyricist and one of the judges of Indian Idol, Javed Akhtar.
Playback singer and an Indian Idol judge, Alisha Chinai agreed with Javed Akhtar in the choice of the winner. “Amit Paul,” the singer said.
However, Playback singer and also a judge of the talent hunt contest, said, “Both are equally talented and are winners.”
But the people's verdict was different from that of the judges. Prashant Tamang, a constable in the West Bengal Police, was declared the winner Indian Idol after he pipped his rival Amit Paul in a grand finale.
The decision was swayed by over seven crore votes - sent by people from all over the country - to select India's next singing sensation.
So after a well and truly hard fought battle, it was Prashant Tamang - the underdog - the boy from Darjeeling, who was crowned Indian Idol.
The crown brings with it a lot of perks including a winner’s booty of Rs 1 crore, a year's contract with Sony and a Maruti SX-4.
“I am very happy that I am the Indian Idol today. I always dreamt I will be very famous,” said Prashant.
“He is a very nice guy. I am very happy that he is the Indian Idol,” said Amit Paul.
And as the teary-eyed 24-year-old Tamang thanked his mother and the police force for allowing him to participate in the contest, the hills of his hometown Darjeeling echoed with sounds of jubilation.
ibnlive.com
பிரதோஷ வழிபாடு செய்யுங்கள்!
பிரதோஷத்தின் போது வழிபாடு செய்தால் வறுமை,பயம், பாவம், மரண வேதனை இவைகள் எல்லாம் விலகும். நன்மைகள் பலவிளையும். இது கடம்பவன புராணத்தில் கூறப்பட்டுள்ளது.
பிரதோஷ நேரம் மாலை 4.30 மணி முதல் 6.00 மணிவரை உள்ள காலம். வளர்பிறை, தேய்பிறை என்ற இரண்டு பட்சங்களிலும் வரும் திரயோதசி திதியன்று பிரதோஷ வழிபாடு நடைபெறுகிறது.
சனிக்கிழமை பிரதோஷம் வந்தால் மிகச் சிறப்பு. சனிப்பிரதோஷ நேரத்தில் சிவாலய வழிபாடு செய்தால் ஐந்து ஆண்டுகள் ஆலய வழிபாடு செய்த பலன் கிடைக்குமாம்.
பிரதோஷ நேரத்தில் ரிஷப தேவருக்கு அருகம்புல் மாலை அணிவித்தும் சிவப்பு அரிசி, நெய்விளக்கு வைத்தும் வழிபட்டால் நலம்.
பிரதோஷத்தன்று ரிஷபதேவரின் இரண்டு கொம்புகளுக்கிடையே சிவலிங்கத்தை கண்டு வணஙகினால் நன்மை பயக்கும்.
(மூலம் - வெப்துனியா)
பிரதோஷ நேரம் மாலை 4.30 மணி முதல் 6.00 மணிவரை உள்ள காலம். வளர்பிறை, தேய்பிறை என்ற இரண்டு பட்சங்களிலும் வரும் திரயோதசி திதியன்று பிரதோஷ வழிபாடு நடைபெறுகிறது.
சனிக்கிழமை பிரதோஷம் வந்தால் மிகச் சிறப்பு. சனிப்பிரதோஷ நேரத்தில் சிவாலய வழிபாடு செய்தால் ஐந்து ஆண்டுகள் ஆலய வழிபாடு செய்த பலன் கிடைக்குமாம்.
பிரதோஷ நேரத்தில் ரிஷப தேவருக்கு அருகம்புல் மாலை அணிவித்தும் சிவப்பு அரிசி, நெய்விளக்கு வைத்தும் வழிபட்டால் நலம்.
பிரதோஷத்தன்று ரிஷபதேவரின் இரண்டு கொம்புகளுக்கிடையே சிவலிங்கத்தை கண்டு வணஙகினால் நன்மை பயக்கும்.
(மூலம் - வெப்துனியா)
India ready for biggest match, says Dhoni
Reuters Sunday, September 23, 2007 2:48:49 AM
Durban: Captain Mahendra Singh Dhoni said India were ready for their "biggest match" after they reached the final of the ICC World Twenty20 on Saturday.
India beat Australia by 15 runs in their semi-final to set up a showdown with traditional rivals Pakistan in Johannesburg on Monday.
"It's the biggest stage and the biggest match you can play," Dhoni told a news conference.
"It's a match that needs to be played with intensity and I think we are ready to do that."
Despite the interest that will be generated by the match in the sub-continent, Dhoni said the Indians would not feel the pressure.
"The pressure will be immense, not on us though because I don't believe in taking pressure and none of my team do either," Dhoni said.
"Taking the pressure on board will not help you perform. It will bring down your confidence."
Yuvraj Singh, who spurred India to victory with an aggressive 70 off 30 balls, agreed with his captain.
"India versus Pakistan is a dream final, the whole world is going to be watching," Yuvraj said.
Australia, champions of the 50-over World Cup earlier this year, have dominated world cricket for more than a decade but on Saturday they were left to dwell on a rare defeat.
"We'll go away and talk about it, we'll realise this format is probably going to have a big impact on world cricket," Gilchrist told a news conference. "We need to analyse and put some thought into it.
"There's no-one up there in our dressing room who doesn't care about it.
"It's annoying and frustrating if you go into a competition hoping to win it and you don't."
Durban: Captain Mahendra Singh Dhoni said India were ready for their "biggest match" after they reached the final of the ICC World Twenty20 on Saturday.
India beat Australia by 15 runs in their semi-final to set up a showdown with traditional rivals Pakistan in Johannesburg on Monday.
"It's the biggest stage and the biggest match you can play," Dhoni told a news conference.
"It's a match that needs to be played with intensity and I think we are ready to do that."
Despite the interest that will be generated by the match in the sub-continent, Dhoni said the Indians would not feel the pressure.
"The pressure will be immense, not on us though because I don't believe in taking pressure and none of my team do either," Dhoni said.
"Taking the pressure on board will not help you perform. It will bring down your confidence."
Yuvraj Singh, who spurred India to victory with an aggressive 70 off 30 balls, agreed with his captain.
"India versus Pakistan is a dream final, the whole world is going to be watching," Yuvraj said.
Australia, champions of the 50-over World Cup earlier this year, have dominated world cricket for more than a decade but on Saturday they were left to dwell on a rare defeat.
"We'll go away and talk about it, we'll realise this format is probably going to have a big impact on world cricket," Gilchrist told a news conference. "We need to analyse and put some thought into it.
"There's no-one up there in our dressing room who doesn't care about it.
"It's annoying and frustrating if you go into a competition hoping to win it and you don't."
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Did Lord Ram exist?
By IBNlive.com
Sunday September 23, 03:32 AM
New Delhi: Did Ram exist or not? The question has overshadowed the real debate in Chennai and in Delhi. And once again, it’s up to the Supreme Court to dig up the answers.
The Supreme Court is currently examining all the six petitions against the Sethu Samudram project pending before various high courts, then object to the project on religious and environmental grounds.
“Today Sri Ram has won. The centre has bowed down to the Supreme Court accepting that the Sethu Samudram canal project can hurt the sentiments of millions of Hindus,” said BJP President Subramanyam Swamy.
The ASI…exceeded its brief… declaring Ram a myth.. saying the Ram Sethu was not man-made… and that the Ramayan… was not a historical record...
A red-faced faced Central Government has now sought 3 months to try and resolve the issue.
“Ram is an integral part of the lives of the Hindus of this country and it cannot be alienated from our ethos. We have decided to file a supplementary affidavit and litigation,” said Union Law Minister H R Bharadwaj.
But the UPA's troubles aren't over. Shipping Minister and senior DMK leader, T.R.Baalu wants the dredging at the canal site to carry on.
Many years ago politicians realized that Ram was a risky business and called upon the courts to decide the Babery dispute, Now that the Adam’s bridge is in the eye of a storm, the UPA does not wants its government to sink and has called on the court to take a final call.
We brought you a range of perspectives but some questions remain unanswered. For instance will the Sethu Samudram project destroy the fragile marine economy of the region? Will it end up being a white elephant? And most importantly will the government be able to negotiate the tricky question of faith associated with the narrow stretches of water?
Sunday September 23, 03:32 AM
New Delhi: Did Ram exist or not? The question has overshadowed the real debate in Chennai and in Delhi. And once again, it’s up to the Supreme Court to dig up the answers.
The Supreme Court is currently examining all the six petitions against the Sethu Samudram project pending before various high courts, then object to the project on religious and environmental grounds.
“Today Sri Ram has won. The centre has bowed down to the Supreme Court accepting that the Sethu Samudram canal project can hurt the sentiments of millions of Hindus,” said BJP President Subramanyam Swamy.
The ASI…exceeded its brief… declaring Ram a myth.. saying the Ram Sethu was not man-made… and that the Ramayan… was not a historical record...
A red-faced faced Central Government has now sought 3 months to try and resolve the issue.
“Ram is an integral part of the lives of the Hindus of this country and it cannot be alienated from our ethos. We have decided to file a supplementary affidavit and litigation,” said Union Law Minister H R Bharadwaj.
But the UPA's troubles aren't over. Shipping Minister and senior DMK leader, T.R.Baalu wants the dredging at the canal site to carry on.
