Jokes

Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.
Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Don't take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my Seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You Appoint me
Interviewer: .......!!!!!!!
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Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car
in a restricted area. The Judge askd him if he had
anything to say in his defence. "They should not put
up such misleading notices", said Banta. "It said,
FINE FOR PARKING HERE

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Santa: What is another difference between a mosquito
and a fly?
Banta: A fly can fly but a mosquito cannot mosquito
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Good News & Bad News!!

Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner with God (at the time when Y2K problem surfaced).

During dinner He told them: "I invited you here because I need three important people to send my message out to all people - Tomorrow I will destroy the earth"

After dinner, Yeltsin immediately called together his cabinet and told them:
"I have two very bad news items for you:
1. God really exists, and
2. Tomorrow He will destroy the earth."


Clinton called an Emergency meeting of the Senate and Congress and told them:
"I have Good news and Bad News:
1. The good news is: God really does exist.
2. The bad news is: tomorrow He's destroying the earth."


Bill Gates went back to Microsoft and happily announced:
"I have two fantastic announcements:
1. I am one of three most important people on earth.
2. The Year 2000 problem is solved."
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WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A South indian GIRL-FRIEND
***********
1. Her mother looks down at you because you didn't
study in IIT or Madras /Anna University.
2. Her father starts or ends every conversation with "... I say..."
3. She shudders if you use four letter words.
4. She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided (The
Dubai based Oil Well Company will negotiate
with her on a 25 year contract to extract coconut oil from her hair.)
5. She uses the word 'Super' as her only superlative.
6. Her name is another name for a Goddess or a flower.
7. Her first name is longer than your first name,
middle name and surname combined (unless you
are from Andhra)
8. She bursts into songs with her cousins in every
movie.
9. For weddings, she sports a mini jasmine garden on her head and wears silk saris in the Madras heat without looking too uncomfortable while you are melting in your singlet.
10. She thinks Mohan Lal is the sexiest man alive.
11. Her favourite cricketer is Krishnamachari
Srikkanth.
12.Her favourite food is dosa though she has tried
North Indian snacks like Chats (pronounced like the slang for 'conversation')
13.She bores you by telling you which raaga each song you hear is based on.
14.You have to give her jewellery, though she has
already got plenty of it
15. Her thali (Mangal Sutra) weighs more than the
championship belts worn by WWF wrestlers.
16.She is more educated than you.
17.Her father thinks she is much smarter than you...

( net il suttadhu)
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