Many years ago politicians realized that Ram was a risky business and called upon the courts to decide the Babery dispute, Now that the Adam’s bridge is in the eye of a storm, the UPA does not wants its government to sink and has called on the court to take a final call.
We brought you a range of perspectives but some questions remain unanswered. For instance will the Sethu Samudram project destroy the fragile marine economy of the region? Will it end up being a white elephant? And most importantly will the government be able to negotiate the tricky question of faith associated with the narrow stretches of water?
Friday, September 21, 2007
Four Indian-Americans in Forbes richest list
September 22, 2007 10:47 IST
Four Indian Americans have made it to the Forbes list of richest Americans this year. They are acoustics pioneer Amar Bose, Google founder director Kavitark Shriram, venture capitalist Vinod Khosla and Bharat Desai, CEO of an info-tech outsourcing firm.
The 77-year-old Sultan of sound, Amar Bose, shares the 271st place in the list with the founder director of Google Kavitark Shriram, with a net worth of US$ 1.8 billion.
Both Bose and Shriram shared the 242nd spot last year. Though they rank lower on the list this year, their personal fortunes have gone up from US$ 1.5 billion to US$ 1.8 billion.
Bose, an acoustics pioneer, formed his firm 43 years ago, which today thrives on the latest in iPod speaker docks, home theatre systems, noise-killing headphones, with a sale of US$ 2 billion.
Fifty-one-year-old Kavitark Shriram, an India-born financier, is an early investor and a board member of Google who owns 1.7 million shares worth US$ 870 million.
Another NRI Bharat Desai and his wife Neerja Sethi, founders of an info-tech outsourcing firm Syntel, have been ranked 286th with a fortune of US$1.7 billion in the list.
Venture capitalist Vinod Khosla, who has appeared in the list frequently, is ranked 317th this year with a net worth of US$ 1.5 billion.
Desai, who was born in Kenya but moved to India at the age of 11, has studied engineering at the Indian Institute of Technology and worked with the Tata Consultancy Services [Get Quote] in 1976.
Desai earned a MBA from the University of Michigan and founded info-tech outsourcing firm Syntel with his wife Neerja Sethil. He is also an international level bridge player and has represented India in the 1995 world championship.
Bose, who started repairing radios in high school to help his family after his father's import business was hit by World War II, earned a PhD in electrical engineering from Massachusetts Institute of Technology and started research in hi-fi sound.
He founded Bose Corp in 1964 and won contracts with NASA and the US military to improve radio communications. His brand is known for its groundbreaking loudspeaker design and he presently owns 60 per cent stake in the company.
Khosla, 52, studied engineering at the Indian Institute of Technology, did his Masters in biomedical at Carnegie Mellon and MBA at Stanford.
He co-founded Daisy Systems, an electronic design automation company, in the early 1980s. Khosla then joined Andy von Bechtolsheim, Scott McNealy and Bill Joy to form Sun Microsystems.
After being the chief executive of the company for a short stint, he turned into a full-time investor in 1986. In 2004, he formed Khosla Ventures to fund research projects.
The price of admission to America's most exclusive club is now US$1.3 billion, instead of a billion. America had a record 313 billionaires this year, up from 262 last year, according to the list published in Forbes
Four Indian Americans have made it to the Forbes list of richest Americans this year. They are acoustics pioneer Amar Bose, Google founder director Kavitark Shriram, venture capitalist Vinod Khosla and Bharat Desai, CEO of an info-tech outsourcing firm.
The 77-year-old Sultan of sound, Amar Bose, shares the 271st place in the list with the founder director of Google Kavitark Shriram, with a net worth of US$ 1.8 billion.
Both Bose and Shriram shared the 242nd spot last year. Though they rank lower on the list this year, their personal fortunes have gone up from US$ 1.5 billion to US$ 1.8 billion.
Bose, an acoustics pioneer, formed his firm 43 years ago, which today thrives on the latest in iPod speaker docks, home theatre systems, noise-killing headphones, with a sale of US$ 2 billion.
Fifty-one-year-old Kavitark Shriram, an India-born financier, is an early investor and a board member of Google who owns 1.7 million shares worth US$ 870 million.
Another NRI Bharat Desai and his wife Neerja Sethi, founders of an info-tech outsourcing firm Syntel, have been ranked 286th with a fortune of US$1.7 billion in the list.
Venture capitalist Vinod Khosla, who has appeared in the list frequently, is ranked 317th this year with a net worth of US$ 1.5 billion.
Desai, who was born in Kenya but moved to India at the age of 11, has studied engineering at the Indian Institute of Technology and worked with the Tata Consultancy Services [Get Quote] in 1976.
Desai earned a MBA from the University of Michigan and founded info-tech outsourcing firm Syntel with his wife Neerja Sethil. He is also an international level bridge player and has represented India in the 1995 world championship.
Bose, who started repairing radios in high school to help his family after his father's import business was hit by World War II, earned a PhD in electrical engineering from Massachusetts Institute of Technology and started research in hi-fi sound.
He founded Bose Corp in 1964 and won contracts with NASA and the US military to improve radio communications. His brand is known for its groundbreaking loudspeaker design and he presently owns 60 per cent stake in the company.
Khosla, 52, studied engineering at the Indian Institute of Technology, did his Masters in biomedical at Carnegie Mellon and MBA at Stanford.
He co-founded Daisy Systems, an electronic design automation company, in the early 1980s. Khosla then joined Andy von Bechtolsheim, Scott McNealy and Bill Joy to form Sun Microsystems.
After being the chief executive of the company for a short stint, he turned into a full-time investor in 1986. In 2004, he formed Khosla Ventures to fund research projects.
The price of admission to America's most exclusive club is now US$1.3 billion, instead of a billion. America had a record 313 billionaires this year, up from 262 last year, according to the list published in Forbes
On 100th day of Sivaji, the Boss still rules
New Delhi: The Boss continues to rule. The Rajnikanth starrer blockbuster Sivaji - The Boss which released in June this year, is set to complete its 100th day on Saturday in 111 theatres in India and abroad.
The Tamil superstar's fans are planning celebrations to mark the occasion for the 100th day of the film, which is the first in the history of regional cinema to go beyond the Tamil-speaking audience and make its presence felt pan-India and beyond.
The film was released in 235 theatres across Tamil Nadu and as many screens outside the state on June 15.
"Around 102 theatres in Tamil Nadu will celebrate the 100th day of
screening the movie on Saturday," news agency PTI quoted AVM Productions CEO S C Babu as saying.
"The film is still running in almost 10 to 20 per cent of the theatres it which it was released outside Tamil Nadu, especially in Kerala and Karnataka," Babu added.
A Mumbai theatre will mark the 100th day of the blockbuster on Saturday. As for outside India, the film will complete 100 days in six theatres in Malaysia, two in Sri Lanka and one in Singapore.
Rajnikanth, who has a huge following in Tamil Nadu and abroad, broke records for collections by a Tamil film not only in India but also abroad.
The film is still collecting 7,000 pounds a week in a theatre in Britain and there are a lot of inquiries for the rights to dub the film in Malay, Chinese and Japanese.
In June, Rajinikanth fans, angry at the cancellation of the screening of the film went on rampage at over 10 theatres in Malaysia.
Back at home, the film runs to a packed hall even after so many days since its release.
"Even now, with the film nearing its 100th day, almost 60 per cent of the 948 seats get filled during weekdays and 100 per cent during weekends,” vice-president of Chenna’s Sathyam Cinemas was quoted by PTI as saying.
"The distributor's share for Sivaji - The Boss in a single theatre in Chennai was Rs 1.55 crore, which is an all-time record for the state,” Munikanniah added.
But unlike fans, who have planned a grand celebration outside theatres in Bangalore and Malaysia, the film's producers have no plans for celebrations. They feel the film is running very strong even now and don't want to spoil it by celebrating the 100th day.
THE SIVAJI PHENOMENON Sivaji opened with a record 600-plus prints in Tamil alone. A 160 prints were distributed in the US, the UK, Malaysia, Singapore and Australia. Over 320 prints were released in Telugu for Andhra Pradesh.
IBNLive.com
The Tamil superstar's fans are planning celebrations to mark the occasion for the 100th day of the film, which is the first in the history of regional cinema to go beyond the Tamil-speaking audience and make its presence felt pan-India and beyond.
The film was released in 235 theatres across Tamil Nadu and as many screens outside the state on June 15.
"Around 102 theatres in Tamil Nadu will celebrate the 100th day of
screening the movie on Saturday," news agency PTI quoted AVM Productions CEO S C Babu as saying.
"The film is still running in almost 10 to 20 per cent of the theatres it which it was released outside Tamil Nadu, especially in Kerala and Karnataka," Babu added.
A Mumbai theatre will mark the 100th day of the blockbuster on Saturday. As for outside India, the film will complete 100 days in six theatres in Malaysia, two in Sri Lanka and one in Singapore.
Rajnikanth, who has a huge following in Tamil Nadu and abroad, broke records for collections by a Tamil film not only in India but also abroad.
The film is still collecting 7,000 pounds a week in a theatre in Britain and there are a lot of inquiries for the rights to dub the film in Malay, Chinese and Japanese.
In June, Rajinikanth fans, angry at the cancellation of the screening of the film went on rampage at over 10 theatres in Malaysia.
Back at home, the film runs to a packed hall even after so many days since its release.
"Even now, with the film nearing its 100th day, almost 60 per cent of the 948 seats get filled during weekdays and 100 per cent during weekends,” vice-president of Chenna’s Sathyam Cinemas was quoted by PTI as saying.
"The distributor's share for Sivaji - The Boss in a single theatre in Chennai was Rs 1.55 crore, which is an all-time record for the state,” Munikanniah added.
But unlike fans, who have planned a grand celebration outside theatres in Bangalore and Malaysia, the film's producers have no plans for celebrations. They feel the film is running very strong even now and don't want to spoil it by celebrating the 100th day.
THE SIVAJI PHENOMENON Sivaji opened with a record 600-plus prints in Tamil alone. A 160 prints were distributed in the US, the UK, Malaysia, Singapore and Australia. Over 320 prints were released in Telugu for Andhra Pradesh.
IBNLive.com
Bread Pulao
Ingrediants:
8 pieces of bread slices
Potato 1
Tomato 1
Curry leaves
Mustard
Hing
Salt
Pepper
Ghee 2 Tbspn
A little butter
Juice of one lime
Coriander
Method
Cut the bread slices into small squares (4 by 4 should be good) and keep aside.
Boil the potato.
Cut the potato and the tomato into small pieces.
Heat some ghee in a kadai and add seasoning- mustard seeds, hing and curry leaves.
Add potato. Fry it for sometime.
Add some lemon juice, salt, little pepper and some butter.
After you fry this for sometime, add the tomato. Fry it again for sometime.
Add the bread slices and mix well.
Allow it to cook for sometime.
Garnish it with coriander.
8 pieces of bread slices
Potato 1
Tomato 1
Curry leaves
Mustard
Hing
Salt
Pepper
Ghee 2 Tbspn
A little butter
Juice of one lime
Coriander
Method
Cut the bread slices into small squares (4 by 4 should be good) and keep aside.
Boil the potato.
Cut the potato and the tomato into small pieces.
Heat some ghee in a kadai and add seasoning- mustard seeds, hing and curry leaves.
Add potato. Fry it for sometime.
Add some lemon juice, salt, little pepper and some butter.
After you fry this for sometime, add the tomato. Fry it again for sometime.
Add the bread slices and mix well.
Allow it to cook for sometime.
Garnish it with coriander.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
IT JOKES!!!!!!
Consultants
A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking for a monkey. The storeowner points towards three identical looking monkeys in politically correct, animal-friendly natural mini-habitats.
"The one to the left costs $500," says the storeowner.
"Why so much?" asks the customer.
"Because it can program in C," answers the storeowner.
The customer inquires about the next monkey and is told that "That one costs $1500, because it knows Visual C++ and Object-Relational technology."
The startled man then asks about the third monkey.
"That one costs $3000," answers the storeowner.
"$3000!" exclaims the man. "What can that one do?"
To which the owner replies, "To be honest, I've never seen it do a single thing, but it calls itself a Consultant."
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A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking for a monkey. The storeowner points towards three identical looking monkeys in politically correct, animal-friendly natural mini-habitats.
"The one to the left costs $500," says the storeowner.
"Why so much?" asks the customer.
"Because it can program in C," answers the storeowner.
The customer inquires about the next monkey and is told that "That one costs $1500, because it knows Visual C++ and Object-Relational technology."
The startled man then asks about the third monkey.
"That one costs $3000," answers the storeowner.
"$3000!" exclaims the man. "What can that one do?"
To which the owner replies, "To be honest, I've never seen it do a single thing, but it calls itself a Consultant."
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JOKES!!!!!!!
Bank Robbery:Bholaji and Pyarelal rob a bank and mess it up, managing to escape with two sacks that they find on the floor. And they take one sack each. After awhile they meet again and one asks the other,
'What did you find in your sack?'
'Ten lakh Rupees!'
'Wow... that's a lot! What did you do with the cash?'
'I bought a house. How about your sack?'
'Bah... it was full of loan documents.'
'And what did you do with them?'
'Eh, well... little by little, I'm paying them off...'
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James bond:
Once it so happened in a flight that, James Bond was sitting besides a Telugu guy Both were traveling to US. Telugu Guy: Hello May I know your name please? James Bond: I am Bond... James Bond....... and you? Telugu Guy: I am Sai... Venkata Sai... Siva Venkata Sai ... Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Bulusupalli Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Bond faints!!!!
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'What did you find in your sack?'
'Ten lakh Rupees!'
'Wow... that's a lot! What did you do with the cash?'
'I bought a house. How about your sack?'
'Bah... it was full of loan documents.'
'And what did you do with them?'
'Eh, well... little by little, I'm paying them off...'
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
James bond:
Once it so happened in a flight that, James Bond was sitting besides a Telugu guy Both were traveling to US. Telugu Guy: Hello May I know your name please? James Bond: I am Bond... James Bond....... and you? Telugu Guy: I am Sai... Venkata Sai... Siva Venkata Sai ... Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Bulusupalli Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Bond faints!!!!
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Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Why bridge construction takes forever in India?
An Indian politician went to the U.S. to visit his counterpart. When the senator invited him home for dinner, the minister was very impressed by the lavish mansion and lush grounds and costly furnishings. "But how can you afford all this on a meager senator's salary?" the minister asked. The senator smiled knowingly and took him to the window. "You see that river?"
"Yes."
"You see the bridge over it?"
"Of course," said the minister.
"Ten percent," the senator said smugly.
Some time later, the senator had occasion to pay a return visit. The Indian minister lavished all hospitality on him. When they came to the minister's house, the American was stunned by the huge palace the minister had built, which glittered with precious art and bustled with hundreds of servants. "But how can you possibly afford this, on a salary in Indian rupees?" the senator asked, amazed.
The minister called him to the window. "See the river over there?"
"Sure," said the senator.
"Can you see the bridge over it?"
The senator looked confused and said, "No, I'm afraid I don't see any bridge."
The minister grinned and said, "One hundred percent."
"Yes."
"You see the bridge over it?"
"Of course," said the minister.
"Ten percent," the senator said smugly.
Some time later, the senator had occasion to pay a return visit. The Indian minister lavished all hospitality on him. When they came to the minister's house, the American was stunned by the huge palace the minister had built, which glittered with precious art and bustled with hundreds of servants. "But how can you possibly afford this, on a salary in Indian rupees?" the senator asked, amazed.
The minister called him to the window. "See the river over there?"
"Sure," said the senator.
"Can you see the bridge over it?"
The senator looked confused and said, "No, I'm afraid I don't see any bridge."
The minister grinned and said, "One hundred percent."
Software Development Process
1)Order the T-shirts for the Development team
2)Announce availability
3)Write the code
4)Write the manual
5)Hire a Product Manager
6)Spec the software (writing the specs after the code helps to ensure that the software meets the specifications)
7)Ship
8)Test (the customers are a big help here)
9)Identify bugs as potential enhancements
10)Announce the upgrade program
2)Announce availability
3)Write the code
4)Write the manual
5)Hire a Product Manager
6)Spec the software (writing the specs after the code helps to ensure that the software meets the specifications)
7)Ship
8)Test (the customers are a big help here)
9)Identify bugs as potential enhancements
10)Announce the upgrade program
Sardar jokes
Air travel
One sardu was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane.He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. But as soon as the sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady.After some time the old lady came and requested the sardarji to leave the side seat.But the sardaji told:"I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave". The old lady then complained to the air hostess .The air hostess came and requested the sardarji to leave that seat.But sardarji was adament and did not leave.Then the air hostess went and told the asst capt.He also came and requested,but in vain.
Finally the Captain came.He whispered something in the ears of the sardarji,and the sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat. Astonished,the airhostess and the asst. capt. asked the capt afterwards what he told to the sardarji.Capt. told :"nothing.Ijust told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh. All others will go to Jalandhar."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bus ride
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a driver."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One sardu was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane.He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. But as soon as the sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady.After some time the old lady came and requested the sardarji to leave the side seat.But the sardaji told:"I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave". The old lady then complained to the air hostess .The air hostess came and requested the sardarji to leave that seat.But sardarji was adament and did not leave.Then the air hostess went and told the asst capt.He also came and requested,but in vain.
Finally the Captain came.He whispered something in the ears of the sardarji,and the sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat. Astonished,the airhostess and the asst. capt. asked the capt afterwards what he told to the sardarji.Capt. told :"nothing.Ijust told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh. All others will go to Jalandhar."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bus ride
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a driver."
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Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Tech support and customer
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
--------------------------------------------------
Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
.Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support:: ?!%#$
--------------------------------------------------
.Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
--------------------------------------------------
6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer:: "A white one."
--------------------------------------------------
Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer:: "How do you spell that?"
-------------------------------------
Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print
document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
--------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24
hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
--------------------------------------------------
Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support:: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
--------------------------------------------------
customer care officer:I need a product identification no: right now and
may I help u in finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
--------------------------------------------------
Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
.Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support:: ?!%#$
--------------------------------------------------
.Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
--------------------------------------------------
6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer:: "A white one."
--------------------------------------------------
Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer:: "How do you spell that?"
-------------------------------------
Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print
document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
--------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24
hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
--------------------------------------------------
Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support:: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
--------------------------------------------------
customer care officer:I need a product identification no: right now and
may I help u in finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer
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The Management Lessons
Story # 1
It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.
Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"
Fox: "Hmm... But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your big claws will only destroy it even more."
Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches"
Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"
The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself. Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.
Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"
Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV
Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"
The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.
Scene :
Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.
Moral :
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.
Management Lesson in the context of the working world :
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES
Story # 2
It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.
Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."
Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
Fox: "That's ridiculous ! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!
Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"
They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing.
Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
Wolf: "What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
Wolf: "you don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing. Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."
Bear: "Well that's absurd!"
Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"
Scene : As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.
Moral:
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHOM YOU HAVE AS A SUPERVISOR.
Management Lesson in the context of the working world:
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU OR NOT
Net il suttadhu!
It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.
Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"
Fox: "Hmm... But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your big claws will only destroy it even more."
Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches"
Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"
The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself. Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.
Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"
Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV
Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"
The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.
Scene :
Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.
Moral :
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.
Management Lesson in the context of the working world :
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES
Story # 2
It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.
Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."
Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
Fox: "That's ridiculous ! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!
Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"
They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing.
Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
Wolf: "What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
Wolf: "you don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing. Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."
Bear: "Well that's absurd!"
Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"
Scene : As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.
Moral:
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHOM YOU HAVE AS A SUPERVISOR.
Management Lesson in the context of the working world:
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU OR NOT
Net il suttadhu!
The Corporate Language
1."We will do it" means" You will do it"
2."You have done a great job" means" More work to be given to you"
3."We are working on it" means" We have not yet started working on the same"
4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means" It’s not getting done "At least not tomorrow!"
5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
6."There was a slight miscommunication" means" We had actually lied"
7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means" I have no time now, will talk later"
8."We can always do it" means" We actually cannot do the same on time"
9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
10."We had slight differences of opinion "means" We had actually fought"
11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means" Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
12."You should have told me earlier" means" Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
13."We need to find out the real reason" means" Well I will tell you where your fault is"
14."Well Family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected," means, " Well you know..."
2."You have done a great job" means" More work to be given to you"
3."We are working on it" means" We have not yet started working on the same"
4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means" It’s not getting done "At least not tomorrow!"
5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
6."There was a slight miscommunication" means" We had actually lied"
7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means" I have no time now, will talk later"
8."We can always do it" means" We actually cannot do the same on time"
9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
10."We had slight differences of opinion "means" We had actually fought"
11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means" Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
12."You should have told me earlier" means" Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
13."We need to find out the real reason" means" Well I will tell you where your fault is"
14."Well Family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected," means, " Well you know..."
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Just for Laugh!!!!!
ஒரு அமெரிக்கன், ஜப்பானியன், இந்தியன் மூவரும் கடவுளை காண நேரிட்டது. கடவுள் அவர்களிடம் ஆளுக்கு ஒரு கேள்வி கேட்கலாம் என்றார்.
அமெரிக்கன் "எனது நாடு முன்னேற எத்தனை நாட்களாகும்?" என்றான். கடவுள் அவனிடம் "உனது நாடு முன்னேற 30 வருடங்களாகும்" என்றார். உடனே அமெரிக்கன் அழ ஆரம்பித்தான். கடவுள் அவனிடம் "ஏனப்பா அழுகிறாய்" என் கேட்க, அவன் "எனது நாடு முன்னேறுவதை பார்க்க நான் உயிரோடு இருப்பேனா இல்லையோ" என்றான்.
பின்பு, ஜப்பானியன் "எனது நாடு முன்னேற எத்தனை நாட்களாகும்?" என்றான். கடவுள் அவனிடம் "உனது நாடு முன்னேற 50 வருடங்களாகும்" என்றார். உடனே ஜப்பானியன் அழ ஆரம்பித்தான். கடவுள் அவனிடம் "ஏனப்பா அழுகிறாய்" என் கேட்க, அவன் "எனது நாடு முன்னேறுவதை பார்க்க நான் உயிரோடு இருப்பேனா இல்லையோ" என்றான்.
பின்பு, இந்தியன் "எனது நாடு முன்னேற எத்தனை நாட்களாகும்?" என்றான். உடனே கடவுள் அழ ஆரம்பித்தார். அவனோ புரியாமல் "கடவுளே, நீர் ஏன் அழுகிறீர், நானல்லவா அழ வேண்டும்?" என்றான். கடவுள் அவனிடம் "உனது நாடு முன்னேறுவதை பார்க்க நானே உயிரோடு இருப்பேனா இல்லையோ" என்றார்
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How to ask your Boss for a salary increase..?
One day you'll send a letter to your US-Based boss asking for an increase in your salary !
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately.I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$
of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
The next day, you received this letter of reply:
Oh my dear:
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the Industry may go into aNOther recession. After NOvember events things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean....Don't You???
Your KNOwledgeable Boss
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
click here:
http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/georgie.htm
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அமெரிக்கன் "எனது நாடு முன்னேற எத்தனை நாட்களாகும்?" என்றான். கடவுள் அவனிடம் "உனது நாடு முன்னேற 30 வருடங்களாகும்" என்றார். உடனே அமெரிக்கன் அழ ஆரம்பித்தான். கடவுள் அவனிடம் "ஏனப்பா அழுகிறாய்" என் கேட்க, அவன் "எனது நாடு முன்னேறுவதை பார்க்க நான் உயிரோடு இருப்பேனா இல்லையோ" என்றான்.
பின்பு, ஜப்பானியன் "எனது நாடு முன்னேற எத்தனை நாட்களாகும்?" என்றான். கடவுள் அவனிடம் "உனது நாடு முன்னேற 50 வருடங்களாகும்" என்றார். உடனே ஜப்பானியன் அழ ஆரம்பித்தான். கடவுள் அவனிடம் "ஏனப்பா அழுகிறாய்" என் கேட்க, அவன் "எனது நாடு முன்னேறுவதை பார்க்க நான் உயிரோடு இருப்பேனா இல்லையோ" என்றான்.
பின்பு, இந்தியன் "எனது நாடு முன்னேற எத்தனை நாட்களாகும்?" என்றான். உடனே கடவுள் அழ ஆரம்பித்தார். அவனோ புரியாமல் "கடவுளே, நீர் ஏன் அழுகிறீர், நானல்லவா அழ வேண்டும்?" என்றான். கடவுள் அவனிடம் "உனது நாடு முன்னேறுவதை பார்க்க நானே உயிரோடு இருப்பேனா இல்லையோ" என்றார்
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How to ask your Boss for a salary increase..?
One day you'll send a letter to your US-Based boss asking for an increase in your salary !
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately.I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$
of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
The next day, you received this letter of reply:
Oh my dear:
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the Industry may go into aNOther recession. After NOvember events things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean....Don't You???
Your KNOwledgeable Boss
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
click here:
http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/georgie.htm
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardharji jokes
Once a Sardharji, by name Milka Singh, was in Europe and he was sitting in a beach in relaxed position.
An Europian came ans asked "Hey, are you relaxing..?"
He replied : "No, I am Milka Singh"
that europian left from there and another man came and asked "are you relaxing..?"
Sardharji replied : No,no, I am Milka Singh"
a third man came and asked the same question and got the same reply from him.
Then sardharji decided, this is not the suitable place for him, so better to move to a distance. There he found another sardharji (who knows English well) in a relaxed manner.
Milka singh asked him : "Are you relaxing..?"
The new sardharji replied "Yes, I am relaxing"
Milka singh told :"My God... somebody is searching you there..."
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How do you will find a Sardar in a class room?
One who rubs his notes when teacher is cleaning the board
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சர்தார்ஜிகள் முட்டாள்கள் அல்ல என்பதை நிரூபிக்க ஒரு மாநாடு...
ஒரு சர்தாஜியிடம் நடுவர்கள் கேள்வி கேட்கிறார்..
5 தும் 5 தும் எவ்வளவு...
சர்தார்ஜி 8 என்கிறார்...உடனே கூடி இருந்த சர்தார்ஜிகள் அவருக்கு மேலும் ஒரு வாய்ப்பு கொடுங்கள் என்று கத்துகிறார்கள்...
சரி ஓகே...
4 லும் 4 லும் எவ்வளவு
சர்தார்ஜி 7 என்கிறார்...உடனே கூடி இருந்த சர்தார்ஜிகள் அவருக்கு மேலும் ஒரு வாய்ப்பு கொடுங்கள் என்று கத்துகிறார்கள்...
சரி ஓகே... மேலும் ஒரு வாய்ப்பளிக்கிறார்
2 டும் 2 டும் எவ்வளவு
சர்தார்ஜி 4 என்கிறார்...உடனே கூடி இருந்த சர்தார்ஜிகள் சற்றும் தாமதிக்காமல் அவருக்கு மேலும் ஒரு வாய்ப்பு கொடுங்கள் என்று கத்துகிறார்கள்...
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சர்தார்: கொஞ்ச நாளாவே கண் மங்கலாத் தெரியுது.
நண்பர்: நல்ல கண் டாக்டராப் பாரேன்
சர்தார்: பார்த்தேனே. அவரும் மங்கலாத்தான் தெரியிராரு.
==================
ஒரு நேர்காணýல்....
கேள்வி கேட்பவர்: மின்சார மோட்டார் எப்படி வேலை செய்கிறது?
சர்தார்: டுர்ர்ர்ர்ர்ர்ர்ர்ர்ர்ர்ர்..
.
கேள்வி கேட்டவர் (கத்தியபடி): நிறுத்து.
சர்தார்: டுர் டுப் டுப் டுப் டுப்.
==================
சர்தார் வாங்கிய லாட்டரிச் சீட்டிற்கு 10 கோடி விழுந்தது.
அந்தச் சீட்டின் விநியோகஸ்தர், வரிக் கழிவு போக 7 கோடியைத் தந்தார். சர்தார் அவரிடம் கோபப்பட்டார்: "எனக்கு 10 கோடி ரூபாயையும் முழுசாக் கொடுங்க; இல்லாட்டி நான் கொடுத்த 20 ரூபாயைக் கொடுத்திடுங்க."
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ஒரு சர்தார்ஜி அழகான் பெண்ணிடம் இன்று இரவு என் வீட்டுக்கு வா யாரும் இருக்க மாட்டார்கள் என்று சொன்னார்..
அந்த பெண்ணும் போனாள்...
அவர் கூறியது போல் வீட்டில் யாரும் இல்லை...
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சர்தார் 1: ரெயிலைக் கண்டுபிடிச்சது ரொம்ப நல்லதாப் போச்சு.
சர்தார் 2: ஏன்?
சர்தார் 1: இல்லேன்னா தண்டவாளம் எல்லாம் வீணாப் போயிருக்கும்.
======================
சர்தார் 1: எவனோ பூட்டை உடைச்சு 1000 ரூபாயைத் திருடிட்டான்..!
சர்தார் 2: நீ எப்படி பூட்டுக்குள்ள 1000 ரூபாயை வச்ச?
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Three Construction workers are working on the 20th floor of a tall building in Bombay. One is a Mallu, the second is a Bengali and the third is a Sardarji.
Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch together One fine day -- the Mallu opened his lunch box and finds idlis in the box.
He says " I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I find idlis in the box tommorow, I will jump from the 20th floor and die".
Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds Fish in it and says " If I find fish in my lunch box tommorow, I am going to jump from the 20th floor of this building and die "
Next the Sardarji opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and says " Mother promise, if I find parathas in my box tommorow I am also going to jump from the 20th floor"
Next day the three friends meet in the lunch room for lunch. Mallu opens his lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
Sardarji opens his box and finds parathas and he also jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their colleagues, the Mallu's widow says " I did not know he hated idlis so much. I would have packed something else for his lunch "
The Bengali's widow says " I did not know he hated fish so much. I would have packed something else for his lunch"
The sardarji's widow says " I do not understand what went wrong. My husband always prepared his own lunch....!!!
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Sardar Director : You should jump to the swimming pool from 100 feet height.
Actor : I Don't know swimming.
Sardar Director : Aray saab Don't worry, there is no water
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Sardar got into the bus on 1st April. When conductor asked for ticket, he gave Rs. 10 and took the ticket and said "APRIL FOOL I HAVE THE PASS"
====================================================================================
indru avlo thaan suda mudindhadhu !!!!!!!!!!!!
An Europian came ans asked "Hey, are you relaxing..?"
He replied : "No, I am Milka Singh"
that europian left from there and another man came and asked "are you relaxing..?"
Sardharji replied : No,no, I am Milka Singh"
a third man came and asked the same question and got the same reply from him.
Then sardharji decided, this is not the suitable place for him, so better to move to a distance. There he found another sardharji (who knows English well) in a relaxed manner.
Milka singh asked him : "Are you relaxing..?"
The new sardharji replied "Yes, I am relaxing"
Milka singh told :"My God... somebody is searching you there..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you will find a Sardar in a class room?
One who rubs his notes when teacher is cleaning the board
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
சர்தார்ஜிகள் முட்டாள்கள் அல்ல என்பதை நிரூபிக்க ஒரு மாநாடு...
ஒரு சர்தாஜியிடம் நடுவர்கள் கேள்வி கேட்கிறார்..
5 தும் 5 தும் எவ்வளவு...
சர்தார்ஜி 8 என்கிறார்...உடனே கூடி இருந்த சர்தார்ஜிகள் அவருக்கு மேலும் ஒரு வாய்ப்பு கொடுங்கள் என்று கத்துகிறார்கள்...
சரி ஓகே...
4 லும் 4 லும் எவ்வளவு
சர்தார்ஜி 7 என்கிறார்...உடனே கூடி இருந்த சர்தார்ஜிகள் அவருக்கு மேலும் ஒரு வாய்ப்பு கொடுங்கள் என்று கத்துகிறார்கள்...
சரி ஓகே... மேலும் ஒரு வாய்ப்பளிக்கிறார்
2 டும் 2 டும் எவ்வளவு
சர்தார்ஜி 4 என்கிறார்...உடனே கூடி இருந்த சர்தார்ஜிகள் சற்றும் தாமதிக்காமல் அவருக்கு மேலும் ஒரு வாய்ப்பு கொடுங்கள் என்று கத்துகிறார்கள்...
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சர்தார்: கொஞ்ச நாளாவே கண் மங்கலாத் தெரியுது.
நண்பர்: நல்ல கண் டாக்டராப் பாரேன்
சர்தார்: பார்த்தேனே. அவரும் மங்கலாத்தான் தெரியிராரு.
==================
ஒரு நேர்காணýல்....
கேள்வி கேட்பவர்: மின்சார மோட்டார் எப்படி வேலை செய்கிறது?
சர்தார்: டுர்ர்ர்ர்ர்ர்ர்ர்ர்ர்ர்ர்..
.
கேள்வி கேட்டவர் (கத்தியபடி): நிறுத்து.
சர்தார்: டுர் டுப் டுப் டுப் டுப்.
==================
சர்தார் வாங்கிய லாட்டரிச் சீட்டிற்கு 10 கோடி விழுந்தது.
அந்தச் சீட்டின் விநியோகஸ்தர், வரிக் கழிவு போக 7 கோடியைத் தந்தார். சர்தார் அவரிடம் கோபப்பட்டார்: "எனக்கு 10 கோடி ரூபாயையும் முழுசாக் கொடுங்க; இல்லாட்டி நான் கொடுத்த 20 ரூபாயைக் கொடுத்திடுங்க."
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ஒரு சர்தார்ஜி அழகான் பெண்ணிடம் இன்று இரவு என் வீட்டுக்கு வா யாரும் இருக்க மாட்டார்கள் என்று சொன்னார்..
அந்த பெண்ணும் போனாள்...
அவர் கூறியது போல் வீட்டில் யாரும் இல்லை...
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சர்தார் 1: ரெயிலைக் கண்டுபிடிச்சது ரொம்ப நல்லதாப் போச்சு.
சர்தார் 2: ஏன்?
சர்தார் 1: இல்லேன்னா தண்டவாளம் எல்லாம் வீணாப் போயிருக்கும்.
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சர்தார் 1: எவனோ பூட்டை உடைச்சு 1000 ரூபாயைத் திருடிட்டான்..!
சர்தார் 2: நீ எப்படி பூட்டுக்குள்ள 1000 ரூபாயை வச்ச?
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Three Construction workers are working on the 20th floor of a tall building in Bombay. One is a Mallu, the second is a Bengali and the third is a Sardarji.
Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch together One fine day -- the Mallu opened his lunch box and finds idlis in the box.
He says " I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I find idlis in the box tommorow, I will jump from the 20th floor and die".
Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds Fish in it and says " If I find fish in my lunch box tommorow, I am going to jump from the 20th floor of this building and die "
Next the Sardarji opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and says " Mother promise, if I find parathas in my box tommorow I am also going to jump from the 20th floor"
Next day the three friends meet in the lunch room for lunch. Mallu opens his lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
Sardarji opens his box and finds parathas and he also jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their colleagues, the Mallu's widow says " I did not know he hated idlis so much. I would have packed something else for his lunch "
The Bengali's widow says " I did not know he hated fish so much. I would have packed something else for his lunch"
The sardarji's widow says " I do not understand what went wrong. My husband always prepared his own lunch....!!!
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Sardar Director : You should jump to the swimming pool from 100 feet height.
Actor : I Don't know swimming.
Sardar Director : Aray saab Don't worry, there is no water
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Sardar got into the bus on 1st April. When conductor asked for ticket, he gave Rs. 10 and took the ticket and said "APRIL FOOL I HAVE THE PASS"
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indru avlo thaan suda mudindhadhu !!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, September 15, 2007
stupid Questions .. perfect answers
Are you chewing gum?
"No, I'm John Smith."
"I want to buy a dress to put on around the house."
"Yes, Madam. How large is your house?"
"What are you going to be when you graduate?"
"An old man"
"I spent three years in college taking medicine."
"Are you well now?"
"Do you say a prayer before you eat?"
"No, we don't have to. My mother is a good cook."
"I've got a surprise for you, honey. I brought a friend home for dinner."
"Who wants to eat friends?"
"We are having mother for dinner, darling."
"Make sure she's well done."
"I want some rat poison."
"Should I wrap it up or do you want to eat it right here?"
"It seems that everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other."
"Well, I guess that's why I've got two ears."
"May I hold your hand?"
"No, thanks, It isn't heavy."
"Does water always come through the roof in this place?"
"No, sir, only when it rains."
"When will you straighten out the house, dear?"
"Why? Is it tilted?"
"Do these stairs take you to the second floor?"
"No, you'll have to walk"
"Now that you're married, you should have some insurance"
"But why? My wife isn't dangerous."
"I have changed my mind."
"Thank heavens! Does it work better now?"
"Would you like your coffee black?"
"What other colors do you have
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"No, I'm John Smith."
"I want to buy a dress to put on around the house."
"Yes, Madam. How large is your house?"
"What are you going to be when you graduate?"
"An old man"
"I spent three years in college taking medicine."
"Are you well now?"
"Do you say a prayer before you eat?"
"No, we don't have to. My mother is a good cook."
"I've got a surprise for you, honey. I brought a friend home for dinner."
"Who wants to eat friends?"
"We are having mother for dinner, darling."
"Make sure she's well done."
"I want some rat poison."
"Should I wrap it up or do you want to eat it right here?"
"It seems that everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other."
"Well, I guess that's why I've got two ears."
"May I hold your hand?"
"No, thanks, It isn't heavy."
"Does water always come through the roof in this place?"
"No, sir, only when it rains."
"When will you straighten out the house, dear?"
"Why? Is it tilted?"
"Do these stairs take you to the second floor?"
"No, you'll have to walk"
"Now that you're married, you should have some insurance"
"But why? My wife isn't dangerous."
"I have changed my mind."
"Thank heavens! Does it work better now?"
"Would you like your coffee black?"
"What other colors do you have
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SWEETS- Pista, Cashew Burfi
PISTA BARFI
Cooking Time : 20 mins.
Preparation Time : 10 mins.
Makes approx. 1 1/4 cups.
Ingredients
1 cup (100 grams) pistachios
1/2 cup (50 grams) sugar
1/4 teaspoon cardamom powder
a few drops of green food colouring (optional)
Method
1. Soak the pistachios in warm water for about 30 minutes.
2. Drain all the water, peel the pistachios and blend them to a fine paste in a food processor. Keep aside.
3. Dissolve the sugar in 1/2 cup of water and prepare a syrup of one string consistency.
4. Add the pista paste, cardamom powder and green colour and cook over a slow flame, stirring continuously till the mixture leaves the sides of the pan (approx. 5 to 7 minutes).
5. Transfer to a plate and cool slightly. Keep aside.
6. Use as required.
CASHEW BARFI
Cooking Time : 20 mins.
Preparation Time : 10 mins.
Makes 1 1/4 cups.
Ingredients
1 cup (100 grams) cashewnuts, broken
1/2 cup (50 grams) sugar
1/4 teaspoon canned powder
Method
1. Soak the cashewnuts in warm water for about 30 minutes and wash them 2 to 3 times.
2. Drain all the water out and blend the cashewnuts to a fine paste. Keep aside.
3. Dissolve the sugar in 1/2 cup of water and prepare a syrup of one string consistency.
4. Add the cashew paste and cook over a medium flame, stirring continuously till the mixture leaves the sides of the pan (approx. 5 to 7 minutes).
5. Transfer to a plate and cool slightly. Keep aside.
Cooking Time : 20 mins.
Preparation Time : 10 mins.
Makes approx. 1 1/4 cups.
Ingredients
1 cup (100 grams) pistachios
1/2 cup (50 grams) sugar
1/4 teaspoon cardamom powder
a few drops of green food colouring (optional)
Method
1. Soak the pistachios in warm water for about 30 minutes.
2. Drain all the water, peel the pistachios and blend them to a fine paste in a food processor. Keep aside.
3. Dissolve the sugar in 1/2 cup of water and prepare a syrup of one string consistency.
4. Add the pista paste, cardamom powder and green colour and cook over a slow flame, stirring continuously till the mixture leaves the sides of the pan (approx. 5 to 7 minutes).
5. Transfer to a plate and cool slightly. Keep aside.
6. Use as required.
CASHEW BARFI
Cooking Time : 20 mins.
Preparation Time : 10 mins.
Makes 1 1/4 cups.
Ingredients
1 cup (100 grams) cashewnuts, broken
1/2 cup (50 grams) sugar
1/4 teaspoon canned powder
Method
1. Soak the cashewnuts in warm water for about 30 minutes and wash them 2 to 3 times.
2. Drain all the water out and blend the cashewnuts to a fine paste. Keep aside.
3. Dissolve the sugar in 1/2 cup of water and prepare a syrup of one string consistency.
4. Add the cashew paste and cook over a medium flame, stirring continuously till the mixture leaves the sides of the pan (approx. 5 to 7 minutes).
5. Transfer to a plate and cool slightly. Keep aside.
‘‘நீங்கள் உத்தமரா தங்கர்?’’ -விளாசும் சேரன்
நண்பன் தங்கருக்கு...
சென்ற வார விகடன் இதழில், உங்கள் நேர்காணலைப் பார்த்தேன்.
ஒவ்வொருத்தருக்கும் எதிரி ஒருத்தன் உள்ளுக்குள்ளேயே இருப்பான். சிலருக்கு அவங்க நேர்மையே எதிரி! இன்னும் சிலருக்கு அவங்க திறமையே எதிரியாகும். ஆனா, உங்களுக்கு உங்க வாய்தான் எதிரி. என்னை நன்றி மறந்தவனாகச் சித்திரிச்சிருக்கீங்க. ஆனா, உண்மை என்ன தங்கர்?
‘பள்ளிக்கூடம்’ கதையை நீங்க என்னிடம் விவரிச்சப்போ, அது ‘அழகி’யையும் ‘ஆட்டோகிராஃப்’பையும் நினைவுபடுத்துதுன்னு சொன்னேன். இதில் நீங்களும் நானும் நடிச்சா, இவங்களுக்கு வேற வேலையே இல்லையான்னு மக்கள் நினைச்சிடுவாங்கன்னு மட்டும்-தான் சொன்னேன். வேறு நடிகர்கள் நடிச்சா, அது தெரியாதுன்னும் சொன்-னேன். ஆனா, பிடிவாதமா நின்னீங்க. இப்போ, அதை மறந்துட்டு என்னென்-னவோ பேசி இருக்கீங்க.
நீங்க நல்ல எழுத்தாளர். உங்க-ளோட ‘வெள்ளை மாடு’, ‘ஒன்பது ரூபாய் நோட்டு’ ரெண்டையும் படிச்சு உருகியிருக்கேன். நீங்க என்னோட ‘தேசிய கீதம்’ பார்த்துட்டு, ‘இப்படி-எல்லாம் எடுக்க முடியுமாய்யா?’னு நெருங்கி வந்தீங்க. அப்படி ஆரம்பிச் சது நம்ம நட்பு. ஆனா, நீங்க பேசக் கூடிய வார்த்தை-களுக்கும் வாழுற வாழ்க்கைக்கும் எவ்வளவு முரண்பாடு!
‘சொல்ல மறந்த கதை’ யில் என்னை ஒரு நடிகனா அறி-முகம் செய்தவர் நீங்கதான். நான் சம்பளமே வேண்டாம்னு சொன்னேன். ‘இல்லை சேரா, இது தொழில்!’னு 3 லட்சத்தை எனக்குக் கொடுத்துட்டு, 25 லட்சம் கொடுத்ததா தயாரிப்பாளரிடம் கணக்கு காட்டினவர் நீங்க. உங்களின் இந்த ‘அரிய’ குணத்தைக்கூட இதுவரைக்கும் நான் வெளியே சொன்னதில்லை, தங்கர்! இப்போ சொல்ல வெச்சதும் உங்கள் பேச்சுதான்.
இவ்வளவு அழகாக எழுதுகிற கலைஞன், எப்படி இத்தனை நேர்மையற்றவரா இருக்க முடியும்னு நினைச்சுப் பார்க்கவே கஷ்டமா இருக்கு தங்கர். வாழ்க்கையின் உயர்ந்த பட்ச நல்ல மனநிலையை எப்பதான் அடையப்போறீங்க?
‘சொல்ல மறந்த கதை’யில் என் நடிப்பைப் பார்த்துட்டு, பல தடவை கட்டிப்பிடிச்சுப் பாராட்டி அழுதிருக்கீங்க. ஆனா, அதே வேகத்தில் இன்னொரு நடிகரைப் பார்க்கப் போய், ‘சேரனுக்குப் பதில் நீங்க நடிச்சிருந்தா, அந்தப் படம் பிச்சிட்டுப் போயிருக்கும்’னு சிரிச்சிருக்கீங்க. முரண்பாடுகளின் மூட்டையாகிட்டீங்களே, ஏன் தங்கர்?
எந்த ஒரு கஷ்டமான கணத்திலும், உங்களுக்கு ஆதரவா நின்னிருக்கேன். குஷ்புவுக்கும் உங்களுக்கும் நடந்த சண்டையில் உங்கள் பக்கம் நின்னு, நடிகர் சங்கத்துக்கும் யூனியனுக்கும் அலைஞ்சிருக்கேன். ‘அழகி’யை ரிலீஸ் செய்ய முடியாம தவிச்-சப்போ, என் ஆபீஸ்ல கூடிப் பேசி பிரச்னையைச் சரி பண்ணி-யிருக்கோம். ஆனா, ‘ஒண்ணுக்குள்ள ஒண்ணு’ன்னு சொல்றவர், என்னோட ‘ஆட்டோகிராஃப்’, ‘தவமாய் தவமிருந்து’ படங்கள் ரிலீஸ் செய்யக் கஷ்டப்பட்ட காலங்களில், ஆறுதலாக ஒரு வார்த்தை, போனிலாவது நீங்க பேசியது உண்டா?
எப்போ பார்த்தாலும் ‘தமிழனுக்கு நான்தான் அத்தாரிட்டி’ன்னு சொல்லிக்கிறீங்களே... மகேந்திரனின் ‘உதிரிப்பூக்க’ளும், பாரதிராஜா-வின் பல படங்களும் காட்டிய தமிழ் வாழ்க்கையை நீங்க இன்னும் காட்டவே இல்லை. முதலில், உங்க படங்களைச் ‘சுருட்டாம’ நல்லா எடுக்கிறவிதத்தைப் பழகுங்க. ‘பள்ளிக்கூடம்’ மிகச் சிறந்த கதை. ஆனா, கொடுத்த பணத்தைச் ‘சுருட்டாமல்’ இருந்திருந்தால், அது இன்னும் நல்ல படமா வந்திருக்கும். இப்போ ‘ஒன்பது ரூபாய் நோட்டு’ படத்தையாவது கெடுக்காமல் எடுங்க. அதுதான் உங்களை வேறு இடத்தில் கொண்டுபோய் வைக்கும்.
என்னை மட்டுமில்லை... விஜயகாந்த்தையும், சரத்குமாரையும் வம்புக்கு இழுத்திருக்கீங்க. திருமா அண்ணன் சினிமாவுக்கு வந்ததை எந்த அளவுக்கு வரவேற்கிறோமோ, அதே மாதிரி இவங்களும் அரசியலுக்கு வரட்டுமே! அவங்களை மக்கள் முடிவு பண்ணட்டும். உங்களுக்கு அந்த அதிகாரத்தை யார் கொடுத்தாங்க?
‘அழகி’யை அப்போ கொண்டாடியது, இப்போ நீங்க திட்டுற அதே டைரக்டர்கள்தான். அவங்களுக்குத் தெரிஞ்சதை அவங்க பண்றாங்க; நமக்குத் தெரிஞ்சதை நாம செய்றோம். அவரவர் திறமை, அவரவர் பாடு! மக்கள் புத்திசாலிகள். அவங்களுக்குத் திருப்தி இல்லைங்கிறதை ‘தென்றல்’, ‘மாயக்கண்ணாடி’ ரெண்டும் நிரூபிச்சுது. உங்களை வஸந்த்தும், விக்கிரமனும் பாராட்டியிருந்தா, அது அவங்க பெருந்தன்மை!
உங்களுக்குப் பதில் சொல்றதுக்கு முன்னால யோசிச்சேன். ஆனா, என்னால் அமைதியா இருக்க முடியலை. ஏன்னா, இது சுமத்தப்பட்ட அமைதி. நான் வேகமா நடக்கிறபோதெல்லாம், இப்படி ஏதாவது ஒரு கல் என் பெருவிரலைக் காயப்படுத்திட்டே இருக்கு. இருந்தாலும் நன்றி மறப்பவன் நான் அல்ல. இப்பவும் நல்ல கதை இருந்தா, சொல்லுங்க... நடிக்கிறேன். ஆனால் உங்களின் பேச்சு, நீங்க நல்ல நண்பர் இல்-லைன்னு காட்டிவிட்டது. உங்கள் பொய் முகத்தைக் காட்டிவிட்டு, நான் இன்னும் வெகுதூரம் போக வேண்டும்.
ஒன்றே ஒன்றுதான் தங்கர்... நம் படைப்பு-களைத்தான் தமிழர்கள் நேசிக்கிறார்கள். நாம் அதிகம் பேசுவதை அல்ல!
நன்றி: விகடன்
சென்ற வார விகடன் இதழில், உங்கள் நேர்காணலைப் பார்த்தேன்.
ஒவ்வொருத்தருக்கும் எதிரி ஒருத்தன் உள்ளுக்குள்ளேயே இருப்பான். சிலருக்கு அவங்க நேர்மையே எதிரி! இன்னும் சிலருக்கு அவங்க திறமையே எதிரியாகும். ஆனா, உங்களுக்கு உங்க வாய்தான் எதிரி. என்னை நன்றி மறந்தவனாகச் சித்திரிச்சிருக்கீங்க. ஆனா, உண்மை என்ன தங்கர்?
‘பள்ளிக்கூடம்’ கதையை நீங்க என்னிடம் விவரிச்சப்போ, அது ‘அழகி’யையும் ‘ஆட்டோகிராஃப்’பையும் நினைவுபடுத்துதுன்னு சொன்னேன். இதில் நீங்களும் நானும் நடிச்சா, இவங்களுக்கு வேற வேலையே இல்லையான்னு மக்கள் நினைச்சிடுவாங்கன்னு மட்டும்-தான் சொன்னேன். வேறு நடிகர்கள் நடிச்சா, அது தெரியாதுன்னும் சொன்-னேன். ஆனா, பிடிவாதமா நின்னீங்க. இப்போ, அதை மறந்துட்டு என்னென்-னவோ பேசி இருக்கீங்க.
நீங்க நல்ல எழுத்தாளர். உங்க-ளோட ‘வெள்ளை மாடு’, ‘ஒன்பது ரூபாய் நோட்டு’ ரெண்டையும் படிச்சு உருகியிருக்கேன். நீங்க என்னோட ‘தேசிய கீதம்’ பார்த்துட்டு, ‘இப்படி-எல்லாம் எடுக்க முடியுமாய்யா?’னு நெருங்கி வந்தீங்க. அப்படி ஆரம்பிச் சது நம்ம நட்பு. ஆனா, நீங்க பேசக் கூடிய வார்த்தை-களுக்கும் வாழுற வாழ்க்கைக்கும் எவ்வளவு முரண்பாடு!
‘சொல்ல மறந்த கதை’ யில் என்னை ஒரு நடிகனா அறி-முகம் செய்தவர் நீங்கதான். நான் சம்பளமே வேண்டாம்னு சொன்னேன். ‘இல்லை சேரா, இது தொழில்!’னு 3 லட்சத்தை எனக்குக் கொடுத்துட்டு, 25 லட்சம் கொடுத்ததா தயாரிப்பாளரிடம் கணக்கு காட்டினவர் நீங்க. உங்களின் இந்த ‘அரிய’ குணத்தைக்கூட இதுவரைக்கும் நான் வெளியே சொன்னதில்லை, தங்கர்! இப்போ சொல்ல வெச்சதும் உங்கள் பேச்சுதான்.
இவ்வளவு அழகாக எழுதுகிற கலைஞன், எப்படி இத்தனை நேர்மையற்றவரா இருக்க முடியும்னு நினைச்சுப் பார்க்கவே கஷ்டமா இருக்கு தங்கர். வாழ்க்கையின் உயர்ந்த பட்ச நல்ல மனநிலையை எப்பதான் அடையப்போறீங்க?
‘சொல்ல மறந்த கதை’யில் என் நடிப்பைப் பார்த்துட்டு, பல தடவை கட்டிப்பிடிச்சுப் பாராட்டி அழுதிருக்கீங்க. ஆனா, அதே வேகத்தில் இன்னொரு நடிகரைப் பார்க்கப் போய், ‘சேரனுக்குப் பதில் நீங்க நடிச்சிருந்தா, அந்தப் படம் பிச்சிட்டுப் போயிருக்கும்’னு சிரிச்சிருக்கீங்க. முரண்பாடுகளின் மூட்டையாகிட்டீங்களே, ஏன் தங்கர்?
எந்த ஒரு கஷ்டமான கணத்திலும், உங்களுக்கு ஆதரவா நின்னிருக்கேன். குஷ்புவுக்கும் உங்களுக்கும் நடந்த சண்டையில் உங்கள் பக்கம் நின்னு, நடிகர் சங்கத்துக்கும் யூனியனுக்கும் அலைஞ்சிருக்கேன். ‘அழகி’யை ரிலீஸ் செய்ய முடியாம தவிச்-சப்போ, என் ஆபீஸ்ல கூடிப் பேசி பிரச்னையைச் சரி பண்ணி-யிருக்கோம். ஆனா, ‘ஒண்ணுக்குள்ள ஒண்ணு’ன்னு சொல்றவர், என்னோட ‘ஆட்டோகிராஃப்’, ‘தவமாய் தவமிருந்து’ படங்கள் ரிலீஸ் செய்யக் கஷ்டப்பட்ட காலங்களில், ஆறுதலாக ஒரு வார்த்தை, போனிலாவது நீங்க பேசியது உண்டா?
எப்போ பார்த்தாலும் ‘தமிழனுக்கு நான்தான் அத்தாரிட்டி’ன்னு சொல்லிக்கிறீங்களே... மகேந்திரனின் ‘உதிரிப்பூக்க’ளும், பாரதிராஜா-வின் பல படங்களும் காட்டிய தமிழ் வாழ்க்கையை நீங்க இன்னும் காட்டவே இல்லை. முதலில், உங்க படங்களைச் ‘சுருட்டாம’ நல்லா எடுக்கிறவிதத்தைப் பழகுங்க. ‘பள்ளிக்கூடம்’ மிகச் சிறந்த கதை. ஆனா, கொடுத்த பணத்தைச் ‘சுருட்டாமல்’ இருந்திருந்தால், அது இன்னும் நல்ல படமா வந்திருக்கும். இப்போ ‘ஒன்பது ரூபாய் நோட்டு’ படத்தையாவது கெடுக்காமல் எடுங்க. அதுதான் உங்களை வேறு இடத்தில் கொண்டுபோய் வைக்கும்.
என்னை மட்டுமில்லை... விஜயகாந்த்தையும், சரத்குமாரையும் வம்புக்கு இழுத்திருக்கீங்க. திருமா அண்ணன் சினிமாவுக்கு வந்ததை எந்த அளவுக்கு வரவேற்கிறோமோ, அதே மாதிரி இவங்களும் அரசியலுக்கு வரட்டுமே! அவங்களை மக்கள் முடிவு பண்ணட்டும். உங்களுக்கு அந்த அதிகாரத்தை யார் கொடுத்தாங்க?
‘அழகி’யை அப்போ கொண்டாடியது, இப்போ நீங்க திட்டுற அதே டைரக்டர்கள்தான். அவங்களுக்குத் தெரிஞ்சதை அவங்க பண்றாங்க; நமக்குத் தெரிஞ்சதை நாம செய்றோம். அவரவர் திறமை, அவரவர் பாடு! மக்கள் புத்திசாலிகள். அவங்களுக்குத் திருப்தி இல்லைங்கிறதை ‘தென்றல்’, ‘மாயக்கண்ணாடி’ ரெண்டும் நிரூபிச்சுது. உங்களை வஸந்த்தும், விக்கிரமனும் பாராட்டியிருந்தா, அது அவங்க பெருந்தன்மை!
உங்களுக்குப் பதில் சொல்றதுக்கு முன்னால யோசிச்சேன். ஆனா, என்னால் அமைதியா இருக்க முடியலை. ஏன்னா, இது சுமத்தப்பட்ட அமைதி. நான் வேகமா நடக்கிறபோதெல்லாம், இப்படி ஏதாவது ஒரு கல் என் பெருவிரலைக் காயப்படுத்திட்டே இருக்கு. இருந்தாலும் நன்றி மறப்பவன் நான் அல்ல. இப்பவும் நல்ல கதை இருந்தா, சொல்லுங்க... நடிக்கிறேன். ஆனால் உங்களின் பேச்சு, நீங்க நல்ல நண்பர் இல்-லைன்னு காட்டிவிட்டது. உங்கள் பொய் முகத்தைக் காட்டிவிட்டு, நான் இன்னும் வெகுதூரம் போக வேண்டும்.
ஒன்றே ஒன்றுதான் தங்கர்... நம் படைப்பு-களைத்தான் தமிழர்கள் நேசிக்கிறார்கள். நாம் அதிகம் பேசுவதை அல்ல!
நன்றி: விகடன்
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Software Engineer
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.&n bsp; I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!
Thanks,
Troubled User.....
_____________________________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 , thinking that
it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Sup port . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance . Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .
However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!
Best of luck,
Tech Support
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.&n bsp; I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!
Thanks,
Troubled User.....
_____________________________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 , thinking that
it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Sup port . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance . Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .
However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!
Best of luck,
Tech Support
HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?
Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a
closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.
Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and
then analyze the situation.
If they are counting the bricks.
Put them in the accounts department.
If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the
bricks.
Put them in engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange
order.
Put them in planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other.
Put them in operations.
If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces.
Put them in information technology.
If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.
If they say they have tried different combinations,
yet not a brick has been moved.
Put them in sales.
If they have already left for the day.
Put them in marketing.
If they are staring out of the window.
Put them on strategic planning.
And last
If they are talking to each other and not a single
brick has been moved.
Congratulate them and put them in top management.
he he he .............!!!!!
closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.
Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and
then analyze the situation.
If they are counting the bricks.
Put them in the accounts department.
If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the
bricks.
Put them in engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange
order.
Put them in planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other.
Put them in operations.
If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces.
Put them in information technology.
If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.
If they say they have tried different combinations,
yet not a brick has been moved.
Put them in sales.
If they have already left for the day.
Put them in marketing.
If they are staring out of the window.
Put them on strategic planning.
And last
If they are talking to each other and not a single
brick has been moved.
Congratulate them and put them in top management.
he he he .............!!!!!
Jokes
Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.
Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Don't take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my Seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You Appoint me
Interviewer: .......!!!!!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car
in a restricted area. The Judge askd him if he had
anything to say in his defence. "They should not put
up such misleading notices", said Banta. "It said,
FINE FOR PARKING HERE
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa: What is another difference between a mosquito
and a fly?
Banta: A fly can fly but a mosquito cannot mosquito
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Good News & Bad News!!
Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner with God (at the time when Y2K problem surfaced).
During dinner He told them: "I invited you here because I need three important people to send my message out to all people - Tomorrow I will destroy the earth"
After dinner, Yeltsin immediately called together his cabinet and told them:
"I have two very bad news items for you:
1. God really exists, and
2. Tomorrow He will destroy the earth."
Clinton called an Emergency meeting of the Senate and Congress and told them:
"I have Good news and Bad News:
1. The good news is: God really does exist.
2. The bad news is: tomorrow He's destroying the earth."
Bill Gates went back to Microsoft and happily announced:
"I have two fantastic announcements:
1. I am one of three most important people on earth.
2. The Year 2000 problem is solved."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A South indian GIRL-FRIEND
***********
1. Her mother looks down at you because you didn't
study in IIT or Madras /Anna University.
2. Her father starts or ends every conversation with "... I say..."
3. She shudders if you use four letter words.
4. She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided (The
Dubai based Oil Well Company will negotiate
with her on a 25 year contract to extract coconut oil from her hair.)
5. She uses the word 'Super' as her only superlative.
6. Her name is another name for a Goddess or a flower.
7. Her first name is longer than your first name,
middle name and surname combined (unless you
are from Andhra)
8. She bursts into songs with her cousins in every
movie.
9. For weddings, she sports a mini jasmine garden on her head and wears silk saris in the Madras heat without looking too uncomfortable while you are melting in your singlet.
10. She thinks Mohan Lal is the sexiest man alive.
11. Her favourite cricketer is Krishnamachari
Srikkanth.
12.Her favourite food is dosa though she has tried
North Indian snacks like Chats (pronounced like the slang for 'conversation')
13.She bores you by telling you which raaga each song you hear is based on.
14.You have to give her jewellery, though she has
already got plenty of it
15. Her thali (Mangal Sutra) weighs more than the
championship belts worn by WWF wrestlers.
16.She is more educated than you.
17.Her father thinks she is much smarter than you...
( net il suttadhu)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Don't take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my Seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You Appoint me
Interviewer: .......!!!!!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car
in a restricted area. The Judge askd him if he had
anything to say in his defence. "They should not put
up such misleading notices", said Banta. "It said,
FINE FOR PARKING HERE
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa: What is another difference between a mosquito
and a fly?
Banta: A fly can fly but a mosquito cannot mosquito
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Good News & Bad News!!
Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner with God (at the time when Y2K problem surfaced).
During dinner He told them: "I invited you here because I need three important people to send my message out to all people - Tomorrow I will destroy the earth"
After dinner, Yeltsin immediately called together his cabinet and told them:
"I have two very bad news items for you:
1. God really exists, and
2. Tomorrow He will destroy the earth."
Clinton called an Emergency meeting of the Senate and Congress and told them:
"I have Good news and Bad News:
1. The good news is: God really does exist.
2. The bad news is: tomorrow He's destroying the earth."
Bill Gates went back to Microsoft and happily announced:
"I have two fantastic announcements:
1. I am one of three most important people on earth.
2. The Year 2000 problem is solved."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A South indian GIRL-FRIEND
***********
1. Her mother looks down at you because you didn't
study in IIT or Madras /Anna University.
2. Her father starts or ends every conversation with "... I say..."
3. She shudders if you use four letter words.
4. She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided (The
Dubai based Oil Well Company will negotiate
with her on a 25 year contract to extract coconut oil from her hair.)
5. She uses the word 'Super' as her only superlative.
6. Her name is another name for a Goddess or a flower.
7. Her first name is longer than your first name,
middle name and surname combined (unless you
are from Andhra)
8. She bursts into songs with her cousins in every
movie.
9. For weddings, she sports a mini jasmine garden on her head and wears silk saris in the Madras heat without looking too uncomfortable while you are melting in your singlet.
10. She thinks Mohan Lal is the sexiest man alive.
11. Her favourite cricketer is Krishnamachari
Srikkanth.
12.Her favourite food is dosa though she has tried
North Indian snacks like Chats (pronounced like the slang for 'conversation')
13.She bores you by telling you which raaga each song you hear is based on.
14.You have to give her jewellery, though she has
already got plenty of it
15. Her thali (Mangal Sutra) weighs more than the
championship belts worn by WWF wrestlers.
16.She is more educated than you.
17.Her father thinks she is much smarter than you...
( net il suttadhu)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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